I'm no expert - Can I still do this?

[Green Orchid]

How do you know you're qualified (are educated) enough to UC safely? I know I'm the person who knows my body best, and I trust my intuition, so that's not an issue. But how do I know that I know enough?

Here are some things I'm unsure about.

I know it's very common for the cord to be wrapped around baby's neck or some other member. Is it simple enough to unloop for dh or me to do it?

Dh and I don't have any training in infant ressuscitation. Considering I've had an uneventful pregnancy, had an fast and easy natural first birth and I have prenatal care with an OB, do you find it's still unsafe not to be prepared for the worst?

After the placenta comes out. How do I know there's no retained piece? I've only seen a real placenta once up close (not mine), will I be able to tell that it's complete?

PPH. Can I or dh easily spot it? I plan on doing a spill test on chux pads with dh soon, but will either of us be able to tell if I'm bleeding too much and need medical care?

I trust that this will be an uncomplicated birth and I'm willing to go the hospital (a natural birth friendly hospital) if I feel that something is off, but as I plan this UC, I want to know that I'm prepared enough. How do you know when you're all set?

[KristaDJ]

You know you're all set when you've addressed your fears/concerns and have peace. If you want to know something then look it up and make sure you know what to do. That information will be there if you need it during the birth.
Yes, unwrapping the cord is simple unless it is too tight but that is very rare. I had cord clamps and blunt nosed scissors on hand for this JIC but I've read that actually somersaulting the baby as it's born and keeping the head close to mom is the best thing to do.
You should be able to tell if a chunk is retained by looking at the placenta. If you are unsure some signs are milk not coming in or bad afterpains. I personally wouldn't worry about retained bits because I believe my body can expel them but I would watch for fever, abdominal pain or funky smell to let me know if there was an infection. I retained my placenta for 10hours and some of the membrane for 24hours. I took angelica to help expel it and vit c to stave off infection. I was fine and passed both at home.
PPH is more about how you feel than an amount of blood. One mama might loose four cups and be fine while one might lose two cups and go into shock. Have DH watch your color and just pay attention to how you feel. If you are blacking out or your pulse is racing that's not good. Make sure your uterus is firm and below your navel. If you don't feel good drink water, eat and get your feet up. Obviously if you are gushing blood and passing out call 911. You're not going to "not know' you are hemorrhaging. The danger of PPH is when a mom trusts a dr or mw instead of herself and THEY don't spot it.

[Nikki74]

I have no advice, but just wanted to say hi.

I think I recognise you from another forum, where my name was 'northstar'...

Hi

[Green Orchid]

Originally Posted by KristaDJ

You know you're all set when you've addressed your fears/concerns and have peace. If you want to know something then look it up and make sure you know what to do. That information will be there if you need it during the birth.
Yes, unwrapping the cord is simple unless it is too tight but that is very rare. I had cord clamps and blunt nosed scissors on hand for this JIC but I've read that actually somersaulting the baby as it's born and keeping the head close to mom is the best thing to do.
You should be able to tell if a chunk is retained by looking at the placenta. If you are unsure some signs are milk not coming in or bad afterpains. I personally wouldn't worry about retained bits because I believe my body can expel them but I would watch for fever, abdominal pain or funky smell to let me know if there was an infection. I retained my placenta for 10hours and some of the membrane for 24hours. I took angelica to help expel it and vit c to stave off infection. I was fine and passed both at home.
PPH is more about how you feel than an amount of blood. One mama might loose four cups and be fine while one might lose two cups and go into shock. Have DH watch your color and just pay attention to how you feel. If you are blacking out or your pulse is racing that's not good. Make sure your uterus is firm and below your navel. If you don't feel good drink water, eat and get your feet up. Obviously if you are gushing blood and passing out call 911. You're not going to "not know' you are hemorrhaging. The danger of PPH is when a mom trusts a dr or mw instead of herself and THEY don't spot it.

Thank you so much for your answer, it's so very useful!!

