church isn't working for me, where to go from here?

[cachet]

I'm struggling with where to go with my faith, quite frankly I find I can't function in the church anymore due to the patriarchy there and the lack of the Divine Feminine.

I've been on this path for awhile, and reading The Dance of the Dissident Daughter has helped me to understand why I was/am feeling so unsettled.

So I don't know where to go or what to do from here. I want to connect with other women in particular who 'get it'. I want to be who I am, I am not feeling that in the church, sadly.

Anyone else feeling this way too?

[Tradd]

Guess it depends on which church you've been attending. Where *have* you been attending? The more "progressive" churches, such as the Episcopalians in the States, have women regional leaders, and the presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church *is* a woman.

[philomom]

I left church as soon as I could. The hypocrisy and patriarchy are so horrible.

I do a "follow the seasons" thing with my kids and we are blissfully god-less here at my house.

Church only gave me pain and suffering. Following my own path gives me joy and restores my wonder with the world.

Good luck to you.

[hopefulfaith]

I (am/was?) RC, and I stopped attending a year and a half ago after some soul searching about whether my attendance truly reflected my beliefs: the Church's hypocrisy about priests' sexual abuse, the patriarchy so threatened by women called to the priesthood that it excommunicated them & the absolute refusal to even dialogue about it, etc.

My leaving was also influenced by "Dissident Daughter" and the same.

I attend an Episcopal church now, and have much less cognitive dissonance about being a part of this community.

I don't know you, but thinking about attending a different church as opposed to leaving altogether might help, perhaps?

Blessings, mama. Peace on your journey.

[cachet]

Tradd--I attend an evangelical church--I guess that's what it's called anyway. I don't think ANY church would suit me at this point--they are all based on a patriarchal culture.

philomom--thank you for your perspective. I am still a believer, but really need to re-frame God in my own way--a way that honors the divine feminine...

hopeful--I may try that. I do feel that the Episcopal church would still leave me dissatisfied, based on the whole patriarchy thing. I am glad it works for you.

thank you all. I wish there were women I could talk to IRL about this, hmmm--how to find them?!

[zinemama]

You might want to check out the Society of Friends (Quakers). No patriarchy there and you don't even have to be a Christian, just believe that there is "that of God" in everyone.

http://www.quakerinfo.org/

[Ellien C]

At my church we do pray to father-mother god and use a version of the bible that includes inclusive language. I will also say that the person who I can talk to the MOST about these things - Goddesses in Everywoman type stuff is a lady I met at my church. She is always putting together these pagan sort of rituals for us to honor the divine feminine. But anyway, I'd suggest getting to know some pagan or wiccan women or just put out there that you want to meet people like that.

[boigrrrlwonder]

You might want to try a Unitarian Universalist church as well.

[wombatclay]

Every UU group is different, but I agree... you might like the Unitarian Universalist community. There is no creed or "list of required beliefs" so there is a lot of variety and often a very "as you will" approach. Some UU groups have a strong feminist/pagan foundation. A "Cakes for the Queen of Heaven" group and a CUUPS group (covenant of unitarian universalist pagans) would be a good sign that a specific UU church might suit. There is a nice website here.

But I'm not sure what you're looking for. Do you want to find a church community that is in line with your beliefs? BeliefNet offers a "quiz" that is a bit silly but not too shabby at helping people narrow down and create a "what faith suits my beliefs?" list. Or do you want to explore non-church spirituality? Does a pagan/earth based approach feel right? Websites like WitchVox or Covenant of the Goddess provide networking if you're looking for a local pagan group (there are many different paths within the pagan umbrella... some that follow a "female deity only" path. Dianic wicca is an example of this). You might also visit the mdc pagan parents thread.

Good luck with your journey!

[kangamitroo]

i highly, highly recommend the books of Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza and Rosemary R Ruether. they both explore feminine spirituality, feminist Bible study, and liberation theology, among other things.

not that you have to stick with christianity, but it might help to have some fresh perspectives on the religion you have experienced.

best wishes in your explorations.

[DocsNemesis]

I went to a UU church as a child. I really liked it-it was by far my favorite church.

My mom is not religious, but always encouraged me to find my own faith and whatever fit what was going on in my head. I attended churches of all kinds and often felt odd in those churches. The only place I really felt at home and free to express the way I felt was at the UU church. (To explain-ever since I was a child, I believed that there was some higher power but what that higher power is, I don't know. I also never understood why God would hate those who didn't follow a specific religion-and as I got older it made even less sense to me. So many religions are sooo close in beliefs.)

We had people from all sorts of religions there-muslims, JW's, LDS's, Hindu's, Buddhists, and of course all different sects of Christianity. I'm sure there were Wiccan's and Pagan's as well. While they may not be preaching about the Divine Femanine, they wouldn't be puting you down for anything either and would probably love to hear about it. But as someone else said, they vary a lot (the churches).