6-year-old obsessed with potty talk

[Luckiestgirl]

How to deal with this? It's been going on for about a month now, and now his 4-year-old sister and 2-year-old brother are doing it too. It's one thing to make jokes about poop, or draws pictures about poop, but another when he's calling us or his sitter "poop head." He has some mild OCD tendencies, and I truly think he's having difficulty un-learning a bad habit.

Dh and I are pretty free with language, and have always had the philosophy that it's better not to give words too much power, but the reality is that people will not respond well to being called these names.

We have been ignoring it, but after the incident with the sitter, I sat him and the 4-year-old down and said, "Enough. It's not okay to talk this way all the time. It upsets people when you call them poop head. It hurts their feelings." They seemed to get it, but within a few hours ds was back at it again, and encouraging his sister as well.

Suggestions?

[gumboot_charlie]

DS likes potty talk sometimes, I think it is just plain silliness but can also be a way for him to feel powerful. Whenever he starts, I give him the choice of going up to the bathroom or his room by himself so he can get all those words out, or he can stop if he wants to stay with us. I don't make a big deal of it and he often just stops, but I think it's important to be clear that we speak respectfully around others.

[swampangel]

My kids are into it, too. I don't feel like it's over the top, but I have a very high tolerance for potty talk. But there is a very clear boundary between potty talk for fun and calling names. I would just focus on that boundary and try to let it go when it isn't offensive to anyone else.

[pink gal]

5 year old DD is really into the potty talk lately also. I have had pretty good luck with allowing it for a period of time and then letting her know when it needs to stop. For example ...in the car with her best friend they can giggle about poo all they want in the car, but it needs to stop when we get to church. I've also set the timer and said you can have ____ minutes to do poo talk then we're done. When the timer dings she's pretty good about changing the subject.

[elizawill]

i would distinguish for your son that potty humor and name calling are 2 different things. my kids laugh hard over poo & pee too, and i'm fine with that... i'll even make up silly songs with them.

however, it is disrespectful and hurtful to call other people names. therefore, that would be my main focus in this situation with your 6 year old. hth.

[elizawill]

Originally Posted by swampangel

My kids are into it, too. I don't feel like it's over the top, but I have a very high tolerance for potty talk. But there is a very clear boundary between potty talk for fun and calling names. I would just focus on that boundary and try to let it go when it isn't offensive to anyone else.

i didn't see your comment previously. i completely agree.

[janebug]

just to add...i am right there with you. my 5 year old ds is the exact same...and with the same switch over to the name calling thing.

we've had some luck with talking about knowing if the person you are playing with wants to play poop talk...and then if they don't...

[LynnS6]

Playful Parenting by Larry Cohen has a great technique for this.

Basically, replace the word that you don't like with one that's 'acceptable' or just plain silly.

For example, my dd took to calling me "boobie" a year or two ago. (She didn't actually know what 'boobie' meant, because we don't use that term, but I really didn't want her to continue.)

So, I said something like "I am? Well don't you DARE call me a banana!"
She, of course, immediately said "you're a banana!" I then reacted in mock horror: "Oh no, you called me a banana! how could you! That's terrible! Don't you ever call me that again." (This is the time to try out your melodramatic acting skills.)

Dd laughed hysterically, and of course, immediately called me a banana again. And I "over"reacted again. Rinse and repeat about 10 times during that car ride, and about 100 times over the next month or so.

But, once she discovered the funny banana game, 'boobie' disappeared.

Every once in a while, she'll ask me to 'play' this again. It's hysterical in her eyes.

[Luckiestgirl]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Lynn, I think I'll try your technique tomorrow.

[intentionalmama]

I want to second what Lynn wrote. My six year old and his friend six and three said to me "you are a rotton egg." I remembered Playful Parenting and said "Oh, you can call me rotton egg, but whatever you do don't call me quackie duckie" Well, that was it. That was probably six months ago, and they still call me quackie duckie. We have had lots of fun with this technique. We have found that if you make it fun - it's amazing how kids respond.

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Playful Parenting by Larry Cohen has a great technique for this.

Basically, replace the word that you don't like with one that's 'acceptable' or just plain silly.

For example, my dd took to calling me "boobie" a year or two ago. (She didn't actually know what 'boobie' meant, because we don't use that term, but I really didn't want her to continue.)

So, I said something like "I am? Well don't you DARE call me a banana!"
She, of course, immediately said "you're a banana!" I then reacted in mock horror: "Oh no, you called me a banana! how could you! That's terrible! Don't you ever call me that again." (This is the time to try out your melodramatic acting skills.)

Dd laughed hysterically, and of course, immediately called me a banana again. And I "over"reacted again. Rinse and repeat about 10 times during that car ride, and about 100 times over the next month or so.

But, once she discovered the funny banana game, 'boobie' disappeared.

Every once in a while, she'll ask me to 'play' this again. It's hysterical in her eyes.