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Throwing candy away - Page 12

post #221 of 275
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Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I'm not stressing, nor am I unhappy. I know most of them will throw that stuff away, so I don't buy it. No stress involved.
Well, you seem a little peeved by the idea that the candy might be thrown away, is all.

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And, as I say, if you know kids like that, that's great. I've never met one - not one. A few of them will keep the toys, but none of them throw away the candy. And, I do remember classmates whose parents threw away the candy when I was kid. Every one of them cadged any candy they could get from their classmates in the days after Halloween, and were really unhappy about having their candy thrown out, after they "worked so hard" to get it.
I was that kid. So was my sister. (My brother would eat anything remotely sugary.) My sister refused to eat anything that was chocolatey or had nuts. I hated the fruit candy. We traded a lot and tossed the rest. I liked getting plastic spiderweb rings and stickers and pennies. My brother didn't. We traded a lot. Our parents didn't let us keep everything--anything too sticky was tossed because it was so bad for the teeth, so no Sugar Daddies. And we didn't get to keep cookies or unwrapped treats because we lived in a large city. We didn't mind.

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Wow. Where do you live? I've not only never lived in a community like that. I've never heard of one. It's not about my family. It's about trick-or-treating being about treats. I, personally, wouldn't have knocked on someone's door as a kid if I knew they were making popcorn balls, because I'd have felt bad throwing them out...and you couldn't have paid me to eat one, then or now.
I moved from Brooklyn to a semi-rural community of about 3,000 people. The neighbors all know each other and the community itself is pretty tight. That was one major appeal of moving here. And I love popcorn balls--DS might not, when he's old enough to eat them, but we wouldn't dream of skipping the house of someone we know--someone who might be expecting us, in fact--just because we don't like their traditional treat. When I was a kid we didn't do that either--the old lady across the street gave away boxes of raisins. We hated those, but we went anyway, because she would have been hurt if we didn't.

You don't have to eat the popcorn balls. More for me.

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In any case, this has wandered way afield from why anyone would deliberately feed the candy marketing/selling/buying beast that is Halloween, if they're just going to throw the candy away. I really can't wrap my head around the idea of thinking candy is so bad that it must be thrown away, while simultaneously deliberately encouraging the manufacture, distribution, sale and purchase of said candy. You can say "it's not about the candy for our family", but the current cultural construct of trick-or-treating is about the candy, and everyone knows it.
Because as commercial as Halloween is in mainstream circles, there's still this nugget of traditionalism there if you probe deeply enough to find it. And that's what we like, and that's what we appreciate. So not "everyone knows it", because, simply put, I disagree with you. It's about candy for you and your kids, okay. That really is okay! But that's not what it's about for us, or from what I understand, our new neighbors. And that's okay too. Different strokes and all that. Not all candy is that bad, but some of it is. The bad stuff gets tossed, the good stuff we eat. It's not such a crazy concept.
post #222 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
So, have you broached the idea of just going around and showing costumes to each other? Visting on Halloween, without the "trick or treat" part?

Have you ever said, "oh, no thank you - we just like to visit the neighbours and dd likes to show off her costume"? Do any of your wonderful neighbours not hand out anything, or do they answer the door with a bowl of treats?

So, you think trick-or-treating shouldn't have treats? It should just be a community oriented excuse to take stuff from neighbours and throw it away?

I don't even get this. It's very community minded here, too...lots of the neighbours will be looking forward to seeing dd1's and ds2's costumes, and will definitely take time to admire dd2 in her Ergo when I take them out. But...this is a community and my kids don't need to ask for candy to interact with their neighbours. They do that every day. So do I. I'm grateful that I don't have to ask for things from my neighbours and then throw them away, in order to feel community minded.

