What would you do? Please! Update post #11

[Isamama]

Hi,

I currently work at a job that I love. The one major drawback is the commute. It is 30 miles away, doesn't sound too much, but I have to work my way through a major city and it takes me one hour door-to-door.

There is a possibility to transfer to a location 5.5 miles away from me (15 minute commute).

Would you give up a job that you love (my duties, the people I work with) to transfer to a job close by, but you don't know that you would love?

There are definite pros and cons to both jobs, but pretty much the only cons to the job far away is the commute and the schedule (I have to work every Sat.).

The main thing I am unsure of about the new job is that I may have to just maintain the status quo instead of building the program. And I am not quite sure about the manager (probably b/c my current manager is awesome). The main pro being 1/4 of the commute and in the long run I will be able to spend more time with my daughter (at this time she would have to spend a couple of more hours in preschool--as I wouldn't be working Sat anymore, I would have to pick up those hours in the week. But when she is in kindy and grade school {next year} that won't matter).

Agg!!! What would you do? And THANK YOU!

[Carita]

if its just a transfer and you don't like it, can you apply to transfer back. speaking from experience, 1 hr commute each way really adds up, and i think it'll make a huge dent in quality time with your DD

[kcparker]

What will make your whole family happier (this includes YOU - if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, right?) - having you around more and having a shorter, less stressful commute, or having you in a job you love that makes you feel good and happy and sane? Maybe the new job would make you feel even better and more sane, or maybe you'd be miserable. It's a gamble. It really depends on where you find sanity and comfort. Being is a miserable job is hard, maybe harder than being in a car for 2 hours a day and being gone on Saturdays.

Personally, I would pick the shorter commute and more time with family, but I have a strong bias - one of my job search criteria was that my job HAD to be within biking distance of my house...

I would also say that your daughter is little for such a short time, and if you are at work a lot anyway, it's super-important to spend time with her before she starts getting older, having more activities, then wanting to spend time with friends and asking if you can please NOT walk within 30 feet of her at the mall because you are dressed in such uncool clothing.

[Isamama]

Yeah, I wouldn't have taken a job so far away normally, but I was about to become a single mama (not by my choice at the time) and needed income and benefits. The job was the best in my area for these.

Right now, I work Mon Wed Fri and Sat. I have all day tues and thurs with her. Her dad and I have worked our schedules so that she would have the least amount of preschool. She is currently in PS all day MOn and Wed, and half day Fri (w/ grandma/pa Fri afternoons) and with her dad on Sat. If I transferred, She would be in PS half day Mon and Tues, same as before for Wed and Fri.

Thank you so much for your quick replies. This has been keeping me up at night for a couple of weeks now. I do see me being happier with more time (at least 6 hours less a week of a commute--sometimes is takes me 1.5-2 hours to get home if there is a big happening in the city I have to cross).

[Isamama]

Originally Posted by Carita

if its just a transfer and you don't like it, can you apply to transfer back. speaking from experience, 1 hr commute each way really adds up, and i think it'll make a huge dent in quality time with your DD

My current manager says that she would absolutely take me bake IF the position has not been filled. I heart her.

[Carita]

then i say go for it - give it a shot.

good luck!

[Penelope]

I'd transfer. The commuting time can really eat into your energy.

[meemee]

how is your dd in ps/dc? does she have teh personality that really enjoys it and doesnt mind being there on your long days?

what is your personality like. if you are unhappy at your job could it pull you down really low?

if your dd is happy and well adjusted at ps/dc and is not complaining about being away from mama, then i would say dont change.

one of the things i have discovered is that everything always comes at a cost.

so you have a great job you enjoy, but that means more time away from dd.

however on the other hand you might get more time with dd yet not truly enjoy your job. can you deal with that? if you can then yup make the change.

[Ellien C]

Originally Posted by Isamama

My current manager says that she would absolutely take me bake IF the position has not been filled. I heart her.

In that case, Yes. And even if the position is filled something else might come open back an that office and then you'd know for sure which you value more.

[Bethla]

About a year ago I had a similar dilemma. I had my list of pros/cons for each job and decided to take the job that was really close to home. However, my commute job had a much more flexible schedule (I basically could make my own schedule) along with great co-workers.

Now I find myself pregnant and seriously thinking about how much I miss the flexibility! You just have to do what is best for you and your family...you can never predict what may happen...the grass is always greener!

[Isamama]

Hi all! Thank you again for your responses! I had the opportunity to meet more of the staff in the place close by and they seem pretty great. Also got a chance get to know more about what I will be able to do...I will be able to grow a program and continue my growth in my profession!

I got offered the job and I took it! I will be very sad to leave my current position (really sad to leave the people) and I am very excited to start something new.

Times are a changin'!