negotiating pay for mother's helpers

[Abylite]

Hello!

I just had a question and I hope I can get some feedback. I have a 4 and 2 year old and I'm a WOHM... DH has a great new job...but it involves traveling 2x month for a few days at a time...I've interviewed some mother's helpers to help me in the eves esp with the dinner, bath, bedtime routine...and to prepare for the next day!

The going rate is about $10 and hour but this one person whom I really like and is great with the kids charges $14. I'm not sure if I should negotiate or just accept her rate? I've also met someone great as well (also great with the kids) but she's $10 an hour. It adds up weekly the $4.00 difference....should I say anything or just accept it??? How would I phrase it without sounding "cheap"... I'd like to alternate them so the kids and I feel comfortable with more than one person....

With 2 kids in daycare...we don't have alot of extra $ at the moment, but I do need backup esp since we don't have family in the area.

Thanks!

[annekevdbroek]

I am not sure how to negotiate. I have to wonder about the rate because we are in a high COL area and those rates are what an adult babysitter or nanny would charge (to care for the children w/o adult present). I am not sure about a mother's helper, but I'd expect closer to $7 an hour, and in our neighborhood it is often done by the teenagers.

That aside, I'd pay what they are asking and I'd go with the person I liked best. Particuarly if it is only a few days a couple times per month.

My husband is currently deployed so I am doing the WOHM single-parent thing w/o evening help. It can be done. Establish a strong routine and stick with it are the best advice I can give you.

[JessieBird]

My advice is that if you think she is really great, then give her what she has asked for. Cut back on the number of hours if you have to stick to your budget.

I'm speaking from recent experience - a friend and I just lost our dream nanny-share because we offered too low (going rate) and couldn't bring ourselves to pay what she asked. I totally regret it because no one else I've interviewed has even come close to being such a good fit with our family, nor had such stellar recommendations & credentials. We would have forgotten all about that extra cost in no time I'm sure, or found ways to make it up (such as asking her to bring her own lunch or shaving 1/2 hour off the day, etc).

If this person has the potential to be a really important part of your family and someone you can count on in the future, I think it might be worth it to pay her enough to be happy and loyal.

[RockStarMom]

I'm a nanny so I'll give my two cents.
I've had prospective families tell me that their budget is $x/hour, and if it's not a huge difference and I like them I'll tell them that we could negotiate a middle amount. So I would just tell her your budget but say that she seems perfect and ask if she'd be willing to negotiate.
However: if you'll be using her on an on-call basis, know that she will probably make herself more available to others who are paying her what her standard rate is. I work for several families and I take on hours for the ones who pay me more.