Deciding the Day of

[boigrrrlwonder]

I have hired a homebirth midwife for prenatal care. Ideally, I'd like to not call her, but with childcare (for a toddler) logistics, etc... it kind of depends on how the day goes. Anyone deciding whether to have an assisted or unassisted on the day of the birth?

[ursusarctos]

I will probably engage a midwife to be able to call in case I feel like it the day of, as well as doing prenatal care in the hospital so that option will be available as well, but I will prepare for a UC because that is what I truly desire. I don't know what my intuition will tell me on the day of labor, so I want all my options to be open.
However, the system for prenatal care is different where I live, and that's the only reason I would feel ok doing it like that. Midwives don't give prenatal care here, they only come to your birth, and only if you call them. Otherwise it is assumed you will go to the hospital. Homebirth doesn't have a legal status at all here, so all prenatal care is in the hospital. You also only pay the midwife for the birth itself, since they don't give prenatal care. Because of this, I don't feel like I would be compromising the trust between me and my midwife by not actually calling when I gave birth (an "oops"). Also, there would not be the financial issues of how much to pay the midwife for just prenatal care and no birth (some midwives in the states charge the same regardless of whether they are present at the birth or not). If the system were different (i.e. I had to hire a midwife for my entire prenatal care and the birth, got to know her, etc.) I would probably feel much more uncomfortable planning an "oops" with midwives for financial and interpersonal reasons.
That said, I know people plan "oops" births with midwife backups - there have been some threads on here about planning an "oops" if you search.

[indignantgirl]

I had a midwife friend who was prepared to come to my births if I wanted her there, but she knew ahead of time that my ideal birth was a UC and was very supportive of that. I gleaned a LOT of knowledge from her about things like breech birthing, cord around the neck, when it's a true emergency, etc. I ended up not wanting her till after the birth, so I had 2 UC births and then had a midwife there afterwards to help with the clean up and do any official business. I let her weigh and measure the baby while I was showering, and I also let her inspect the placenta to make sure it was complete (although I delivered it unassisted too).

As she was my friend, I really enjoyed having her around, she made a nice barrier between me and all the family when I got tired and just wanted to snuggle my new babe in bed (the family respected her authority since she was a "medical" person).

I really think it's a good idea to decide at the time. I found during my two UC labors that everything just happened naturally and it wouldn't have even OCCURRED to me to call someone to come. If I had been planning an "oops" it might have felt deceitful (although deception is justified to protect your birth, if necessary), but if you decide "in the moment", you can honestly say it didn't occur to you to call until it was over. I am really glad I was upfront with my midwife because she shared such a wealth of information and was so supportive. It gave me a lot of confidence that SHE had confidence in me.

[jenneology]

I guess you could say I did that, but I thought it was the other way around. I was planning an unassisted birth and would call for the midwife if I wanted to on the day of. I didn't though. Right before the baby was born, the two year old started bouncing off the walls so I told my husband that it was time for him to go to our neighbors house. Right as they were about to walk out the turn, the baby slid to crowning. They didn't end up leaving and DC1 was there for his sister's birth, just like I had hoped.

[MyBoysBlue]

I decided the day of. I had been seeing a family doc and I knew I wanted a UC and decided that I would let my intuition tell me what to do once I was in labour. Stay home or got to the hospital. I went into labour and there was no way I wanted to go anywhere.

[chirp]

we decided the day of with our first child.

this time it will be the same.

leaving it open is the best way to go. i've found that being tied to a specific end clouds my judgment.

[flapjack]

My last two, we decided the day of. DD was born with a midwife there, which was absolutely the right decision. DS3 was born without a midwife there, though we did ring her before he was born. This time round, I'm playing it by ear again.