Maybe someone can help me. My ds is 4.5 and generally a sweet smart kid. He has very little interest in self-care tasks, like getting dressed or remembering to use the toilet. He is able to dress himself, but he prefers me to do it.
Until now, I haven't made much of an issue about dressing. But now I feel like he's old enough to do it himself, and I'd like him to do it himself. I'm starting to feel a little resentful about dressing him and undressing him completely every day.
We've talked about this expectation, that he will dress himself. But every morning we fall into the same pattern:
-first I ask him to get dressed, he ignores me
-then I say, Henry, clothes!, he ignores me
-then I ask again, and he says, you put my clothes on, and I tell him I'd like him to do it himself
-then I ask or remind him a few more times, with no results
-sometimes I set a timer, and try to make dressing into a game, but ds ignores the timer and keeps playing
-then I start getting annoyed, and I hear my tone getting really shrill, but usually I can't help myself, and I start nagging or even yelling (I feel awful about this)
At this point, my ds usually starts listening to me and either gets dressed or tells me all the reasons he doesn't want to get dressed. Then I sometimes dress him, because I'm frustrated and we need to get moving.
We often go through a similar routine when it's time for ds to put his shoes on and leave the house (ds is in pre-k 5 days a week).
How do I turn this situation around? I feel like a crabby monster every morning. I asked ds how we could solve the problem, and he suggested that he should get dressed first thing, before playing, so we'll try that (easier said then done!). Do I have unrealistic expectations? Do I send ds to school in his pajamas some morning to show consequences? Do I just need to chill out? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Until now, I haven't made much of an issue about dressing. But now I feel like he's old enough to do it himself, and I'd like him to do it himself. I'm starting to feel a little resentful about dressing him and undressing him completely every day.
We've talked about this expectation, that he will dress himself. But every morning we fall into the same pattern:
-first I ask him to get dressed, he ignores me
-then I say, Henry, clothes!, he ignores me
-then I ask again, and he says, you put my clothes on, and I tell him I'd like him to do it himself
-then I ask or remind him a few more times, with no results
-sometimes I set a timer, and try to make dressing into a game, but ds ignores the timer and keeps playing
-then I start getting annoyed, and I hear my tone getting really shrill, but usually I can't help myself, and I start nagging or even yelling (I feel awful about this)
At this point, my ds usually starts listening to me and either gets dressed or tells me all the reasons he doesn't want to get dressed. Then I sometimes dress him, because I'm frustrated and we need to get moving.
We often go through a similar routine when it's time for ds to put his shoes on and leave the house (ds is in pre-k 5 days a week).
How do I turn this situation around? I feel like a crabby monster every morning. I asked ds how we could solve the problem, and he suggested that he should get dressed first thing, before playing, so we'll try that (easier said then done!). Do I have unrealistic expectations? Do I send ds to school in his pajamas some morning to show consequences? Do I just need to chill out? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
He's a kid - why rush him to grow up and do things in a boring way? It doesn't hurt me to make it fun for him.
I have to say it really depends on the kid and the reasoning for both them not wanting to get dressed at that moment, and the reasoning for the parent needing it done at that moment - yk? Believe me, I am all for independence, and sure, my 2.5 yo is capable of dressing himself -- but when I assist my 4.5 yo with getting ready for school, I don't feel like I am hindering his independence in the long run.
