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Waiting to Adopt NON DDC ~ October 2009

post #1 of 92
Thread Starter 
This is a "Non Due Date Club" for all the Mamas waiting to adopt kiddos, whether newborn or older. We can share our stories, encourage each other while we wait and be patient (or not) for our little ones to arrive.

Feel free to join in if you are waiting for a foster kiddo, a relative or an adoption in any stage. We're not trying to be exclusive at all. Mamas who don't have any kids yet but who are waiting to adopt or foster a kiddo are also welcome. Also feel free to chime in if you have previously adopted and have stories or advice to share.

Please keep this thread supportive and gentle. We all have different journeys and different ways of "getting there".

Here is the link to September's NON DDC

**************************

Waiting to Adopt DDC Roll Call!!!


BeckC (Rebecca)
Domestic Transracial Newborn Adoption
Homestudy approved 8/09
Waiting to be matched

Whistler (Erin)
Domestic Transracial Newborn Adoption
Baby boy born on 9/29
Home on 10/9!

mamalemon
Domestic Newborn Adoption
Baby boy is home!

mamarhu
Foster/adoptive parent, hoping to adopt DFC
Maybe waiting for 5yo twins, sibs of DFC

tiffani
International African adoption
Working on paperwork

lamamax3
Domestic Newborn Adoption
Licensed and waiting to be matched

curliemama
Private adoption
Licensed and waiting to be matched
Now filling out agency paperwork

HeatherAtHome (Heather)
Hoping to foster/adopt
Need to buy a house, then begin licensing process

candm
International Haitian adoption
Finalized, waiting to bring our son and daughter home!

crl (Catherine)
Updating homestudies for China and Kyrgyzstan
Starting newborn domestic homestudy
Matched with an emom due in April

sesa70 (Theresa)
Domestic Transracial Infant Adoption
Working on homestudy and classes

airmide_m
Beginning adoption process
Working on getting lawyer and homestudy right away

chanibell
International Adoption
Thinking stage for #2

angie6191
Hoping to adopt current foster kiddos
Starting process for domestic transracial newborn adoption

azedazobollis (Christine)
DD came home on December
Waiting for finalization

Polliwog (Beth)
Hoping to adopt DFD who is free for adoption
Next court date in Nov

DTmama1
Matched with sibling group from foster care
Ages 6, 9, 10, 11, and 13
Kids are moved in!

raqmykids (Raquel)
Transracial domestic adoption
Waiting for placement

someonenamedleah (Leah)
Domestic Transracial Infant Adoption
Matched with an emom expecting twin boys in January

Alvenchrst
Foster/adopt
Working on paperwork

ftlmom2001
Domestic private adoption
Baby boy born 10/13

hdeering
Foster parents to 3 yo, 3 yo, and 5 month old.
Moving towards adoption with 2 out of 3, but maybe all 3.
TPR hearing for 1 or 2 of them in Jan.

excitedtobeamom
Adopting from Thailand
Waiting on referral (hopefully summer/fall 2010)

hi abbott
Working on agency paperwork

rebyell
Domestic adoption
Homestudy approved
Matched with emom due Nov 16

Luv-my-boys
Special needs Foster/Adopt thru state
Approved, Waiting for $$ to finish homestudy

Crpsmnwife
Foster to Adopt through state
Classes and paperwork completed
Have been waiting 2+ months for homestudy to begin

Ttoes
Domestic Newborn Adoption
Homestudy approved
Waiting to be matched

SimplyRochelle (Rochelle)
Hoping to adopt from foster care
Just starting the process

griffin2004
State Foster-to-Adopt Program
Waiting for a placement
Researching private adoption

christophersmom
Hoping to foster
Waiting for approval

leahcar
Homestudy approved 07/09
Hoping to adopt an older child (girl)

ladycop79 (Heather B)
Hoping to foster
Taking MAPP classes


**************************

Congratulations to Erin (Whistler) on bringing home her son!
post #2 of 92
Thread Starter 
October's NONDDC is up!

Not much to update here. Our agency did update their website though and our picture is on their "Adoptive Parents" section.
post #3 of 92
Our baby is due on less than 2 weeks. I am so excited. PBM is already 1-2cm dilated and is having a stress test done tuesday.
Does anyone know what a stress test is? What are they checking for and what does it mean?
post #4 of 92
Hey ladies! I would love to go ahead and join in here. DH and I are attending a foster-adopt inquiry meeting on Tuesday and we're hoping that about a year and half from now, we'll be ready. We've been married almost 3 years, we're both students, and we both share a strong desire to adopt out of the foster care system. We won't be moving into a bigger house until January but we're hoping to have our classes completed by then. I'm looking forward to actually getting to begin and not just talk about it.


Also, ftlmom2001, during a stress test they'll check the mom's BP, baby's heartrate and size, determine if any contractions are occuring, check how dialated she is...basically, just make sure the baby is still thriving in the womb.
post #5 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by ftlmom2001 View Post
Our baby is due on less than 2 weeks. I am so excited. PBM is already 1-2cm dilated and is having a stress test done tuesday.
Does anyone know what a stress test is? What are they checking for and what does it mean?
A stress test is where they stimulate contractions. Probably with IV pitocin. The midwives I used to work with would do it with nipple stimulation (which produces oxytocin--the substance they are replicating with pitocin--which stimulates contractions.) They put mom on a monitor and check and see how well the baby does with the contractions. They do this if the baby is overdue, if they have concerns, or just because they are intervention-happy. What they want to know is how well the baby should tolerate the stress of labor.

In today's high intervention world I would not worry too much why they are doing this. Though the emom has the right to ask why they're doing it and I'd recommend she find out. It's not too invasive, except she will probably have an IV and be on a monitor.
post #6 of 92
Welcome Rochelle!

