Lillian Josephine
9-30-09
4:45 pm
5 lbs 5 oz
18 inches long
The day after the doctor stripped my membranes (which I will never have done again), I set out and did the chores I needed to, taking paperwork to places and such. I felt fine, there was no bleeding and I only had mild cervix pain. No contractions. I came home around noon and made lunch for my fiance, so that he could go to work at one. While making his sandwich, I started to feel horrible. I just wanted to sit down...I finished what I was doing and told him...it's going to be today or tomorrow and he made a joke saying that that is what I said a couple weeks ago. Little did he know...
He left at one, so I sat on the couch and had my own sandwich and just felt like watching some tv. At 1:30 I had my first contraction of the day and it felt horrible! I felt immediate relief after it and it reminded me of the contractions I had when I had my first daughter. Ten minutes later I had another one, and ten minutes after that. At two I decided to go to contractionmaster.com and start timing them. They were so intense I started to moan a little during them. After I started the very first log on contractionmaster they immediately jumped up to 3-4 minutes apart and were about 45 seconds long. I was really reallllly started to moan through them and it took me until about 2:30 to convince myself that maybe....just maybe I was really in labor and should call my fiance to come home.
Matt arrived home around 2:40 and in a blur and a rush he had everything packed into the car. I had planned on laboring at home for awhile, because I knew I was going to hate being in the hospital. When I told him I wanted to jump in the shower, the look on his face told me otherwise, and the contractions that were two minutes apart and building in intensity led me to believe that maybe we wouldn't MAKE it to the hospital. I had a contraction and then got up to get my phone charger, I didn't make it there, I had to stop and contract again. So then I walked to the bathroom to grab toothbrushes, and couldn't make it there. Matt hustled me to the car.
We arrived at the hospital at three. There was no emergency room parking, so we had to double back. I was just going to have him drop me off at the front. We had a quick funny moment when I was contracting and there was a huge speed-bump...and I said, "DO NOT GO OVER THAT SPEED BUMP!" So he stopped and let me finish the contraction before he did. It wasn't funny then, but I think it's hilarious now. He pulled up to the front of the ER and I got out while he squealed the tires to find a parking spot. Again, didn't make it to the doors and had to lean on a pillar while trying to walk in. There were some older ladies out front on a bench and they just about had heart attacks trying to get me into a wheelchair. Matt got there just as they were wheeling me in...
I couldn't talk as they were checking me in at the front. One lady realized the seriousness of what was going on, after all I was moaning so loudly that for sure a baby was on it's way! So she whisks me off to the elevator with Matt at my side. Finally...on a way to a room.
But no. Apparently the lady checking me into the ER started to fill out paperwork instead of "sending me to ob", which is what they told us that we should have asked for instead of not asking. HELLO? I'm VERY pregnant and about to give birth...you would think no words would be necessary! So...they wheel me back to ask me admit questions and take my blood pressure. I can't answer any of the questions they are asking me I am bellowing at this point.
Finally we are on our way and reach the maternity ward. I'm REALLY bellowing....loudly and the contractions are so so close that I can't answer questions. The lady at the maternity desk can't figure out how to spell my name (didn't we preregister for this crap?!?) But the other lady who was pushing me in the wheelchair says...look...she needs to go to a room...NOW.
They put me in the farthest room from the waiting room, a sign perhaps? Or just that I am bellowing so loudly they know they have a loud one on their hands? I get the gown on and into the bed and they strap me to the machine to monitor heart rates and contractions. They check me and I am dilated to 4 (could it be...really? It felt like so much more!). At this point it's about 3:20, 3:30. Laying in the bed and knowing what was going to happen put it all into perspective for me and I feel like the contractions evened out, they didn't get any less intense and I still was bellowing, but they were on an even keel. I contracted and answered their million questions as best I could until 4. At 4 I asked if I could go pee, and I was able to. I did have to stop and contract near the window, but I was able to empty my bladder and get back in bed. The nurses asked if I wanted the epidural and sticking to my guns (even though I so needed some relief) I said no. The nurses left Matt and I alone.
Around 4 I threw up. I threw up and threw up and threw up. I emptied myself. It didn't feel any better either. And the stench of vomit was annoying.
At this point of the story I go into laborland. Some of this might be innaccurate or just what I remember, and what was told to me later. I do know that my stepmom and sister came by and gave Matt a coffee. They asked if they could bring my daughter in, and I said yes...but only between contractions. I'm still bellowing through them and I don't want to scare her. As told to me by my stepmom, they were coming back down the hall with my daughter Trinity, and they could hear me screaming, "I HAVE TO PUSH NOW!!!" She decided they better turn back.
I remember saying I have to poop like twenty times...and the nurse showed up and checked me and told me I was dilated to a six.....REALLY? A SIX? But I really was feeling it....I couldn't be a six...something was wrong, or was it?
It must have been 4-5 minutes after she told me I was a six that I was yelling at her and Matt that I needed the baby out NOW and so she checked me again...during a contraction this time...(whew...! OW!). The nurse informed us I was a 9 and that is when or about a minute or two before my OB came in the room.
