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I get so angry when people ask me this! RANT

post #1 of 92
Thread Starter 


We live in Hawaii and I take my toddler to the beach once a week. I practically dunk her in Nature's Gate SPF 50 waterproof sunblock and we only stay out in the sun for half an hour to an hour with a big floppy sun hat.

EVERY TIME we go, someone (it is ALWAYS someone without kids with them) always says to me very rudely and condescendingly "is that baby wearing any sunblock?!"

The first time someone did it, I was just shocked that they would be so rude. I said "yes" nervously and got a very rude "well, I guess it's okay then" very condescendingly as if I must be a moron and require their okay on the matter. The second time I said yes, the woman just nodded and walked off in a huff.

Now every time I hear it, I just want to scream "YOU KNOW WHAT?!! I think I have a LOT MORE invested in the safety of my child than YOU do! I don't need a complete stranger to tell me how to parent my child, thanks!"

WHY does it make me so angry? It just seems like these people think they know better than all mothers and have to start some kind of a fight. I realize sunblock is important, but it's really none of their business. All they are going to do is irritate people. It's not going to make a mother snatch up her child and run to the store lickety-split for some sunblock.

*sigh* Thanks for listening to my most recent psychosis. I just needed to get that out before I explode.
post #2 of 92
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.
post #3 of 92
How frustrating!!
post #4 of 92
Oh good grief . I'd be so tempted to say something like "oh no, we like the baby to get a little color, baby tans are so IN these days" .

I really would NOT justify these people with a serious answer. Laugh it off with something completely silly as a response.
post #5 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal_R View Post
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.
Ack! I was going to say Crisco too . GMTA.
post #6 of 92
I'm sorry! How frustrating! People can be SO judgmental... about such a wide variety of things.
post #7 of 92
Stare at them for a moment then turn away and continue with whatever you were doing before they were so nosey. You don't answer to them!

Sorry people are being so crummy!
post #8 of 92
DS is a fair skinned blonde boy through the winter. However, he has his dad's Cherokee blood in him and gets the most amazingly beautiful tan - through the SPF 50 sunscreen! I can totally sympathize with you, you wouldn't believe the comments I've gotten about letting this fair child of mine get so exposed to the sun! Most of the time I don't even bother with an answer anymore. I have to agree it IS very annoying!
post #9 of 92
WHY do people always ask that? for crying out loud in the rain people! mind your own business!

i always say "NOPE!", very cheerily and with a big smile! they are usually so shocked at my sweet answer to their condescending question, they get all flustered and then either walk away or fumble to change the subject. SO hilarious!

we don't use sunscreen, for a plethora of reasons. i get super annoyed when people ask, but hey, at least they've never asked if i used wipes to clean my baby's butt after i changed his/her diaper! geesh!
post #10 of 92
Want to be even angrier? I took my baby out half-naked practically all summer and only got asked where her hat was like 5 times and I was never asked about sunblock.

Is beach sun, with a hat and shade, magically stronger than other sun? Or do people just only think of sunblock when they're wearing it themselves?
post #11 of 92
My suggestion?

"Vitamin D? Ever hear of it? M. Y. O. B. and S. T. F. U."
post #12 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Want to be even angrier? I took my baby out half-naked practically all summer and only got asked where her hat was like 5 times and I was never asked about sunblock.

Is beach sun, with a hat and shade, magically stronger than other sun? Or do people just only think of sunblock when they're wearing it themselves?
post #13 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by Latte Mama View Post
Oh good grief . I'd be so tempted to say something like "oh no, we like the baby to get a little color, baby tans are so IN these days" .

I really would NOT justify these people with a serious answer. Laugh it off with something completely silly as a response.
Good thinking. Some people just come out with the weirdest stuff.
post #14 of 92
It is easier to get burnt at the beach because the sun reflects off the water there.

That being said, it's really nobody's right to say something like that. I'd probably say something snotty like "No, she really needs to tan, it makes her look thinner" or something and walk away.
post #15 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal_R View Post
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.
post #16 of 92
That is extremely annoying. I don't think you need to answer.

You may avoid the question in the first place, since it bothers you a great deal, by dressing your kiddo in one of the long-sleeved/long-legged UV-screening sunsuit/swimsuits and a hat. For older children, rashguard shirts and board shorts work well too. Maybe if they see your LO's covered up, there will be fewer nosy interrogations - although honestly, people like that always find something to comment on.
post #17 of 92
We don't use sunblock all the time. I think it is important for children to get vitamin D naturally. We also don't shower with soap for about 2 days after large sun exposure so the body can synthesize the vit D. (See Dr. Mercola for more info.) (We do use soap for major dirtiness though. That trumps the D. We also don't go into the sun a lot or for a long time. 20 minutes would be a lot at once.)

I think it is so hard for people to mind their own business when it comes to kids. I constantly find myself doing a mental check not to judge other people's parenting choices even when I disagree or think they are crazy. I saw a guy driving with a small child not in a carseat and no seatbelt. Though I was horrified, I had to stop myself and say, self - that is their choice, not mine. I may not like it but I shouldn't interfere. (And I can already feel the flames coming for that!)

We don't vaccinate at all. I don't want people interfering b/c they think it is best for my child and that I am neglectful or harming him for not vaxing.

It is such a paradigm shift for me, but I have come to the conclusion that personal beliefs shouldn't trump the rights of others. So when I see things that bother me as a parent I try to mmob. My theory is not perfect and still a work in progress, but there you go.

If that woman came up to me, I would hope that I would say something to deflect the situation like - wow it sure is sunny out here today. The sand is hot. Then try to ignore her. Knowing me, I would get totally flustered in shock or surprise at the question and stumble some incoherent answer b/c a million thoughts would be running through my head and my mouth wouldn't be able to keep up.

So, that is my very long-winded rambly answer to say - people need to mind their own business.
post #18 of 92
Yeah, I got that one too when we were hiking at Rocky Mountain National Park this summer. An older lady on the trail stopped us and said to LO, "I hope Mommy put sunscreen on you!". The comment itself was annoying, but it was even worse because I HATE when people say things "to the baby" because they think they can get away with being meddlesome that way. I just said, "Of course," in an unfriendly voice, and kept walking. So irritating.
post #19 of 92
I find comments like that annoying because they seem to reflect our safely obsessed culture to a tee. I think plenty of parents really aren't letting their kids outside because of one fear or another, and then the comments roll...

Like, comments on sunscreen, not wearing shoes, not wearing hats, letting your kid walk to the end of block alone, letting your baby eat real food, get dirty, put a stick in its mouth, etc. etc.

We've definitely gotten sunscreen comments too! A snotty "yes" is all I can muster - even if the answer is no!
post #20 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal_R View Post
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.
I don't know why I find this sooo funny... that response gets my vote.
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