Originally Posted by LROM
But the part about it being disrespectful and rude to assume other parents need a stranger to remind them of something... all I'll say on that is that I work for child welfare and am HORRIFIED by the number of things parents sometimes DO need reminding or initial instruction about.
They're not bad parents a lot of the time, and not mean. So many are just clueless. And I agree with Sisteesmama, for me, I want to live in a world where people care about other people and do ask questions if they think it would benefit someone. If they're rude or obnoxious or condescening that is uncalled for, but if they're well meaning, for me, I appreciate it even if it's unnecessary.
Right, but a part of what offends me when something like this happens (sunscreen or a hat or food I'm offering or whatever) is the assumption that a) I am one of those "not evil but well meaning parents" who needs advice from strangers and that b) the advice-giver is putting themself in a position of authority (on hats or food or whatever). If I were on the beach with my fair-skinned baby, and someone came up, introduced themself as a dermatologist,and said, "I just want to be sure you know how important it is for your baby to be wearing sunscreen, etc," then I would be genuinely fine and happy to get some free expert advice. Generally
, however, this has been by experience:
Originally Posted by theatermom
Maybe I'm a horrible cynic (it's possible, I'll admit), but it has been my experience that the vast majority of strangers asking annoying/prying/child-related questions and passing out their personal takes on life are not doing it out of a sense of community and connectedness. They're bored, or nosey, or wanting to feel as if they've done a "good" deed, or wanting a chance to feel superior. I can totally see someone from a state with strong sun looking for a chance to show off their native knowledge, rather than actually looking out for someone else's babe. If I really thought someone needed sunscreen or a shade for her baby, I would offer her some, and leave it at that.
It is NEVER the pleasant looking mom carrying her baby in the sling, or the off-duty pediatrician, etc, who doles out advice to me. It's always either a grumpy old man or, one one memorable occasion, a mom who was bottle feeding her newborn while her older children were running wild around us.
Originally Posted by hippiemommaof4
because people should mind their own business... I think it's annoying too I have five kids and if I havent figured things out yet then there is something wrong. I dont think most people have genuine concerns I think they are just nosey and know it alls. I see a lot of bad parenting and I dont let them know everything they are doing is def not what I would do unless they ask me. I dont tell that new mom giving a baby a bottle of formula that she should bf instead...because its NOMB and its rude for one thing not to mention I dont know why they do what they do for whatever reason. People need to keep their opinions to themselves unless they are asked for it im
This is how I feel. I DO NOT WANT community togetherness, joint parenting, or advice from strangers on the street. Nothing ruins my day quite like having a grouchy old lady growl at my daughter, happily playing in the rain, to put a hat on.