This whole thread is blowing my mind. I'm sorry, but knocking on people's doors and asking for treats, knowing that you're going to throw those treats away, isn't what I think of when I think of community. YMMV.
I don't think I can speak for my entire part of town, and I am pretty sure a lot of them really like the candy. I see the little eyes light up when I recycle our candy loot in LARGE amounts I am not interested in changing Halloween, I just don't wish to kill my allergic child with candy and I don't wish to feed my other kids things that are primarily chemical flavorings and corn starch. I am not knocking the chocolate though, we eat that. I don't really see the point of getting all worked up about how OTHER people celebrate holidays either though, to each their own and all that.

Also, many of these people have already bought treats in anticipation of Halloween, and many of them get a great amount of pleasure from sharing what they believe to be a fantastic treat. I think it would be considered incredibly rude to essentially tell them that this effort was wasted as I don't want my kid eating that crap..... Really, one of the men is a widower and he doesn't get around well. He goes to a great effort to buy candy for ToT'ers. He dresses up as a clown every year and waits in anticipation. I think it is great and I would NEVER insult him by rejecting his efforts. My kids love going to that house because he is dressed up and is so nice. Every time we pass his house they smile. They talk about him often, and only because of our ToT experience. That is only ONE example. Another neighbour came running out of her house the other day to tell me that she bought full sized chocolate bars for the neighbourhood kids. Again, I am NOT going to tell her that her efforts are wasted on us. I want my kids to be considerate of other people and their feelings and I am grateful that people care enough about each other to go to so much trouble Even though we don't eat large amounts of what we are give we talk extensively about our gratitude and how even though we don't eat certain foods many people do and they buy these things out of kindness.

I would rather focus my energy on bigger issues than a fun holiday that comes once a year

I should point out though that I only toss the especially weird and gross candy of questionable origin. I recycle the nerds and tootsie roll type candy to the older kids who come later, and I do let my kids eat some of it (if it is allergy safe). Dh and I eat WAY too much and give away what we can. Then I stash it in a cupboard for months on end then toss it once I find it a year later

And honestly *I* don't get why so many people feel so strongly about what OTHER people do with candy. Aren't there bigger and less controversial examples of waste to worry about?

post #223 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Yeah - but I know for a fact that most of the kids around here would throw those things away, and I see no point in buying something they'll just chuck. Whatever the parents might think about it, their kids are looking for candy.

So you won't buy things that YOU think would get tossed in favour of something else that may clearly also get tossed. Judging by this thread anyway. Clearly we all have different ideas of what a treat may be.
post #224 of 275
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Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
My kids' candy collection at the end of the night would maybe fill a sandwich bag each. We live in a pretty widely spaced neighborhood, and we only walk as long as they're not cold/grumpy/whiney, once they start heading into that territory we're on our way home. So sorry, to all the people who think I'm a terrible person and terrible mother for throwing away a sandwich-sized bag of odds and ends candy at the end of the night. I can't say any of the impassioned shame on yous have really given me any guilt. I throw away more food from my occasionally picky eater's plate when I don't anticipate that his mood has shifted that way, than I do on Halloween night.

It's taken me a long time to get out of the packrat/must keep everything potentially useful/still good mentality, and I like it that way. Pretty much I am VERY strict on the 'reduction' end of reduce/reuse/recycle, but this is one night where I make the exception for my kids' sake, because they enjoy ToTing so much. By the time they outgrow it in a few years (and we didn't ToT until they were 3 and 4), I'm sorry, but I don't think the impact is as great as people who regularly buy organic fruit shipped from Argentina (assuming you don't live there).

I still don't get the total over the top reactions here. You'd think that a person who chucks a handful of candy, or slightly more, might as well have singlehandedly tipped the Exxon Valdez.
post #225 of 275
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Originally Posted by kcstar View Post
Just a suggestion, if all you're into is the community of it, why say "Trick or treat?"

When I was growing up, we were not ALLOWED to say ToT when we went out. We had to say "Happy Halloween!". My parents objected to the implied threat of ToT.

