I feel silly about this, but... embarrassed to pump at work

[lian]

So, I'm going back to work fairly soon and am going to have to ask for a place to pump. Since i'm in Canada, and we get a year's maternity leave, pumping at work is not very common. I can't ever think of knowing anyone who's done it. I have no problem with NIP, anywhere, anytime without a cover, but for some reason pumping at work seems really embarrassing to me.

I guess I'm just looking for encouragement from other Canadian mammas who've done it. I work in a fairly small company, 80% men, and the last time a woman there had a baby was 25 years ago. It's a great company, and incredibly friendly, etc. so I don't think anyone would give me a hard time about it. But I just feel WEIRD, first of all asking them to find me a room to pump in, and then secondly, carrying my pump parts and milk from wherever I pump to the bathroom or lunchroom to wash them and store the milk in the fridge (is that what you guys do??). It just seems like such a personal thing to be showing off to everyone in the office. Plus, I don't really need the few woman at my work giving me a hard time for bfing past a year. *sigh* I know it's stupid that i feel this way... anyone else have similar feelings / experiences? how did you deal with it?

[Super~Single~Mama]

First, do'nt be embarrassed! Now, I know thats easier said than done. And, if you don't want you're milk on display for all to see, put it in a cooler with your name on it, and no one will even know what it is! And, use those pump wipe cleaners to wash it - then no one will even see the stuff!

Or, you can put the milk in a cooler with some ice and keep it at your desk or in your office and then you don't have to put it in the fridge.

Also, find out what the law is where you are. I'm not in canada, but I'm in NY and the law here states that until a woman's baby is 3years old (awesome huh?) her employer has to provide her with a place to pump.

[petey44]

I was also embarrassed to pump at work. I told one female supervisor and expected to leave it at that. But because of the nature of my job, I ended up having to include many more coworkers in my plans, including several males. I can't tell you how embarrassed I was to have to go up to a man, pump bag in hand, and ask him to vacate a room so I could "have some privacy...in relation to feeding my baby..."
I was shocked to find that everyone was really supportive. Some people, men included, talked my ear off about how what I was doing was so great and so wonderful, etc. Some men were just as embarrassed as me, and it broke the ice in a weird way to have us both avoiding eye contact as much as possible and fumbling with door locks.
My point, I guess, is that you just have to take a big breath and do it, knowing that it's the only thing that's right for you and your child. And when you do that, you might just find that you have some hidden support from others!
Now, I stopped pumping at work at a year, dd just eats food during the day. I have received so many "oh, you breastfed (past tense) your daughter, right?" comments since she turned 1 that I can understand your apprehension about the age issue. My advice, should anyone bring it up, would be to just say that you're trying to nurse to age 2 per WHO guidelines, or something along those lines. Simple, direct, and backed by "expert" advice usually seems to quiet most people.
Good luck!

[LindsC]

I'm not in Canada either, but I felt embarrased at first when I started pumping at work. There is one small office that has a lock that is rarely used except for training new employees that I usually use. However, when that room is in use I have to use another one and put a "do not disturb" sign on the the door so that nobody accidently walks in on me. I also have to walk across the office to get to a sink to rinse my pump parts, but I am so much more comfortable with it now and most of the other employees are just used to my routine too.

[foreverinbluejeans]

If your baby is a year old and you are going to be gone 8-9 hours a day you probably won't need to pump at work. Your baby can eat solids while you are at work and breastfeed while you are at home.

My DIL started working when my grandson (gs) was 9 mo. My son would take him to nurse at her break. Now he is 13 mo and no longer goes on break. She never pumped. He still nurses alot, probably 6 times every 24 hours - 2 times in the evening, 3 times in the night, 1 time in the morning. My DIL doesn't even really wake up when he nurses at night.

[lian]

Thanks for the replies! Hearing other's stories somehow makes me feel better. I'm not sure what hte exact laws are here, but I believe it's something along the lines that the employer has to provide "reasonable accomodation" to parents, whether that means providing a place to pump, allowing the employee to change the hours they work, not forcing an employee to go on business trips, etc. It's a bit vague, but basically says that employers must accomodate their employees who are new parents so long as it doesn't cause undue hardship to the company. So I'm sure they will do their best to find a place to pump.