I started screaming. Bloodcurdling screams....the OB checked me...what seemed like seconds after the nurse had....I was a ten and ready to go. I am still screaming like a dying animal at this point. When I was catching my breath they told me that in order to push the baby out I would need to focus that energy lower and it would help to not scream.
Or not. I focused my energy lower and low and behold....when a baby crowns it doesn't feel so good. I started to thrash and completely lost control. Where were my screams? The only thing I could control? The baby slipped back and it seemed like everyone told me to stop thrashing at once. There were so many voices, I started to panic...and then....Matt says in a low, deep voice, "Hey, Dessie. You need to stop panicking and push the baby out. Do not thrash, I have you right here."
Matt tells that part so sternly, but all I remember is being able to focus on his eyes and his low tones. The nurse and doctors shut up while he was talking to me and I was able to gather the strength and energy from him to just do it.
In a matter of seconds, the next contraction hit and I focused and started to roar lowly, my bag of waters bulging, the doctor snipped it open and it was such a relief! Only that relief would be replaced with the ring of fire. It seemed to last so long, yet I know it was only seconds. My eyes were closed and I was roaring like a momma lioness, and Lillian was born. It felt so good. Right afterward was such an intense relief, that I actually sighed and said, "Oh, that feels so much better!" They placed our baby on my stomach. I don't remember saying anything, yet I'm sure I was talking to her. Matt was crying and holding us both and right there to witness his daughters first breath. As we were holding her I must have delivered the placenta. They took the baby (Matt followed) to wrap her up really quickly and clean her throat and nose out and gave her straight back.
At this point, the doctor was cleaning me up. I asked if I tore and she said no. Everyone kept telling me how well I did.
Lillian was born at 4:45 into the loving arms of two parents who will cherish her and this experience for the rest of our lives.
FAST FORWARD...so here I am...having not slept in dayssssss...finally able to get on here and post my story. Lillian was small for her gestational age, but there is nothing wrong with her. I am going through a little bit of self-doubt that maybe I did something wrong when I was pregnant and that is why she is so small...she was born at 39 weeks plus 5 and is 5.5 pounds. My milk hasn't come in yet and I'm anxiously awaiting it. I can tell she is hungry.
I just want to enjoy this babymoon instead of worrying...but that is for another post. She is here and is perfect!
http://redding.mercy.org/Patients_An...Id=16685&nsw=d Hospital says 12:45 pm but...it was really 4:45..!
9-30-09
4:45 pm
5 lbs 5 oz
18 inches long
The day after the doctor stripped my membranes (which I will never have done again), I set out and did the chores I needed to, taking paperwork to places and such. I felt fine, there was no bleeding and I only had mild cervix pain. No contractions. I came home around noon and made lunch for my fiance, so that he could go to work at one. While making his sandwich, I started to feel horrible. I just wanted to sit down...I finished what I was doing and told him...it's going to be today or tomorrow and he made a joke saying that that is what I said a couple weeks ago. Little did he know...
He left at one, so I sat on the couch and had my own sandwich and just felt like watching some tv. At 1:30 I had my first contraction of the day and it felt horrible! I felt immediate relief after it and it reminded me of the contractions I had when I had my first daughter. Ten minutes later I had another one, and ten minutes after that. At two I decided to go to contractionmaster.com and start timing them. They were so intense I started to moan a little during them. After I started the very first log on contractionmaster they immediately jumped up to 3-4 minutes apart and were about 45 seconds long. I was really reallllly started to moan through them and it took me until about 2:30 to convince myself that maybe....just maybe I was really in labor and should call my fiance to come home.
Matt arrived home around 2:40 and in a blur and a rush he had everything packed into the car. I had planned on laboring at home for awhile, because I knew I was going to hate being in the hospital. When I told him I wanted to jump in the shower, the look on his face told me otherwise, and the contractions that were two minutes apart and building in intensity led me to believe that maybe we wouldn't MAKE it to the hospital. I had a contraction and then got up to get my phone charger, I didn't make it there, I had to stop and contract again. So then I walked to the bathroom to grab toothbrushes, and couldn't make it there. Matt hustled me to the car.
We arrived at the hospital at three. There was no emergency room parking, so we had to double back. I was just going to have him drop me off at the front. We had a quick funny moment when I was contracting and there was a huge speed-bump...and I said, "DO NOT GO OVER THAT SPEED BUMP!" So he stopped and let me finish the contraction before he did. It wasn't funny then, but I think it's hilarious now. He pulled up to the front of the ER and I got out while he squealed the tires to find a parking spot. Again, didn't make it to the doors and had to lean on a pillar while trying to walk in. There were some older ladies out front on a bench and they just about had heart attacks trying to get me into a wheelchair. Matt got there just as they were wheeling me in...
I couldn't talk as they were checking me in at the front. One lady realized the seriousness of what was going on, after all I was moaning so loudly that for sure a baby was on it's way! So she whisks me off to the elevator with Matt at my side. Finally...on a way to a room.