It's still a community event, and saying Happy Halloween makes it even more clear that you're there for the community.
For the same reason you say, "Merry Christmas!" instead of "Happy Christmas!". It's traditional. "Happy Halloween!" is sweet too but I'm pretty sure most people understand that we're not actually going to trash their house if they don't give us some loot.
post #226 of 275
Okay, which one of you non-chuckers bought a packaged costume from the store, huh? I want to know who my buddy in wast--er...credit trade partner is! If you choke down those bits-o-honey in the name of avoiding throwing it out, then I'll take one for you when people have no clue what my kids are for halloween because I had to make 'em myself!
post #227 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
Okay, which one of you non-chuckers bought a packaged costume from the store, huh? I want to know who my buddy in wast--er...credit trade partner is! If you choke down those bits-o-honey in the name of avoiding throwing it out, then I'll take one for you when people have no clue what my kids are for halloween because I had to make 'em myself!
How about making next years Halloween costume from this years inedible candy.
post #228 of 275
Our neighborhood kids would egg our house if I tried to pass off stickers or bubbles. Those kids want chocolate.

We get about one hundred trick or treaters (and one year about 150, depends on if it's a football night) passing through and we give goodie bags, as is the norm where we are. I don't want a house full of candy (we do sometimes eat candy, but not tons at one time. I have no issue with some candy every now and then) and my little one is happy to sit on the front porch all night and give away candy. That's how we get to see our neighbors and talk to everyone. They come to us.

Of course, in our neighborhood, people put Granny and Great Uncle Ned on the back of one of those golf cart things and make sure they get out and visit too so I don't think anyone is missing anything or we're missing anyONE if we stay home and I can live with my daughter not personally greeting every single person in town. Giving AWAY candy is neighborly enough for my standards.

I know sooner or later she's going to figure out what I'm up to and we'll deal with that then.
post #229 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
But SB, you just got done talking about the badness of the cultural construct of this candy holiday.
I'm not sure where I did that. I like Halloween, and I don't have any objection to trick-or-treating for candy.

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Or are you trying to point out that the people getting bent out of shape because someone threw something away are perhaps just displacing some of their own cultural guilt onto the pitchers so that they can feel better about their own sellout to Nestle/Hershey's/Corporate greed masquerading as good ol' American fun?
Nope. I just think it's really strange, and very wasteful, to deliberately participate in something you don't have to participate in and find objectionable. If someone finds candy so objectionable that they throw it away (and I'm not talking about a few stray items at the bottom of the bag that went stale before they got eaten), I simply don't get why they'd trick-or-treat at all. The whole "it's not about the candy" thing makes no sense, from a cultural standpoint, because it is about the candy.

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Do I get some credit trades from you if I mention that my children's costumes are all handmade by me based on thrift store finds, instead of prepackaged costumes by slave labor manufacturers in countries with no human rights?
I think that's awesome. I don't do that, because I lack the creativity (and I can't sew, which isn't necessary, but definitely helps), but I love seeing homemade costumes. However, I'm not interested in credit or credit trades. People can do what they want. I just find it really strange. I can't fathom any circumstance in which I'd ask someone for something, just to throw it out.

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Surely, if one can buy out their carbon emissions guilt from airplane travel, I can get some forgiveness/amnesty by not wholesale succumbing to the evil corporations, right?
Nothing to forgive. To each their own (and I"m not actually into the whole carbon emissions trade-off thing). I just find it really strange, and don't even begin to get the thinking.

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Or maybe not. MDC can be a damned tough crowd.
No argument from me there.
post #230 of 275
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Originally Posted by FreeRangeMama View Post
So you won't buy things that YOU think would get tossed in favour of something else that may clearly also get tossed. Judging by this thread anyway. Clearly we all have different ideas of what a treat may be.
It has nothing to do with what I "think" would get tossed. I've been in this specific neighbourhood for four Halloweens. This is the fifth. I know the kids who come to my door. They want candy. Are there any exceptions? Any kids at all who don't mind toys/bubbles/stickers? Sure - there are a couple - but only a couple, and they like the candy, too. Do the parents of the candy-loving kids throw away their candy? I don't honestly know...but I'm not handing treats to the parents - I'm handing treats to the kids. So, I get what I know they like...not what I think they might like...what I know they like.