Well, no call today so I still don't know when the court date is next week *bang head* SO we wait some more.

Little back story... we're matched with a birth mom who gave birth Monday and can't decide whether to place or parent. Either would be ok, just need to get it decided. If she places it will be for sure with us. So we either get a baby this week.... or we don't.
post #7 of 92
Rochelle welcome to the group.
Ladies thank you for the explaination of the stress test. I feel a loy calmer now. It's getting close and I'm having a hard time just waiting.
Whistler, I can't imagine going through such a wait. You sound so calm and sure. How do you stay so pleasent in all this.
post #8 of 92
Rochelle, welcome! I am pretty new here as well, but I have found this to be a great group!

ftlmom, you must be getting so excited!

Erin, I second ftlmom's sentiment...I am amazed by your composure! I'd be freaking out! I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and hoping for the best for ALL involved.

AFM, can you change my status to Domestic Transracial Infant Adoption, MATCHED with an emom expecting twin boys in January!
post #9 of 92
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ftlmom2001 View Post
Our baby is due on less than 2 weeks. I am so excited. PBM is already 1-2cm dilated and is having a stress test done tuesday.
Does anyone know what a stress test is? What are they checking for and what does it mean?
How exciting! I'm sure the stress test will be just fine. Let us know how it goes.



Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyRochelle View Post
Hey ladies! I would love to go ahead and join in here. DH and I are attending a foster-adopt inquiry meeting on Tuesday and we're hoping that about a year and half from now, we'll be ready. We've been married almost 3 years, we're both students, and we both share a strong desire to adopt out of the foster care system. We won't be moving into a bigger house until January but we're hoping to have our classes completed by then. I'm looking forward to actually getting to begin and not just talk about it.
Welcome! I added you.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Whistler View Post
Well, no call today so I still don't know when the court date is next week *bang head* SO we wait some more.

Little back story... we're matched with a birth mom who gave birth Monday and can't decide whether to place or parent. Either would be ok, just need to get it decided. If she places it will be for sure with us. So we either get a baby this week.... or we don't.
Still praying for your family and emom and baby. I know this is a tough week.



Quote:
Originally Posted by someonenamedleah View Post
AFM, can you change my status to Domestic Transracial Infant Adoption, MATCHED with an emom expecting twin boys in January!
Congratulations on the match! I have no idea what AFM means, but you're updated!
post #10 of 92
We are remaining in the state foster-to-adopt program, although not terribly hopeful about a placement. I may switch to straight fostering after the 1st of the year. Haven't decided yet.

I'm investigating private adoption via an attorney. What I've learned so far has been encouraging re: both timelines and $$. I already have a home study, so I'm working on my family profile now. If anyone has guidance on that, I'd appreciate it very much.

We'll likely parallel track f-to-a and the private efforts for the next year or so. Should it have to be this hard?
post #11 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by ftlmom2001 View Post
Whistler, I can't imagine going through such a wait. You sound so calm and sure. How do you stay so pleasent in all this.
Oh, I have certainly had my moments!!!

For the sake of the other kids I am trying really, really, really hard to distract myself from thinking too much about it. It will be so nice to have it done, though. Right now I think I am kind of resigned to not getting this baby so I don't fall hard. If we get him you will see some serious freaking out!
post #12 of 92
Erin,
I barely slept last night thinking about you. Have you heard anything yet?
Please drop us all a post whenever you here something.
I am praying that you find out soon.
Michaelle
post #13 of 92
Thread Starter 
Well we got a phone call from our sw today. An emom likes our profile. Here's the thing(s) though. She's not due until mid April which means she's only like 13 weeks pregnant. And she has a lot of expenses that need covering, which is not really in our budget.

I'm not sure if our agency would let us put off the match until much later in the pregnancy. DH and I have a lot to talk about and a lot of questions for the sw.
post #14 of 92
Rebecca,

I'm somewhat familar with that position. It's tough. I hope you all are able to get all your questions answered.

Catherine
post #15 of 92
Put in a call to our SW today to find out when our court date is. She wasn't there... was in court with another case, ironically. I will be so glad when this is over.....
post #16 of 92
We are *almost* finalized as foster parents. It has been a long wait, but our file is supposed to be approved by end of October and we will be ready.
post #17 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by christophersmom View Post
We are *almost* finalized as foster parents. It has been a long wait, but our file is supposed to be approved by end of October and we will be ready.
Terrific. I remember when you were beginning the proccess. I'm in Orange County and have been fostering for a little over three years. I adopted my son last year and will adopt my foster daughter in February or March.

Remind me, are you going with DSS or an agency?
post #18 of 92
Christophersmom, *almost* congratulations It'll be exciting when you get that call that you are aproved.

We have a court date!!! It's Friday morning at 9:30. So we'll know by lunchtime whether we get the baby or whether bmom decides to parent. The SW said she is still wavering back and forth daily, but the fact that there even IS a court date says something. I can't feel too glad though, knowing how hard this is on her.
post #19 of 92
Polli - congrats on the adoptions, soooo exciting. We are doing DSS, we just got our ongoing licensing social worker assigned last week, so we are close. I guess we just wait for a call after that.
post #20 of 92
I'm glad there's some light at the end of the tunnel now, Erin. I can't even begin to imagine the anticipation in the air in your home this week.

We attend our first meeting tonight!!! I am super excited and I have no idea how I am supposed to get anything done today. Luckily, I'm sure the 15 month old little boy I'm a nanny for will keep me super distracted in all this yucky rain we're having. I wish he were old enough to appreciate building a tent in the dining room hah.
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