Originally Posted by Nikki74

I have no advice, but just wanted to say hi.

I think I recognise you from another forum, where my name was 'northstar'...

Hi

No kidding, I remember you too!

[HisBeautifulWife]

Originally Posted by Green Orchid

How do you know you're qualified (are educated) enough to UC safely?

For me, it's when I know the answers to all the "but what if..."

If there is a "what if" in my mind that I don't have the answer to, then that means I need to educate myself on it and DH as well.

The wonderful thing is there are so many books, videos, and resources that it's not really an issue to find the answers.

[Astraia]

Look at the UC resource sticky. There are TONS of books, websites and other information linked there.

When you know that you could answer an angry stranger- "but what if you bleed to death!" (or whatever) calmly and intelligently, you're good to go.

You should do some reading on infant resuc. (there are even videos on youtube for infant CPR- which isn't the same, but its SOMETHING). There are usually courses offered at community centers and st. johns ambulance and even local hospitals. Do some calling around. If you're scared, then learn it.

PPH- spill tests are good (there are links in the UC resources thread with someone who has already done the spill test). "They" say that 2 cups is considered PPH, but some people lose less then that and can go pale and weak and shocky. There are herbs to help control blood loss, also. Lots to read up about!


I've read enough that I'm at the point where my only 'what if' is the really horrible stuff that they wouldn't know about if he was born in hospital anyway- "what if my baby is born with some horrible disorder or disease that has gone completely undetected?" But even if I had a midwife present, if something like that happened our reaction would be the same: call 911.

[gillibean]

It was around this time three years ago when I first considered UC with my third child who was due that November. I purchased a couple books and researched a lot online and prepared well enough that I felt comfortable. I also made little posters/cheatsheets to put on our walls in case troubles arose. Having made those preparations helped me to relax and know that we'd be okay.

In my case, the birth went wonderfully. I'm so glad that I stayed home to UC. I'm glad that there were no complications but I felt comfortable that we had prepared well enough even if there had been. There are so many resources on the internet and my decision to UC is what eventually led me MDC.

[Nikki74]

Originally Posted by Green Orchid

Thank you so much for your answer, it's so very useful!!



No kidding, I remember you too!

Btw, congrats on your second pregnancy! I'm five weeks away from giving birth to baby no. 3.

Anyway, I'll bow out here as I don't want to derail your thread.

[gentlestrengths]

Originally Posted by HisBeautifulWife

For me, it's when I know the answers to all the "but what if..."

If there is a "what if" in my mind that I don't have the answer to, then that means I need to educate myself on it and DH as well.

The wonderful thing is there are so many books, videos, and resources that it's not really an issue to find the answers.

Personally, I don't think the "what if" is a good indication that you're ready for an unassisted because some people are naive, or uneducated in childbirth and wouldn't even know to ask "what if" in certain areas of labor or birth.

I think the best "question" is "Can I live with the worst possible outcome? Can I take responsibility for anything/everything that happens?"

I don't mean that the blame would necessarily be the parent(s) - there is a lot in childbirth that happens with or without good care or knowledgeable providers. But the best indication that someone is ready for an unassisted birth is if they feel they will be 100% satisfied they chose unassisted birth no matter what happens during that birth. I think looking at it this way helps parents look full circle at all possible situations and outcomes. Knowing how to handle a situation, actually handling the situation, and coming out on the negative side, or coming out the positive side of the situation are all important, but in my opinion, it is most important to know that if a situation comes up, and there is a bad outcome, will you be able to take the responsibility, or will you have wished you had had someone with experience there to help.

JMO!

[KristaDJ]

Originally Posted by gentlestrengths

Personally, I don't think the "what if" is a good indication that you're ready for an unassisted because some people are naive, or uneducated in childbirth and wouldn't even know to ask "what if" in certain areas of labor or birth.

I think the best "question" is "Can I live with the worst possible outcome? Can I take responsibility for anything/everything that happens?"