My idea of what a treat is doesn't matter. I'm not trick-or-treating.

(Despite how much I loved the candy as a kid, I actually enjoyed the fact that my mom had a thing about handing out candy, because she bought roasted, salted sunflower seeds, instead...and they're my favourite snack food ever, so I got to enjoy the ones that didn't get handed out. Yummy. But, that doesn't mean I don't know the other kids, by and large, didn't like them.)
post #231 of 275
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Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
Our neighborhood kids would egg our house if I tried to pass off stickers or bubbles. Those kids want chocolate.
Yeah - that's what I'm talking about. I don't know that they'd actually egg my house, for a variety of reasons. But, that would be the emotional reaction.
post #232 of 275
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Originally Posted by peainthepod View Post
Well, you seem a little peeved by the idea that the candy might be thrown away, is all.
Not peeved. Boggled. In any case, if this neighbourhood showed any signs of being anti-candy, I'd stop buying candy, and buy a few bubbles, glow sticks, stickers, or whatever. If this neighbourhood went anti-candy, I'd probably stop taking my kids out trick-or-treating, because they wouldn't want that stuff. If I were anti-candy to the point where I wouldn't even donate it, I wouldn't take my kids out trick-or-treating, either, because that's at least 90% (conservative estimate) of what they'd get. It just makes no sense to me to go out and deliberately collect a bunch of stuff (be it candy, stickers, bubbles, or whatever) just to take it home and throw it away.

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I was that kid. So was my sister. (My brother would eat anything remotely sugary.)
Fair enough. You know/knew kids who didn't want the candy. I didn't. I still don't.

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And I love popcorn balls--DS might not, when he's old enough to eat them, but we wouldn't dream of skipping the house of someone we know--someone who might be expecting us, in fact--just because we don't like their traditional treat. When I was a kid we didn't do that either--the old lady across the street gave away boxes of raisins. We hated those, but we went anyway, because she would have been hurt if we didn't.
So, trick-or-treating was an obligation? That seems really weird to me, too.

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You don't have to eat the popcorn balls. More for me.
Fine. But, I also wouldn't go get one that I knew I'd just throw away. Let some kid who likes them go get it, instead.

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Because as commercial as Halloween is in mainstream circles, there's still this nugget of traditionalism there if you probe deeply enough to find it. And that's what we like, and that's what we appreciate. So not "everyone knows it", because, simply put, I disagree with you. It's about candy for you and your kids, okay. That really is okay! But that's not what it's about for us, or from what I understand, our new neighbors. And that's okay too. Different strokes and all that. Not all candy is that bad, but some of it is. The bad stuff gets tossed, the good stuff we eat. It's not such a crazy concept.
If it's not what it's about for your neighbours, then you're not going out and deliberately getting a bunch of candy to throw away, right? So, what difference does any of this make to you? If trick-or-treating isn't about candy in your community, then you're not deliberately going out to get candy to throw away.

Okay - I'm out. I'm more confused than ever.
post #233 of 275
Saturdays are candy-days here....other days are not candy days. That said, we do tot, and last year my dd got the motherload. I let her go nuts, tasting it all, spitting some out, getting a tummy ache. We brushed the teeth really well that night and then the motherload disappeared. For good. It's not good for me, for her, for anyone. We don't give candy to anyone else, and we don't take candy from the supermarket, doctor's office, yada yada. I'm baffled by how much of the stuff is everywhere with such a sugar-dependent-people problem all over society. dd gets to keep anything non-sugared from t.o.t. including apples or toys and crap toys and stickers, etc. But honestly, I think sometimes that the best present I've given my child so far is allowing her to explore candy now and then...she believes that m&ms make her tummy hurt, as do frosted cookies and jelly beans and chocolate bars. And you know what, she's right! But good for her to figure it out when she's 2 as opposed to when she's full blown diabetic at 20. We'll stick to giving out nickles and apples this year again.....and hope that more families start pulling away from dishing out the candy too someday.
post #234 of 275
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Originally Posted by pjs View Post
Again, I am so surprised that this outcry of intentional waste was no where to be seen or heard in the happy meal thread where people are BUYING happy meals with the intent of throwing the food away. Is it solely because it is McDonald's that makes that waste ok?
To me throwing out something you personally have paid for is way different than throwing out in essence someone elses money.

