where to send the LO?

[abiyhayil]

DS will be 21 months when baby girl is due. DH mentioned having his parents watch him, but they live 40 minutes north of us and 1.5 hrs north of the hospital. Noone has mentioned when he would be brought back down and how he'll get there .. and I just don't like the idea! So I was wondering what you did with your LOs, it would stress DH out to have him in with us during the pushing phase, but I was hoping to have him back shortly after. My mom is willing to watch him (and she watched him while I was in nursing school and adores her)

[Earth Momma]

we didn't send our kids any where and found it to be a great transition because they were there for the birth and part of the experience. I too was concerned about - them seeing me in pain, pushing, blood, etc. so we talked about before hand and it went amazingly well!!

[Kismet_fw]

My dd is in prodromal labor now, the midwife will be here when she moves to real labor, and her ds will be in the home for the whole thing. She does have myself, my dh, her bros, and enough friends, that are all taking turns being toddler-wranglers. Her ds is mere days past his 2nd bday, but he has been told there is a baby inside of mom, and has felt plenty of the movement.

[thefreckledmama]

I would want to have someone who was willing to stay at our home with the kids,...it makes it a lot less stressful for little ones if they're in their normal environment. With my second child my mom was up at the hospital hanging out with my oldest, took her out during the actual birth, and came back in as soon as everything calmed down after the birth. With my last, my girls were with my SIL, who lived literally 5 minutes from the hospital. She brought my oldest up for the birth, then ran and got my younger child immediately after.

All that to say, your best bet is whoever is willing to be the most flexible.

[josie423]

My ds (14 months at the time) was with us throughout labor, he kept us entertained and laughing! He was out until I was pushing and then went in his playpen near the bed when the baby was born. He came out a few minutes later and got to meet his baby sister. I plan on having him and his sister at this birth as well. I wouldn't do it any other way - it was great!

[abiyhayil]

Any ideas on how to break this to DH. He is very sensitive to me 'telling him what to do' (diagnosed ODD at 15) thanks!

[WindyCityMom]

I'm sort of kinda of dealing with the same thing.

DD is 21 months now, will be around 24 months when the baby is born (baby is actually due three days before DDs birthday).

I doubt that my hospital would let her in the labor room, BUT I have super cool midwives that I could see letting it happen. I would want someone there other than DH in case DD gets in one of her moods, freaked out, or otherwise unable to be in the room with us.
BUT.. I don't want MIL, FIL, ANYONE there with us while I'm laboring. Our family can be a bit obnoxious (with DDs birth MIL decided to bring in a bunch of Mexican food for them to chow down in the corner while I was in labor.. rude!). I almost don't want to let anyone know I'm in labor, except for DH. I want DD to be with someone else, but I'm having trouble finding that "someone else". It would have to be a sitter, and preferably away from home. We live in the same house as our in laws (separate apartments!) so it's tricky.

[abiyhayil]

Oye that is tricky! I hope you can find a solution, my ILs really aren't interested in being there until they can play pass the baby. DH is jealous for my ILs that my parents are cooler. I'm thinking I'll have to go in labor, drive myself to the hospital and then call DH and tell him moms taking care of DS. Shouldn't be too hard to pull off right?

[WindyCityMom]

My ILs are kind of the same Even if I do have them watch DD, they will be upset for not being able to come to the hospital.. plus they don't strap her into her car seat right, remove her coat, nothing.

But best of luck to you.. hopefully driving in labor isn't in your future, lol!

[Peace+Hope]

Originally Posted by abiyhayil

Oye that is tricky! I hope you can find a solution, my ILs really aren't interested in being there until they can play pass the baby. DH is jealous for my ILs that my parents are cooler. I'm thinking I'll have to go in labor, drive myself to the hospital and then call DH and tell him moms taking care of DS. Shouldn't be too hard to pull off right?

sounds like he knows they are better for your son even if he's disappointed/jealous? don't know anything about living w/ ODD, but can it be discussed what's best for your piece of mind during your labor/delivery is most important, and having your son in the best environment for him is a big part of your being able to be relaxed and focused? maybe there's some creative way you can include your husband's parents later on?

i hate the idea of you having to sneak around. and you don't want to get to the hospital too early...

[abiyhayil]

I know it's really hard for me to go against my nonconfrontational nature. I usually only entertain these ideas daydreamily, but am honest with my husband IRL!