* Bitter Sushi Ladies ~ October * - Page 11

[jillc512]

I just happened to sneak into the thread while avoiding work , and I'm so glad I did so I can tell Lisko

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! That is so awesome!!!

to you all! Off to read more of the thread...

[enigo]

Woooooooooooooo! Lisko!!!!!!!!!!

Triplets at 45, man I'm tired just thinking about it. I have had an awful day with my 3yr old son. We have both been obnoxious, (He started itttttttttt!!!!)
but I really think he's trying to break me. I've been under a lot of stress, and I just can not. keep. it. together.

After he threw a toy at me while I was on the phone (Just got on the phone, wasn't like I was on for an hour) I took him in his room to talk to him. Then I noticed he had pulled all the vertical blinds down in his room. Off the track on the floor...again...Sighhh. Then he told me dad was nice and I was mean. (Why I oughta...)

I just got him down for a nap (for his own protection) I need to go for a swim in the pool, or at least go dunk my head. I feel like such a lousy mother for yelling at him all day. I usually can keep it together so much better than this.

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by enigo

Woooooooooooooo! Lisko!!!!!!!!!!

Triplets at 45, man I'm tired just thinking about it. I have had an awful day with my 3yr old son. We have both been obnoxious, (He started itttttttttt!!!!)
but I really think he's trying to break me. I've been under a lot of stress, and I just can not. keep. it. together.

After he threw a toy at me while I was on the phone (Just got on the phone, wasn't like I was on for an hour) I took him in his room to talk to him. Then I noticed he had pulled all the vertical blinds down in his room. Off the track on the floor...again...Sighhh. Then he told me dad was nice and I was mean. (Why I oughta...)

I just got him down for a nap (for his own protection) I need to go for a swim in the pool, or at least go dunk my head. I feel like such a lousy mother for yelling at him all day. I usually can keep it together so much better than this.

Some days...

I do not so much mind the days where one is yelling that Im a bad mommy and one is hugging me and telling me Im a good mommy... I cherish the days they both are telling me Im a good mommy.... its those days where they are both against me that make me wonder if I really am a bad mommy.

Then I have to remind myself that I used to think the same of my parents for no-good-reason but my mom was a GREAT mommy. Its childhood. It sucks to go through it again on the other end when dealing with this...

The best I can suggest is sometime when he is in a youre-the-best-mommy mood... get out some craft supplies and make something together that shows how much you appreciate each other. He wont get much out of it til he is older... but every time you have a day like today you can look at it and remember this is the temporary... and the love is still there.

[LZP]

Originally Posted by enigo

Woooooooooooooo! Lisko!!!!!!!!!!

Triplets at 45, man I'm tired just thinking about it. I have had an awful day with my 3yr old son. We have both been obnoxious, (He started itttttttttt!!!!)
but I really think he's trying to break me. I've been under a lot of stress, and I just can not. keep. it. together.

After he threw a toy at me while I was on the phone (Just got on the phone, wasn't like I was on for an hour) I took him in his room to talk to him. Then I noticed he had pulled all the vertical blinds down in his room. Off the track on the floor...again...Sighhh. Then he told me dad was nice and I was mean. (Why I oughta...)

I just got him down for a nap (for his own protection) I need to go for a swim in the pool, or at least go dunk my head. I feel like such a lousy mother for yelling at him all day. I usually can keep it together so much better than this.

You are SO not a lousy mama!!! You are under alot of stress... and sometimes that comes out when we're least prepared to deal, and control our anger.frustration.sadness... You being stressed means that you might make some choices that, when not under stress, you'd never make. And even if he's being a little pistol, he still loves you- and probably wont remember how "mean" you were after nap time! take that dip in the pool, and be nice to yourself this afternoon while little godzilla sleeps.

[enigo]

I know this sounds awful, but my own mom was not a very good mom. I worry so much every day about him feeling like that about me. I probably put extra pressure on myself scared I'll end up like her.

In fact, not to get going on another rant, I just found out that she has been telling everyone at work about my mc. I just told her about it the other day and she has already alerted everyone she works with. These people don't even know me and have no business knowing anything about my life.

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

the problem with the last three pregnancies i have had horrible morning sickness for up to the entire pregnancy... and I REALLY want to be able to enjoy the wedding as much as I can without feeling hungover.