Growing up ToT for me we ate everything we could that night to the point of nausea many times not because it would be thrown away if we didnt but because it was fun. All part of Halloween that I am passing on to my kids. The only candy I throw out is the kind no one will/can eat here. But 99% of it if the kids dont eat it I will and enjoy every bite

How is letting kids have lots of candy one time, either all at once or spread out over weeks, in 12 months going to cause a problem? Baring allergies it just isnt a big deal.
post #235 of 275
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Originally Posted by peainthepod View Post
Well, we plan to give out "healthy" candy (candy made from cane or raw sugar or honey) and stickers so I don't agree that you have to forego the whole tradition just because most of what is given away isn't what you'd consider edible. If people weren't so paranoid we'd happily give away caramel apples, cookies, or popcorn balls.

Trick or treating goes back a lot longer than fun-sized candy bars made from high fructose corn syrup. Just because that's what most people choose to give away these days doesn't mean there's no point in trick or treating.

THANK YOU! For me, this is what it's all about. I personally believe feeding my children candy, is like putting sugar in your car's gas tank. It's not fuel and it can damage the parts that make it work. It would ruin the car, and that is wasteful. And with all the nutritionally conscious people on MDC, I'm surprised there is not more of an effort in trying to influence the tradition in a positive way. Like handing out really awesome, but more healthful/natural treats! I have gotten some great ideas from this thread about honey sticks and other more healthful treats that I'd never heard of! I love ToT, and I know the kids want candy, and I WANT to participate and make all the children happy. I would love to find some awesome natural treat that makes all the neighborhood kids want to come to my house every year! I can't just go with the mainstream because that's what everyone does and that's what everyone wants. What did they pass out before fun-size snicker bars??
post #236 of 275
Haven't read the whole thread, but we limit candy here but halloween is one of those times of the year that all regulations are out the window lol. this year will be the first time we've trick or treated in 6 or 7 years (we usually do church festivals, this year it is on a different night so we will do both the festival and t or t) They can pretty much pig out on halloween night and then it goes up and is dished out over the next..however long i can get it to last lol. I can't imagine throwing it away. Candy is expensive and i'd feel too bad!
post #237 of 275
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Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Not peeved. Boggled. In any case, if this neighbourhood showed any signs of being anti-candy, I'd stop buying candy, and buy a few bubbles, glow sticks, stickers, or whatever. If this neighbourhood went anti-candy, I'd probably stop taking my kids out trick-or-treating, because they wouldn't want that stuff. If I were anti-candy to the point where I wouldn't even donate it, I wouldn't take my kids out trick-or-treating, either, because that's at least 90% (conservative estimate) of what they'd get. It just makes no sense to me to go out and deliberately collect a bunch of stuff (be it candy, stickers, bubbles, or whatever) just to take it home and throw it away.
That would be one way to handle it (not going out, I mean). But not the only way. And I'm not "anticandy", just anti bad candy. I'm an avid baker and I make my own candy more often than I should.

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Fair enough. You know/knew kids who didn't want the candy. I didn't. I still don't.
I guess this is further evidence of how differently we approach this holiday then, and how diverse children's attitudes can be.

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So, trick-or-treating was an obligation? That seems really weird to me, too.
No, it was a social ritual and as with all social rituals, great care was (and is) taken to protect and preserve the feelings of others--in this case, the kindly old woman who lived across the street from us and had no reason to be informed (either by skipping her house or refusing it at her door) that the raisins she so enjoyed were generally loathed by every kid in the neighborhood. It was fun to go over and say hi in our costumes, and bask in her praise and well wishes, even if the raisins sucked. I don't see anything weird about that. Isn't that what neighborhoods are for?