I do realize that I may not need to pump once she's a year old, but she still nurses 5+ times/night at this point. I don't really want her to reverse cycle even more and increase that number further. Also, I'll be going back to work when she's about 10 months, and DH will take the remaining 2 months off. My work is a bit too far for him to bring DD to me at lunch time (unfortunately!).

I guess that's part of my discomfort about pumping at work - not only is my choice to breastfeed on display for the entire office, but also what foods I'm choosing to feed dd (I'm planning to hopefully delay dairy until she's 2 yrs at least) and her sleeping patterns will also be questioned. Oh well... life as parent, right? I just have to get used to it!

[lifeguard]

You may alternatively find that you can keep your pumping to before & after work. How old is she now? Do you have a supply in the freezer already?

With the bags I've seen for pumps I don't think anyone would have a clue what you are doing behind closed doors.

[curiouscanadian]

I'm in a very similar situation. I work for a very small company made up of 4-5 fairly young guys and one other (younger) girl in a very open-plan office. I went back part-time at about 7mo, and full time at 11mo.

At our old office location the only "office" with four full-height walls and a door was the boss's office, so I usually ended up pumping in the car if he wasn't out for a conveniently timed meeting.

Then we moved offices, into one that was/is still under construction. My first day back at work full time, and I discover the only place I have to pump is the bathroom that doesn't even have a door hung yet!!?! Because of the location and us only having one vehicle between DH & I, even pumping in the car was no longer an option.

So I really didn't and don't have an option about hiding the fact that I'm pumping. I monopolize the bathroom for 20 minutes twice a day! I'm not 100% comfortable with the whole situation yet, but I have found that they're actually pretty understanding and a bit curious to tell the truth. I try not to make a big deal out of it, but I don't hide it either. They're all aware now of why I disappear for awhile at least a couple times a day, so it just doesn't really come up in conversation.

My only concessions to modesty are that I do tend to "camouflage" my milk in the fridge, either the small cooler that came with the pump, or some other non-descript/solid container, and I can't seem to bring myself to say "breast" and "pump" in the same sentence at work, lol, so I usually just refer to it as simply "pumping" or "time to pump". (My DH is cool with me BFing and pumping but is a bit grossed out by the idea of BM for some strange reason, so I'd hate to creep out any of the guys at work, or worse yet, lose any of my liquid gold to their morning coffee! )

All that said, I start a new job next week and had to ask at the interview if I'd be able to take a shorter lunch, and have one pump break in the morning & afternoon and lemme tell you it was a it nerve-racking to have to discuss that with two much older guys I'd just met!! I just reminded myself before I went in that extended BFing is important to me, and phrased it to them as "BFing actually has more antibodies & immunities in the second year so I'm hoping it will help keep baby healthy and mean less missed work for me". I'm hoping what with there being other child-bearing women in the new office, that I won't have to deal with too much unwanted attention, and that they'll actually have an empty room I can count on using () but we'll have to wait and see.

I think the hardest part to deal with is people saying well, you don't HAVE to pump now that baby's over a year. Well, no, but I want to be sure to keep my supply (I had issues at around 9 mo) and I'd rather DS continue to have human milk rather than another mammal's milk at least for the time being.

Sorry this turned into a novel, but I just wanted to commiserate with the only other mama I've run into in a similar situation.

[tuffykenwell]

I went back to work when Niamh was 4 months and Isla was 7 weeks because I worked contracts so I pumped at work 3x a day for months. I was considered an oddity because all of the other women who went back to work with small babies (and yes there were many) just weaned rather than continuing to breastfeed. Even though they did consider me a bit of an oddity LOL they were generally supportive. The hardest part for me was feeling a bit isolated because I was using my lunch and breaks to pump so didn't get to socialize during those times.

Personally if your little one is a year old I would pump once a day around the middle of the day mark (assuming an 8 hour work day here). I used to get 16-20 ounces a day pumping 3x a day but a good half of that was gotten during the first pumping session of the day with the other two sessions only yielding 2-4 ounces per session (double pumping).

Also I recommend buying a really good double electric pump and either purchasing hands free pumping bras or just cutting holes in a couple of old nursing or pull over your head bras (which is what I did). While I pumped I read a book which was nice and gave me some "me" time at work.