Man if his roommate had his way though:

hmmmm well... maybe you will get lucky and not have morning sickness! haha. Honestly though, I would get the paper marriage just to get the insurance for you and your children all set up and speed up the adoption process. Things work SLOW in the army and hopefully they will pick up the price of your move, etc. if you are married before his orders come for his next duty station. I can't believe I am advocating this either, I am usually the one that says, why not just wait? LOL. I know how the damn army works though.

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by enigo

In fact, not to get going on another rant, I just found out that she has been telling everyone at work about my mc. I just told her about it the other day and she has already alerted everyone she works with. These people don't even know me and have no business knowing anything about my life.

I am sorry... I think that would be very frustrating, especially with something so deep and personal and painful.

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by Lauren31

hmmmm well... maybe you will get lucky and not have morning sickness! haha. Honestly though, I would get the paper marriage just to get the insurance for you and your children all set up and speed up the adoption process. Things work SLOW in the army and hopefully they will pick up the price of your move, etc. if you are married before his orders come for his next duty station. I can't believe I am advocating this either, I am usually the one that says, why not just wait? LOL. I know how the damn army works though.

Well... their father is not giving up rights without a fight... in other words I just have to stop contacting him other than for court matters and in a year or two we can have the courts take his parental rights away anyway.

(Dont read into this wrong... he NEVER talks to the children unless I call him and ask him to. I quit doing this in June because my son actually asked why his father never calls us and I have to force him to talk to them)

[Tear78]

Originally Posted by enigo

(He started itttttttttt!!!!)

: omg enigo, thanks for that. After a 13 1/2 hour day ending with 9 parent conferences, I needed a laugh. Seriously, though, I'm sorry you had such a rough day. you're dealing with so much right now, and I know you're being a great mom through it all. And that's so frustrating that your mom is sharing your personal difficulties with her coworkers. I'm sorry.

And lisko, my prenatals have zinc in them. Were you taking extras on TOP of that? I'm gonna get acidophilus, I used to take that. I have similar issues.

LZP, I'm sorry about the bfn. Stay cool, lady, stay cool. You can make it. Remember? We're gonna go into the DDCs together: you go first!

jill and for 12 weeks!!!!! We miss you!!!

ok, I'm lame, I know, but I MUST sleep. (see aforementioned 13 1/2 hour marathon work day...NOT including commute). Good night!

[MaerynPearl]

TEAR - I thought of you today... DS asked me for the crayons and a sheet of orange construction paper. Took them to his room and came back out to inform me that orange is his teachers favorite color and tomorrow is her birthday so he made her a card telling her she is a great teacher.

[YummyYumYumMama]

OH EM GEE this is why i need to not lurk.

rhiannon: sticky vibes!!!

lisko: oh, i am SO SO happy to read that! i wish i hadn't seen it in your siggy when i was catching up - kinda spoiled the "fun," you know? lol... seriously though, this news made me feel so great.

lauren: yay, a girl! (either way i would have said yay, but oh well.) at DD's ultrasound, i researched what genitalia look like on u/s for like a week before and took a bunch of online quizzes, and i made the woman point out the labia lines. (she flinched when i said labia. i was like, dude, you're a medical type, you can't handle the word LABIA?)

enigo: holy crap, have you been through the wringer! i am so sorry about all this. every child takes out their frustration on the people who love them most, and considering how much you have been through i am sure he picks up on the stress and doesn't know how else to deal with it. be gentle with yourself. you are so not a bad mommy! what can you do when life is crazy? you all have to express the feelings you have, and you will have so many more lovey mommy days to make up for this. and i agree that you should look into finding a new healthcare provider... that is so not okay. everyone makes mistakes, sure, but it sounds like you've been treated really poorly, which is exactly the opposite of what they should be doing for you, especially right now.

liz: if your CM data is pretty accurate, i'd guess you're about 12 dpo, which would fit with your prior charts. i would feel unable to "move on" as well... to you. i can totally understand how hard it is to make your life not about TTC. if i had to decide, firmly, that i was done, i don't know how i would handle it. i do believe your time is coming, even though it has been such a long time coming. we know you can get pregnant, which is a point in your favor even though i'm sure it doesn't feel like one... now you just have to get there again, and stay there. and i truly believe that you will. and i think it's great to do whatever you can to enjoy life as it is RIGHT NOW and not stress as much about it.