I don't mean that the blame would necessarily be the parent(s) - there is a lot in childbirth that happens with or without good care or knowledgeable providers. But the best indication that someone is ready for an unassisted birth is if they feel they will be 100% satisfied they chose unassisted birth no matter what happens during that birth. I think looking at it this way helps parents look full circle at all possible situations and outcomes. Knowing how to handle a situation, actually handling the situation, and coming out on the negative side, or coming out the positive side of the situation are all important, but in my opinion, it is most important to know that if a situation comes up, and there is a bad outcome, will you be able to take the responsibility, or will you have wished you had had someone with experience there to help.

JMO!

No matter where or how you birth you have to take responsibility for the outcome. If you let another person manage/attend your birth you are still responsible whether they help or muck it all up. I think it IS important to be prepared for any outcome but only because you should be prepared in any birth not because you might "wish there had been someone there to help". Honestly this sounds a little unfriendly to the idea of UC.

[gentlestrengths]

Originally Posted by KristaDJ

No matter where or how you birth you have to take responsibility for the outcome. If you let another person manage/attend your birth you are still responsible whether they help or muck it all up. I think it IS important to be prepared for any outcome but only because you should be prepared in any birth not because you might "wish there had been someone there to help". Honestly this sounds a little unfriendly to the idea of UC.

I totally agree that no matter where you give birth you need to take responsibility for the outcome - but not everyone thinks that way or that clearly about it. And I agree with you also that it is important to "be prepared for any outcome". The problem that arises there is that being prepared is completely different from successfully handling a situation that might arise - and many women DO wish someone else with more experience had been there to help.

I am sorry if that sounds "unfriendly" toward unassisted childbirthing. I believe women should give birth however they see fit, whether it is with every intervention known to mankind or at home free from professional help. My own 4th birth was done completely unassisted. How could I be "unfriendly" toward the idea, and yet do it myself?

[HisBeautifulWife]

For me, if I don't know what "what if's" to ask then I am not ready for a UC. If I am uneducated about childbirth then not only am I not ready to give birth period- then I am definitely not ready for a UC.

These are the standards I hold myself to, I'd never enforce them on anyone else. But whether I give birth in a hospital, with a midwife, or a UC- I am going to be informed and not just rely on someone else to tell me. That's just how I am. I take advice and guidance but I always verify and do my own research.

Outcomes don't come into the picture for me in this decision because it doesn't matter where I give birth or how- I am still responsible. I am still responsible for knowing what's going on and knowing about the process that I am about to go through. And for me, worrying about bad outcomes is not limited to a UC situation. If I am going to focus on that, then I have to focus on it for all situations- which I'd rather not. I don't deny the possibilities, but it's not something I am going to dwell on.

That's just what works for me.

Originally Posted by gentlestrengths

Personally, I don't think the "what if" is a good indication that you're ready for an unassisted because some people are naive, or uneducated in childbirth and wouldn't even know to ask "what if" in certain areas of labor or birth.

[KristaDJ]

Originally Posted by gentlestrengths

I totally agree that no matter where you give birth you need to take responsibility for the outcome - but not everyone thinks that way or that clearly about it. And I agree with you also that it is important to "be prepared for any outcome". The problem that arises there is that being prepared is completely different from successfully handling a situation that might arise - and many women DO wish someone else with more experience had been there to help.

I am sorry if that sounds "unfriendly" toward unassisted childbirthing. I believe women should give birth however they see fit, whether it is with every intervention known to mankind or at home free from professional help. My own 4th birth was done completely unassisted. How could I be "unfriendly" toward the idea, and yet do it myself?

I've never read a UC story where a mama wished someone had been there to help and I've read TONS of them. I get what you are saying your first post just sounded to me like a condescending view of UC like "it'll be your fault if something goes wrong." And that irks me because, like you said, most people don't see the responsibility they have to their baby no matter how they birth and many people *feel better* trying to pass that responsibility to someone else.