HTH. You can do it!

Steph

[DangerMom]

If I'm honest, I have to admit that I was a bit weirded out by pumping at work at first. Now I don't care at all. But I am fortunate in that we have a lactation space at work, with a hospital grade pump that stays in that room.

I used to bring three sets of bottles and horns to work every day and then wash it all when I came home. Then I discovered that wasn't really necessary. I just bring one set and put it in a regular insulated lunchbag, which I just stick in the fridge if there is room. If no room, I haven't had any problems with just keeping the lunchbag on my desk.

I do still feel weird about having breastmilk bags sitting in the fridge, so I just put them in a small cloth bag and put that in the fridge. If anybody thought about it, they'd realize what it is, but it's no big deal.

I guess my advice is to force yourself to work through the embarassment. Just pump when you need to and all that entails, bravely moving on. In no time you (and your coworkers) will be used to it.

[Megan73]

I'm also in Canada and went back to work in August when my son was one.
I'm lucky in that I work at a different site from my colleagues so I never had to tell my boss I'm pumping but unlucky in that the only place to pump is a public bathroom stall.
I perch on the toilet seat and hang my pump from the coat rack. I only pump once a day at lunch – and a second time if I'll be home late – and it's really no big deal at all. It's kind of a break from my busy job, actually.
I don't need to keep the milk in a fridge – my Pump In Style comes with an insulated bag with a cold pack I put in the freezer every night.
I feel I need to pump because my babe STTN and I also want to be able to BF on weekends – particularly snuggling him down for a nap
Anyhow, if you have a bathroom with stalls – so you're not monopolizing the whole women's bathroom – it absolutely can be done and you may not even need to mention it to anyone.
That said, don't be ashamed to ask for a place to pump if you need it. It's a great thing you're doing for your little one and your legal right.

[Kismet_fw]

I used to work at a large computer company, and there were two "Mother rooms" on each floor (one each wing.) There were nicer chairs, curtains, sink to wash supplies, and a dedicated refridgerator, even if it was a small one. Visitors were welcome to use them too.

It was nice to see them and be aware of them, and to know they were used, but it's the only time I've been at a company large enough to make that kind of commitment in floor space and resources.

[TXmom2]

wow, I love the Mother's room...that sounds awesome.

I have a very hard time pumping because of difficulties with letdown, so it's really hard for me to pump at work.
Plus the fact that even though I work in childcare, they don't have a private space at all. The best they could offer was a chair in the lunchroom (common space used by the older kids for snack/lunch/group activities) that was facing toward the back wall "for privacy" My choices are either the restroom, a single room so I have to hog it and get someone trying to open the door several times, or my car (which is usually my choice)

If you can have access to a private room or space, it should be alot easier. The pump bag and cooler bag is very discreet, so thay shouldn't be a problem. I put my used pump stuff that needs washing in a ziplock bag inside my pump bag for the trip to the restroom for washing...no problem

[Quinalla]

Don't feel silly, I feel a little embarrassed about the fact that I will need to bring this up with my boss (and probably everyone else at my small company - nine people). I am lucky to have a private office with a door that locks already, so it will just be telling people why I am going to be in there with the door locked 2-3 times a day. My plan is to not dance around it, just to be upfront but brief, only going into detail if people are genuinely curious. Oh, and my work is 2/3 men right now too, but most of them are dads so that should help I hope!

I plan to use a little soft sided cooler for milk and stick it in the fridge, no one will bother something in a container and I'm sure washing parts will be embarrassing at first too, but I'll just do it I think and try not to worry about it.

[spughy]

I was in your shoes 3 years ago, and I just told my boss I needed a place to pump since DD refused to drink cow's milk (not thoroughly true, but it's an easy thing to say if you feel you need to justify things). He was very accommodating, told me to make a sign to put on the door and to book a meeting room. (I worked for a very large corporation and you had to book a room any time you wanted to do anything - but we were encouraged to do so... people booked rooms so they could take an hour to think uninterrupted, pumping seemed MORE of a good reason to do that!)

Anyway, I think it'll be less of a big deal than you expect. Probably your boss will go "oh. Ok. Where would work for you?" and then work around that, and it won't be an issue.