tear: that last part totally goes for you as well - not the 12 dpo part, but that i can't imagine how hard this has all been for you, and that i DO believe that your time will come. again, we know you can get pregnant, and we know that the progesterone is going to help that baby stick, so it WILL happen for you. it sucks to have to continue to just be patient and wait it out when it's what you want so badly, and it's so not fair, and i wish that nobody had to go through that ache. it's just not fair. congratulations, though, on becoming an aunt, and about all the difficulty involved with that.

maeryn: that is SO exciting that DF is coming back SO SOON. you must be ready to burst with excitement about seeing him! i can't imagine waiting so long to just begin this new phase of your life together - but you guys sound like such a sweet match and i'm so happy that it is just a couple measly weeks away.

beloved: i really empathize with you in terms of your back-and-forth on TTC, especially when taking into account your current life situation and your DH's feelings on it. it can be so obvious and easy sometimes to be rational about it and know that whatever happens, happens... but when that emotional response comes in and you just truly don't know how to feel, and you are sad about it not happening again and having to go through the uncertainty about what you truly want another month, it is just so difficult. but that's awesome news about the insurance coming in to cover a whole bunch of stuff!

OH GOD i didn't mean to write personals at all; i have been getting so little sleep and all the billions of medical people i see each week (okay, 4, but it feels like billions since my weeks are so full of frigging appointments) are ready to throttle me for not utilizing the restorative value of sleep to my benefit at a time where i really need it. so i just will send a quick to everyone else and a hello to the newbies. but i can't not ramble about myself, since i have nowhere else to really blather on and on about this.....

afm: I AM IN A TWO WEEK WAIT AGAIN BABY! YEAH! FF says i'm 3 dpo, which i agree with. : what is WITH me always f**king up my temp taking right around O time? anyway, whatever, i'm not gonna worry about it. this is probably the most laid-back i have ever felt about babies, ever. (let's see how i am in a week...) i realized how much tension i store in my abdomen/uterus when i'm thinking about it, so i very consciously have been trying to relax that area and it is much easier. maybe that lack of tension will trigger something? also, i wouldn't mind NOT being pregnant this month since i'd be due 3 weeks before DH, DD and i have to be in an out-of-state wedding. so my thought is, the inconvenience combined with the conscious muscle relaxing MUST improve my odds somehow, right? OH, plus i haven't really gotten to use my OPKs that are just sitting in the bathroom, so i think that ups the odds too. and i bought a keeper this summer. it's like the equivalent of white pants for AF, ya know? right? maybe? ooh, maybe i should buy like 7 years worth of FF or something like that; i bet that'd do it! it was like pulling teeth (wrt DH and my spine) to get to a place where i can have sperm and an egg in me at the same time, though, so that counts against me. in my own crazed view of what jinxes you and what doesn't.

DH is still being kind of contradictory about all this stuff, but whatever. we tried 1 of the 2 condoms and i had a horrific reaction that just would not quit, so earlier this week when we were both in the mood i told him that we would have to abstain since i wasn't willing to use the condom. i couldn't remember where i was in my cycle (what bliss - pre O anyway!) so i told him that there would definitely be a chance, but the chances of not conceiving are ALWAYS higher and it's kind of just a crapshoot anyway because hell, some people get pregnant using condoms AND the pill, so statistics can only tell you so much. so he was like, whatever, let's go for it, and FF says i O'd the next day. and he's totally fine and chill about it, and said that he'd be happy to have another baby. i think he thinks it won't happen. so i think that improves my odds of it happening as well. he'd still like to try the other condom brand so that if this cycle is a wash, he at least knows if there is SOME sort of easy and convenient non-vagina-angering condom we can use if he gets super cold feet... but if it doesn't work, he will give up, because he is not so opposed to pregnancy that he would have me jump through all these hoops to avoid when they're either physically or mentally difficult for me. a baby would be a happy thing even if it's stressful/hectic, whereas recurrent vaginal infections/irritations really have nothing going for them. OH, and other good news: i had my follow-up ultrasound this week due to my cyst in july, and it is all cleared up! and my endometrium looks nice as well (i asked because she wrote down 1.15 as the level which is SUPER LOW for this point in your cycle, but it was actually 11.5 which is good), so IF there is a zygote in me that would like to be an extremely inconveniently-timed baby, it's got a nice cozy place to implant.