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Fine. But, I also wouldn't go get one that I knew I'd just throw away. Let some kid who likes them go get it, instead.
Okay, but I would throw it away, because if it's not good enough for my kid I'm not comfortable giving it to yours. Sorry.

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If it's not what it's about for your neighbours, then you're not going out and deliberately getting a bunch of candy to throw away, right? So, what difference does any of this make to you? If trick-or-treating isn't about candy in your community, then you're not deliberately going out to get candy to throw away.
Trick or treating is about seeing friends and neighbors, preserving traditions, and letting the kids experience the fun of Halloween. And candy is a part of it, and some of the neighbors will surely give us candy that DS won't be allowed to eat, but I won't kill the entire experience for him just because some families choose--for whatever reasons--to give out candy that I'm not comfortable letting him eat. It seems really strange to fixate on only the candy aspect of the holiday--like playing right into the commercialism of it all. Whatever happened to celebrating Halloween just to celebrate it? There are so many other great things about the holiday--carving jack o'lanterns, bobbing for apples, making costumes, decorating the house and yard, telling scary stories, etc. Candy is just one (small) part of it.

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Okay - I'm out. I'm more confused than ever.
I think we should just agree to disagree.

Mmm, popcorn balls...
post #238 of 275
Well, all I know is that I'm not going to spend hours this year making airplanes out of the Laffy Taffy's and smarties or ghosts out of the tootsie pops since now I know that half of the parents out there are trashing not only my money but my time when they throw it away as soon as they get home. I had no idea and I feel a little like somebody peed in my wheaties.

My kid, for the record, gets to eat the candy a piece or two at a time until the dregs eventually get sorted through and tossed -- by then it's usually just some rock hard gum, tootsie rolls, and broken starlight mints.

Man, now I'm gonna be all grumpy at Halloween wondering which parents are the "tossers".
post #239 of 275
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Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
To me throwing out something you personally have paid for is way different than throwing out in essence someone elses money.

Growing up ToT for me we ate everything we could that night to the point of nausea many times not because it would be thrown away if we didnt but because it was fun. All part of Halloween that I am passing on to my kids. The only candy I throw out is the kind no one will/can eat here. But 99% of it if the kids dont eat it I will and enjoy every bite

How is letting kids have lots of candy one time, either all at once or spread out over weeks, in 12 months going to cause a problem? Baring allergies it just isnt a big deal.
YES! exactly. I am happy to loosen up a bit on my otherwise picky food choices and value I place on nutrition for Halloween. My kids can gorge for a night or two, eat candy for the next week or two (if it lasts that long) and it's not going to turn them into a diabetic. Sometimes I think good intentions get a bit extreme. Trick or treating is about the candy, folks. Regardless of where you live. If you have that big of a problem with it, then don't participate.

comparing this thread to the happy meal toy one is silly b/c at least then the children had a choice as to whether or not they wanted to eat their mcnuggets. Tossing the uneaten ones in the trash on the way out of the Playplace is a bit different then letting your kids trick-or-treat with intentions of trashing all of the candy they went around ringing doorbells to get.
post #240 of 275
we're in new zealand currently, where they don't really *do* halloween at all, and this thread is making me really miss our old neighborhood where one friendly neighbor handed out snack bags of potato chips to the kids, and snorts of whiskey in dixie cups to the familiar parents (and more on topic, I hate whiskey, so dh got two, because it would be rude to throw away her gift! ) and there was a fireworks display at the park at 8 pm sharp where the kids all got sparklers and dodged rogue fireworks . the closest neighbor to the fireworks served hot apple cider... it was such a great neighborhood!

now my husband works at weta (lord of the rings, king kong, etc) so they decorate one big office building (in a massive old house) with all kinds of crazy ghoulish models and such, and the kids trick or treat around there, but outside of that (because so many north americans work there) halloween doesn't really exist here much... we had ONE tot'er last year, and we didn't even go out because we were told that nobody would know what we were talking about and might get mad at our demands for candy!
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