But that's the thing (and yes, I'm bad not to move to the new thread). Do you really think she looked at the issue as thoroughly as you did? Or did she just not do any critical thinking and follow whatever path her particular doctor recommended? To me, that seems to lead to defensive thinking and lashing out. I'm not saying everyone who makes a different decision didn't look at the issue clearly, but most people who make non-mainstream decisions have thought about them a lot more.
Interesting case in point: we celebrate Halloween with trick-or-treating, but just recently I learned a new friend with kids the same age doesn't celebrate Halloween, I think for religious reasons. I've been vaguely aware that some Christians don't ToT, but I always have, and I can't say that I've thought about it a whole lot--bet she's put a lot more thought into it than I have. But reasonable adults (lately I've been shocked at how few are out there) are okay with making different decisions, and I'm okay with not deeply analyzing whether ToT is compatible with Christianity--it's fun and I'm okay with it, and I'm obviously fine with her _not_ being okay with it.
And hey, just because you haven't finished and gotten your good results, doesn't mean your work is less worthy. You've had a seriously tricky problem to figure out, and you've got a lot of pieces now, but it's still a lot more than the stereotypical kid with EIs who could be basically fine just without milk. It IS hard when you can't say "Hey, look how wonderful my kids are, I put in a lot of hard work to get us here" because it's harder for people to visualize how your situation could be so much worse if you hadn't put in the hard work. Kid on three daily pharmaceutical drugs, and still with behavior issues?