also? i have been having tons of friends announce pregnancies, left and right. two of them were basically like, "don't congratulate me, i don't even know how to feel about this." and whatever - i mean, you need to feel how you feel, and having gone through an unplanned pregnancy myself i know that it's mentally jarring and requires adjustment, but still. just so not what i was in the mood to hear. plus, i never asked to not be congratulated or felt BAD about it - i was surprised and shocked and not sure how we'd manage, but i was HAPPY, so i just cannot relate to that. anyway, i think there is an epidemic of pregnant friends lately around here.

oh, and for halloween i am thinking i will go the lazy route and just wear some of my dressy indian clothes. that's the nice thing about being ethnic; you always have several back-up costumes in your closet that your mom and grandma and aunties are bugging you to wear more often.

well, there you go, another novel from me - and nearly in time for NaNoWriMo!

[enigo]

Let me just say you guys are all so awesome I don't what I'd do without you! I mean who else would be a captive audience to all my issues?

Next time you feel like Googling fertility enhancing substances. Check out Wheat grass juice and Spirulina. You'll freak.
I happened to read an an article on wheatgrass juice a month ago or so, but I was pregnant...so I just skimmed through it. (I also thought I might try the Clomid prescription I didn't get a chance to use, but realized I threw that away too when I got pregnant )

So anyway, wheatgrass juice and Spirulina will be my new "thing" when we are trying again. Among all the others. Worst case I will be healthy either way.

Here's an interesting tidbit. I recently connected with my bestest bud from high school on Facebook (That's like a hundred years ago). She has two kids now and had 2 mc's between the two of them. So I had someone to talk to a bit about everything last night. She has a 5 yr old boy, so I got a little insight on my 3 yr old son.
I hadn't even told anyone besides my husband and one friend IRL I was preg, so in that way it has been loads easier to not be reminded constantly. I even forget it myself. Last time was a mess, for 6 months after the first mc, I would run into people who didn't know and they would say something and remind me.

[Nanette56]

Enigo OMG I DID google wheatgrass the other day! I'm planning on getting some when I go out to buy my zinc, but the only place I know of that sells it is the smoothie place. I'll have to look at the health food store and see what they have. As for your 3 y/o, we've all been there girl. You're definitely not a bad mom. Bad moms definitely do not worry about whether or not they're bad moms.Our children are just so incredibly SMART that they know exactly what button to push to get the reaction they want! It seems like the more reaction they get from you, the more they like to use it. As for the friend you found on FB, I'm glad you found someone to talk to about TTC IRL. It's so hard IRL sometimes when there's no one you can turn to.

YYYM *SQUEE!* Yay for no condoms! And this cycle- There does seem to be an epidemic of pregnant friends, not to mention endless baby showers, where you're forced to go into the damn baby aisles every single freakin' weekend to pick out booties, and receiving blankets...etc. *Deep breath* And I'm glad you stick around here- it cheers me up

Tear WOW. What a day- Parent conferences are stressful enough, and a 13 and a half hour day on top of that?! CRAZY! Hopefully you have some fun relaxing stuff planned for this weekend? You sound like you need it!

Mae Dealing with a client having that problem with the child's father not wanting to give them up- even though he's sitting in jail, and didn't visit them when he was out! It's sad, because if he gave them up- even temporarily they'd have better insurance coverage Some people are so selfish. I hope your ex sees reason

AFM- Just had something I wanted to share. So I hadn't told my mom about TTC- at all. Hadn't mentioned it at all. It's been like a great weight hanging over me. At first I didn't want to tell her because I wanted it to be a surprise when I got pregnant. Then, after I'd been trying a while, I didn't want to tell her because I got worried that she wouldn't want to help watch another grandchild (my parents are getting up there and they watch our son every afternoon after school until we get home at 5), though I will likely work a good portion from home if and when the second one comes. So DH mentioned to me the other day- "every time we talk to your mother she talks about so-and-so's baby, or so-and-so getting PG, what's up with that?" (He's been wanting me to tell her) And I figure, she's just making conversation right? So this morning, on the phone with her, she starts talking to me about Discovery Health, and how they had this show where they followed pregnant women, and women TTC and women with miscarriages around, and it was really cool, etc. etc. And finally she says- when are you going to have another baby? You should start trying now while you still have me. I just started sobbing, and I told her we'd been trying and trying, and I have an appointment with the RE- and it all just came spilling out. And she's like- why didn't you just tell me?! You could have talked to me about it! I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my chest- I feel so good now. I just wanted to share- see good stuff does come out of TTC FOREVER sometimes. Anyway- off to dry my tears (of happiness this time) and hope you ladies have a wonderful wonderful day

[Pinoikoi]

Originally Posted by Nanette56

OMG I DID google wheatgrass the other day!

