Originally Posted by ElliesMomma  my daughter is almost 3.5, and still nursing, which i think helps. she loves her little brother, wants to hug and kiss him all the time. i do have to remind her (constantly) not to lean her weight on him. she is oblivious to the fact that he is so tiny and fragile, and that she can really hurt him by applying her weight to his body with, for example, her arm. it is unintentional on her part.
what i'm really having a problem with is her making so much noise when he is trying to sleep. particularly in the morning it has been a problem, since we all share a room (she is now in a toddler bed next to my bed, and i've got the baby sleeping with me). DD wakes up pretty early, whereas i've been used to sleeping in, and in fact getting my best stretch of sleep in the last five hours before i wake up. since the new baby arrived, DD has pretty much blown that out of the water, and all the sleep i'm getting has been in very broken peices through the night.
DD wakes up to nurse a couple of times during the night. i've decided it's easier to just let her climb up on me, nurse for a very short time (less than a minute usually) and tell her OK now get back in bed, which she does. this has been way easier on me than trying to persuade her not to nurse at all, or getting out of my bed to nurse her. (once i'm asleep and tucked in, i really really don't like getting up, and now that i'm not pregnant anymore, i find i can go all night pretty much without having to go pee... but i digress from your question).
my husband has been fairly useless as far as help with the kids. he's great for doing everything else though, so i guess it's OK. but i have both kids with me all day every day and it is a lot more work. the newborn is high needs care (my baby likes to be held all the time. i use the moby wrap as much as possible, and he will often settle down and fall into a nice deep sleep while being worn -- often, but not always). when DS is in the moby, i have a little time and ability to interact with DD more.
my son is four weeks old tonight. for the past week and a half, my mom has been coming over around 11 am and staying until 5 or 6 pm. she has been *great* for giving DD some one on one attention. they play preschool games like hiho cherry O and candy land. they go in the backyard and play for long stretches of time. DD even took my mom down in the basement where we have some things in storage and a few toys for her, and according to my mom was like a kid playing in an attic, inventing games and stories out of everything. my mom totally indulges her imagination and seems to have infinite patience with her. so this has been a real blessing.
as for me, i'm finding that my temper is short with DD and i do regret this a lot. but to cut myself a break, and give myself some understanding too, it is really really hard to try to do it all, all the time, and on so little sleep. it is starting to wear me down. DD loves her brother, and she is going to love having him in her life more and more as he grows and is able to really interact with her. the changes in our lives that we are currently undergoing is a necessary component of getting to the good that will come with her having a sibling.
it's pretty clear that i've pretty much spoiled her until now, since the behaviors that i've just put up with and indulged myself until now, are currently driving me crazy. DD has had to make a lot of adjustments.
what's worked for us, to try to answer your question, i've explained to her how DS really needs the nursing milk, without it he won't grow and he could die (maybe not for everyone to use that term, but our 13 year old dog died earlier this year, and we didn't shield DD from the reality of it when she passed away, and ever since she's been working out all of her questions about death, and she does seem to "get" that it's really really important for DS to get all of his chances to eat the milk. she will leave me alone nicely to nurse him. i do let her have a few chances to nurse during the day, i usually limit the duration of each nursing session for her, however.
at bedtime, hopefully he is already asleep, and i can do her/our regular routine of shower, tooth brush, hair brush, PJs, read a book she picks and nurse to sleep. usually it has gone really well. then i eat a triple serving of oatmeal, take an hour to myself and get ready for DS to wake up hungry again. tonight however DD would not go to sleep. it was getting to be very aggravating for me. two hours later and she was still up, DS was up and i felt my milk was not as abundant as it should have been for him, since DD had already taken it all (and still not gone to bed).
i let her watch a DVD while i nursed him, and she finally fell asleep in front of the TV. i feel very guilty about this. but the truth is most night have gone a lot more smoothly than this, mostly she nurses to sleep in her own bed.
OK enough about me and my situation, sorry to have rambled. i am interested in the topic, though, and will be curious to read more replies.
thanks for bringing up the subject!
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. I will post later when I don't feel like crying about the whole situation.
: I could have written this.......Mine does hurt the other one
