Nanny troubles...

[handsandfeet]

I am trying to decide if we need to look for a different nanny... ours recently came back to work after having a baby of her own, and the last few weeks I am seeing some things I don't like about her own parenting, which is also making me question how she is with my DS. She lets her 6 week old cry and cry alone in a room. I don't know exactly how long, but DH is home sometimes when she's there and says "a long time." He said he hasn't seen her do that with DS (I specifically told her when we hired her that we do NOT belive in cry-it-out), so I thought she was neglecting her own kid to deal with mine. I also look at her internet history each day and she has been spending a lot of time on Babywise sites, which explains why she's treating her son so badly. Anyway, she leaves a summary at the end of each week, and this past week she says that she left DS in his crib alone for naps so that he would learn to "self-soothe." OMG I wanted to scream when I read that!!! He is NOT easy to get down for naps, and would definitely have been crying, which makes my heart break. She knows I am against that method. So I wrote her a long email this morning explaining why I am against CIO and that I don't want her to do that with DS, to never let him cry alone, etc.

Even if she says "okay" to all that, I am now left with a sour taste in my mouth and think that I don't want to have a nanny who has such different parenting philosophies than we do. Is it even possible to find an AP-friendly nanny?? Should I let this one go?

[Paxjourney]

I think sending the first email was good. When I first read your post i thought maybe the nanny might have some ppd having just given birth, but then i read the fact that she has been reading up on babywise. Perhaps she is just trying to learn about other parenting models. I think its good that you have stated what your expectations are in her care with your child. As for looking for a more ap friendly nanny if you decided to interview new nannies ask about their parenting style or if they are aware of what ap is.

We lucked out with our first nanny when I was in school when DD1 was a baby she was a fellow ap mom and it was great knowing my daughter was being worn down for naps, snuggled and loved etc.

Hope you have a sitiuation that works for you in the end. Good Luck

[handsandfeet]

Thank you for your reponse -- it turns out that our decision was made for us -- after she received my email she emailed back with her notice. I have definitely learned a lesson -- to not only let my philosophies be known, but to learn the nanny's as well, to determine if the fit is right! If I had known from the start that she was a believer in Babywise, I would never have hired her. And that may be why she appeared so neutral at the beginning... to get the job!