My midwife told me that the local organic eatery gives wheatgrass smoothies free to pregnant women. I am still a bit nervous to try that out, though. I have a feeling it might taste like wet moose poop.

[Nanette56]

Originally Posted by Pinoikoi

My midwife told me that the local organic eatery gives wheatgrass smoothies free to pregnant women. I am still a bit nervous to try that out, though. I have a feeling it might taste like wet moose poop.

Oh, just try it! It comes in like a shot glass I think. Just hold your breath! I watched a guy take it like a shot of liquor the last time I was in the smoothie place, and he made the sour whiskey face too. It was pretty damn funny.

[LZP]

Nanette- your story about your mom made me cry. I am so glad that you have that weight off your shoulders. Even as adults, sometimes we just need our mommies.

Although, I will say that it's reminding me how clueless my own mother is in times of trouble. She is affectionate, loving, etc, but will just pretend a problem doesnt exist, so as to not upset anyone by bringing it up. So, she hasnt said 2 things to me about children, TTC, etc, since our miscarriage in March. she just totally ignores it. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Must be that time of year.

YYYM- I am so glad that you come back here! and YAY for no condoms anymore! that is awesome. I know that DH wants to try ONE MORE kind, but i say just avoid them all.... however, we used to use this kind that was made in Japan- and it was the least irritating, and the thinnest thing I've ever experienced. I can give yu more info in PM if you want... but i think you should just avoid them all together!

(What do you do with condoms that you will never use? Can I donate to PParenthood or something? I hate to put in a landfill!)

enigo- thanks for the wheatgrass tip! I didnt have time to get the zinc, but the HFS and the vitamin place are near enough to each other that I can just get both at the same time! from what i remember of it, WGJ is not that delicious- but if it works- then i'll take a shot a day!!!

lisko- hope you're not hanging out here too much, and are in the DDCs more now!! but please do check in with us.


tear- thanks for boosting me up again. (and the other ladies, too!) I hope you got some much needed sleep last night! 13 hours?!?! are your conferences finished today? I hope you dont have to go through much more of that!

everyone else hi I just cant stay away, no matter how much I think I want to!

we are leaving for NY tonight, and i already know i will be exhausted on Sunday night! at least we get to see some good friends, have a few good meals, and spen time away from our house...

[kel32brown]

Nannette, I'm so glad you were able to share your feelings with your mom. A good mom is the best treasure, and even imperfect ones can be spot on FABULOUS sometimes. I'm glad she understood and wants you to share with her. Now stand back, and catch the avalanche of helpful hints she's 'heard' from TV, radio, the internet, and her friends. LOL - BTDT, have the tshirt.

[LZP]

Originally Posted by kel32brown

friends. LOL - BTDT, have the tshirt.

this gave me a much needed chuckle. thanks

[enigo]

Originally Posted by Pinoikoi

My midwife told me that the local organic eatery gives wheatgrass smoothies free to pregnant women. I am still a bit nervous to try that out, though. I have a feeling it might taste like wet moose poop.

If only it tasted THAT good! It tastes like concentrated lawn

[Nanette56]

Thank you ladies so much- and Kel,I know I'll get the T-shirt too, but know that she probably won't be able to come up with anything I haven't tried yet!!! My mom really does not act her age sometimes (67)-she acts younger- but I love her for it. She had me when she was 38, and I'm 29 now, so for 1980, that was considered pretty late for having children (I was also her 4th child). She "gets it" unlike a lot of women her age, and it just makes me so happy that she'll be more involved now
Liz, I'm sorry your mom doesn't like to talk about it- especially because I know how much you need the support right now . And though I know it's not the same- you have a ton of us here to talk to and be able to get it all out. And you better not stay away Have a wonderful time in NY- I'll be jealous that you're enjoying the cool weather while I'm stuck in the 90 degree heat for my 5k tomorrow