taking baby to school functions

[revizmomma]

If I'm not in the right forum, please LMK where I should post this....

background info: I have 3 big kids in the public school (two in K & one in First grade). Throughout the year at our school, there are activities for Kindergarteners only, Parents only, etc. DD is 6 months old & EBF. Last month, DH & I went to Meet the Teacher Night & I was met at the door by one of the program directors who wanted to know why I had brought her & that she was not allowed to come in (in a sling, nearly asleep, no less). She suggested we take turns with her in the hallway. DH talked to the teacher & she was fine with DD being in there during the presentation. When the director came back around I & saw me with DD in the classroom, I went out into the hallway & explained that if she made a peep I would leave the room immediately, as not to disrupt & that the teacher had approved it. She was semi-okay with it & didn't bother us anymore. (She has always been super nice & seemingly very understanding in the past)

Also, this was last school year, but the boys were in Pre-K & past of the program was each quarter a parent has to spend an hour in the classroom (so x2 for us :-). DS's teacher made it clear to me the day beforehand that I was not to bring DD (2 months old at the time). Luckily school is very close to us & I got her to sleep before I left her with DH.



my question: I'm in IL. I know we have awesome BF legislation, but I don't know where to find what I need. I have met the superintendent. I think that if I come to him with the right information, he can kind of set the faculty straight. I understand not wanting to have a bunch of toddlers running around, but a baby in a sling is totally different. I also do not want the kids to miss out on fun activities because the baby can't come with us. Is it just me or does that seem ridiculous????

thanks for your input!!!

[allical1284]

I can't offer any help regarding legislation, but I agree with you that this is ridiculous! I am sure they make these statements to avoid "a bunch of toddlers running around" (Although I have a problem with this train of thought as well) If children need to be with their mothers, they should be.
I have broken off a few professional relationships because of similar policies! I would maybe try explaining again to someone higher up the food chain that your baby is EBF and needs to be with you. Sorry, because I'm sure you want to keep things peaceful for your DS at school. Good Luck!!
Also, I found that saying my baby is EBF doesn't mean a whole lot to some people; so if questioned, I now say "my baby will go hungry if she is not with me".

[Latte Mama]

I think I need more information from you. Do you feel that they are discriminating against you due to breastfeeding? OR, do they have a general policy in place against having any younger siblings there?

Because if it's the latter, I'm not sure you can do much about that though I do understand your frustration. I guess I'm kind of surprised that a school wouldn't be more understanding of the fact that both parents would want to be there and may not have a sitter available.

If they don't relent, maybe you and DH could take turns going to these events and the other one stays home with the baby. Not the best desired solution I know but I'm not sure what else you could do.

Now if you do feel that it's a breastfeeding issue, certaily talk to the superintenedent.

[revizmomma]

It's not that they are necessarily doing it because of the breastfeeding, but when I said that she stays with me because she is breastfeeding, she didn't seem to even realize that that is a valid reason.

If we go to an evening function for the kids, there is really no way for DH to go in three directions with the big kids, but with baby on my back, it's totally do-able.

It's just that BF is the reason that I keep her with me.... IDK if that is enough though.

[Bethla]

My oldest son attends a public school where parent participation is required. They have a policy that no other siblings are allowed when you come to the school. I am going to try and complete all hours before baby is born and my dh will just have to go to the meetings. I don't know how other parents do it with young children/babies.

[NorthernPixie]

If it's a public school, and they require your attendance, I'm not sure how they can refuse your entry with the baby. Perhaps they -- superintendent, principal, whomever -- need to be tuned in to what EBF actually means in real terms. Maybe if you go well-informed re your state's legislation they can work with you to rewrite the policy. I'd approach it from an 'uneducated' point of view rather than a 'malicious' point of view. Unless people are living it, they don't tend to consider these things.

[Happily Blessed]

Unfortunately the school I work at has the same policy. It drives me nuts. Some of the parents get away with it, others do not. We have a momma at the school who is a good friend of mine, who had a complaint about her for nursing her little one at the school, in a supply room, with the door closed, and the lights off, with her phone as the only light. Was told it was inappropriate. I was furious, but I can't do anything about it.

I am so sorry you are going through this. You might tell the administration that the teachers your students are in class with have no problem with your LO being with you, and that for you to be at the school participating like they require, you will need to keep her with you.

Good luck.

[kcstar]

Originally Posted by Happily Blessed

We have a momma at the school who is a good friend of mine, who had a complaint about her for nursing her little one at the school, in a supply room, with the door closed, and the lights off, with her phone as the only light. Was told it was inappropriate. I was furious, but I can't do anything about it.

Well of course it is inappropriate! She should be in a nice, comfortable chair in someplace like the nurse's office, with the lights on!

[Happily Blessed]

I am so with you on that! She thought she was being discreet nursing him that way.

[Honey693]

Can they legally require you to volunteer in a public school? I just don't see how that's feasible since I know people who work opposite shifts and have more than one kid. Weekends are the only time where one would be able to go without a kid in tow.

[white_queen_22]

The IL state law reads "

Ill. Rev. Stat. ch. 740 § 137 (2004) creates the Right to Breastfeed Act. The law provides that a mother may breastfeed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be; a mother who breastfeeds in a place of worship shall follow the appropriate norms within that place of worship. (SB 3211)"

Therefore if YOU are authorized to be at the school, your nursing infant is authorized to be at that school even if "younger siblings" are not.

Period. That is what the law says. Tell the school superintendant that you will respect his wish for not disturbing the meetings, but that according to state law it is illegal for him to ask you to remove your nursing child from the premises, since you, yourself, are authorized to be there. Print out a copy of the state laws http://www.ncsl.org/Default.aspx?TabId=14389

Angela <><

P.S. Un-be-flipping-leivable! Seriously? You are being harassed for being a good momma and coming to the parent teacher meetings? When I worked in JH and HS I only WISH all the parents had actually shown up!! *scowl*