Hmmm, I am actually not a very compassionate person. I suppose it is on the list of virtues I would like to improve upon and incorporate more into my life, but I'm not at all sure this situation calls for compassion. As well, I don't feel sympathy is in order either. I think these parents have made very specific choices... albeit different than ones I would make, but sympathy isn't in my radar.
I'm not so sure my feelings were overtly 'negative', but even if they were I don't know why I shouldn't have them. That is why I posted, so I could gain clarity.
Just because they are your feelings, doesn't mean they are appropriate for this occasion. I admire the fact that you're able to be honest about your personality; knowing that about yourself though, take some time to think about why this is really bothering you because honestly, if I saw a family that was truly hungry, even if it was because of someone in the family not pulling their weight - which I'm not convinced is the case here - I would feel a desire to help, to reach out to them and at least let them know that I'm concerned. I'm not trying to attack you here (I give you a lot of credit for not taking offense at anything posted and actually thinking about what everyone said), but it seems like you have feelings that are so...uncaring, or maybe feeling a little superior, that it's stopping you from seeing the real issue.
If the behavior is the issue, address it. If the food is the issue, address that. But it seems like it's really their lifestyle that is getting to you and honestly, that's none of your business. No, you don't have to allow their children to run roughshod over you and your home, but like it or not we only have control over what goes on in our own homes. Do you think the children are in danger or unsafe? I don't get the impression that you do. If not, you have two choices: 1. reach out to them in friendship and see if they need help or 2. lay down some guidelines for when the kids are in your home and send them home if they don't respect the rules. I guess a third would be to stop having any contact with them if you honestly can't deal with it anymore.
Sometimes life doesn't go as planned and maybe this family is having a harder time affording the goodies that kids want on one income than they anticipated. But going through tough times as a child is not a terrible thing, nor is is deprivation.