But no. Apparently the lady checking me into the ER started to fill out paperwork instead of "sending me to ob", which is what they told us that we should have asked for instead of not asking. HELLO? I'm VERY pregnant and about to give birth...you would think no words would be necessary! So...they wheel me back to ask me admit questions and take my blood pressure. I can't answer any of the questions they are asking me I am bellowing at this point.
Finally we are on our way and reach the maternity ward. I'm REALLY bellowing....loudly and the contractions are so so close that I can't answer questions. The lady at the maternity desk can't figure out how to spell my name (didn't we preregister for this crap?!?) But the other lady who was pushing me in the wheelchair says...look...she needs to go to a room...NOW.
They put me in the farthest room from the waiting room, a sign perhaps? Or just that I am bellowing so loudly they know they have a loud one on their hands? I get the gown on and into the bed and they strap me to the machine to monitor heart rates and contractions. They check me and I am dilated to 4 (could it be...really? It felt like so much more!). At this point it's about 3:20, 3:30. Laying in the bed and knowing what was going to happen put it all into perspective for me and I feel like the contractions evened out, they didn't get any less intense and I still was bellowing, but they were on an even keel. I contracted and answered their million questions as best I could until 4. At 4 I asked if I could go pee, and I was able to. I did have to stop and contract near the window, but I was able to empty my bladder and get back in bed. The nurses asked if I wanted the epidural and sticking to my guns (even though I so needed some relief) I said no. The nurses left Matt and I alone.
Around 4 I threw up. I threw up and threw up and threw up. I emptied myself. It didn't feel any better either. And the stench of vomit was annoying.
At this point of the story I go into laborland. Some of this might be innaccurate or just what I remember, and what was told to me later. I do know that my stepmom and sister came by and gave Matt a coffee. They asked if they could bring my daughter in, and I said yes...but only between contractions. I'm still bellowing through them and I don't want to scare her. As told to me by my stepmom, they were coming back down the hall with my daughter Trinity, and they could hear me screaming, "I HAVE TO PUSH NOW!!!" She decided they better turn back.
I remember saying I have to poop like twenty times...and the nurse showed up and checked me and told me I was dilated to a six.....REALLY? A SIX? But I really was feeling it....I couldn't be a six...something was wrong, or was it?
It must have been 4-5 minutes after she told me I was a six that I was yelling at her and Matt that I needed the baby out NOW and so she checked me again...during a contraction this time...(whew...! OW!). The nurse informed us I was a 9 and that is when or about a minute or two before my OB came in the room.
I started screaming. Bloodcurdling screams....the OB checked me...what seemed like seconds after the nurse had....I was a ten and ready to go. I am still screaming like a dying animal at this point. When I was catching my breath they told me that in order to push the baby out I would need to focus that energy lower and it would help to not scream.
Or not. I focused my energy lower and low and behold....when a baby crowns it doesn't feel so good. I started to thrash and completely lost control. Where were my screams? The only thing I could control? The baby slipped back and it seemed like everyone told me to stop thrashing at once. There were so many voices, I started to panic...and then....Matt says in a low, deep voice, "Hey, Dessie. You need to stop panicking and push the baby out. Do not thrash, I have you right here."
Matt tells that part so sternly, but all I remember is being able to focus on his eyes and his low tones. The nurse and doctors shut up while he was talking to me and I was able to gather the strength and energy from him to just do it.
In a matter of seconds, the next contraction hit and I focused and started to roar lowly, my bag of waters bulging, the doctor snipped it open and it was such a relief! Only that relief would be replaced with the ring of fire. It seemed to last so long, yet I know it was only seconds. My eyes were closed and I was roaring like a momma lioness, and Lillian was born. It felt so good. Right afterward was such an intense relief, that I actually sighed and said, "Oh, that feels so much better!" They placed our baby on my stomach. I don't remember saying anything, yet I'm sure I was talking to her. Matt was crying and holding us both and right there to witness his daughters first breath. As we were holding her I must have delivered the placenta. They took the baby (Matt followed) to wrap her up really quickly and clean her throat and nose out and gave her straight back.
At this point, the doctor was cleaning me up. I asked if I tore and she said no. Everyone kept telling me how well I did.
Lillian was born at 4:45 into the loving arms of two parents who will cherish her and this experience for the rest of our lives.
FAST FORWARD...so here I am...having not slept in dayssssss...finally able to get on here and post my story. Lillian was small for her gestational age, but there is nothing wrong with her. I am going through a little bit of self-doubt that maybe I did something wrong when I was pregnant and that is why she is so small...she was born at 39 weeks plus 5 and is 5.5 pounds. My milk hasn't come in yet and I'm anxiously awaiting it. I can tell she is hungry.
I just want to enjoy this babymoon instead of worrying...but that is for another post. She is here and is perfect!
http://redding.mercy.org/Patients_An...Id=16685&nsw=d Hospital says 12:45 pm but...it was really 4:45..!
Speed bumps are HORRIBLE during a contraction!!
What a cute little teeny girl Lillian is! Soooo cute! 
You did an awesome job growing & birthing her, mama. 
She's so tiny and so beautiful. Congratulations!! 
