Anyone have blues/anxiety?

[sammyloo]

When my son was born, I was overwhelmed with anxiety that he would get sick and focused a lot of energy on keeping people's hands clean, staying home, etc., etc. He didn't get sick until he started to move around and grab toys on his own. With my second baby here now, it is impossible. My toddler goes to school and I have to take him out in the world - I am so worried they will both get sick. I am so worried about them all the time that it is really getting me down - I believe this is a form of "baby blues" since it is so overwhelming - it isn't depression, it is just really intense anxiety. Anyone else?

[saffrongirl]

I am definitely worried about the baby getting sick. I've never been too worked up over germs in general in the past. My thinking has been that exposure to germs usually builds up our body's resistance and works to help our immune system for the next time we're exposed. I'm no doctor but that's how I've rationalized it. However, with the advent of "new" bugs (h1n1), I'm definitely more aware and anxious for new baby and my preschooler. We use @urell a lot although I know there's controversy over whether this is actually creating new bugs. We're also smart about where we go - no McD playlands or other places where lots of toys are shared. It's definitely a balance that has to be found or you'll drive yourself nuts. I try to remind myself of the amazing benefits of breastfeeding and how that's helping her as well...

[kismetbaby]

For me the anxiety has been about getting it all right. . .and feeling so responsible for this little person.

But the crying has been even worse. I'm not a crier, but ever since my milk came in I can't seem to stop. I just cry at everything. . .and the BF challenges haven't helped this. Often when I nurse I just cry and cry. I feel a little better today so I hope that this is just hormonal and will balance out soon.

[rebeccajm]

Awww, huge hugs to you ladies. I just cried a few minutes ago because Sawyer vomited all over me for the first time. I really am lucky he hasn't had reflux so far, I guess I fed him a little too much. It just caught me off guard, and my 2 y/o was right here being a 2 y/o.

I am pretty worried about germs, too. Of course h1n1 has me quite concerned. I have one in 3rd grade, and it has been all over the schools here in town. I figure it's just a matter of time before we all get it. I just wish it would wait until the babe is a little older.

I'm also a little depressed because I feel like I can't get around and do the things I want to do, housework and such. I'm concerned about my bleeding, and I've been having that sensation like my uterus is going to fall out when I walk much and every time I try to go #2. It's a very scary feeling. I guess it's because I pushed 3.5 hours. How long until that goes away???

[Julia24]

Hugs!

I was always under the impression that I never had this - but now with Charlotte, I really DON'T have it and I'm convinced I did with the first two. I was so cry-y with them. Stressed and worried about EVERYTHING.

I have a 2nd grader and a preschooler AND my husband is a high school teacher and coach - so we have a LOT of germs coming into our house. Charlotte had a cold at 1 week old. All three girls, actually. I'm the only one still coughing- it takes me a long time in the colder months to clear out the mucus.

Anyways, I'm hoping we can keep h1n1 away until C is 6 months old, and then all catch the nice mild version going around, yk? I want my munckins to have some immunities to this darned thing before it gets stronger!

We're using hand sanitizer as well - I know it's not good all the time, but we rarely use chemicals in our house, and I'm taking this as an extenuating circumstance and not thinking twice. Come next spring, I'll go back to my natural products, but for now - I'm trying to keep them all healthy every way I know how. (vitamins and kefir for the big girls too!)

[acemama]

ME!! I admit I am basically a big mess. UGH. I really don't like PP hormones

[diana_of_the_dunes]

I'm not sure what I'd call mine, but I've definitely got something... I get stressed out when too many people come to visit in one day, but instead of dealing with it, I'll just go into another room and cry (thankfully has only happened once). Then last night I had a meltdown because DH wanted to go over to his parent's to use their jigsaw. Yesterday was his first night going back to work (works midnights), and I thought it was awfully selfish of him to sleep all day, then abandon me in the evening too. I didn't handle that one like a rational adult either...

But in between "incidents" I don't feel sad, or stressed, or anxious. I'm a little concerned about taking Ethan out because an 11 year old girl in our town just died of H1N1. Yeek.

[skydancer]

I think I fall into the anxiety category. I sometimes feel like every day is a huge juggling act and the fact that I survived is an accomplishment. Four little people just seems like a lot to keep on top of and I feel like there is never enough of me to go around. I don't remember feeling this way with any of the other transition times.

Every day does seem to get better, though. I'm finding that I can manage it all most of the time and the times that I don't, nobody seems to notice or mind anyway because the things that are not done are really only important to me (dh wouldn't notice if the vacuum didn't touch the floor all week, but I certainly would).

[deymm]

Zoloft is a wonderful little blue pill.

[StrongFeather]

I am in the depression club. Post Partum was hell for me and DH. Now that I am past the 6 week mark, I am not sure what to make of it., Mostly I am still feeling resentful that DH gets to go on about his old normal life. I feel liek he doesn't put the baby first enough (like when he's holding him and playing video games at the same time WTF??) And DH feels that I don't give him enough credit for going to work every day and paying th ebills..I am not sure how to fix this one.

So stressed out? Yes Depressed? Yes. Anxious? yep..

[confustication]

Originally Posted by StrongFeather

I am in the depression club. Post Partum was hell for me and DH. Now that I am past the 6 week mark, I am not sure what to make of it., Mostly I am still feeling resentful that DH gets to go on about his old normal life. I feel liek he doesn't put the baby first enough (like when he's holding him and playing video games at the same time WTF??) And DH feels that I don't give him enough credit for going to work every day and paying th ebills..I am not sure how to fix this one.

So stressed out? Yes Depressed? Yes. Anxious? yep..

The adjustment to being parents can be really hard for even the best marriages. We all have expectations of the way things 'should' be, and then we find how they are, and it doesn't always mesh.

I also find that a LOT of dads don't engage much with their babies until they are older and more able to interact.

My DH is often holding a kid and playing a video game. I learned to roll my eyes, and zip my mouth because telling him how to parent always results in his losing confidence and doing LESS, not stepping up to do more. If the child isn't in immediate danger, I walk away and let them sort it out.

He's learned to be an amazing dad- I offer advice occasionally in the 'this works for me' sense, but I really try to support him and never criticize. Of course, our older son ate breakfast sitting beside his dad at the computer this morning, so it's not a perfect world, but he had real food, and attention, and they looked at cool videos together... both were very happy. Not perfect, but it worked.

DH still doesn't do very much with DS 2 though- and I don't expect that he will for another couple months, he loves them, but it really uneasy with them when they are tiny.

[sammyloo]

I agree about letting dads find their own way as long as it is safe - but that only applies to dads for me - I tell in-laws. etc. exactly what I expect AND the added bonus is husband supports me in these situations because I never do it to him! He tells me that between us he thinks my anxiety makes me crazy, but to the rest of world he is in my camp...I'll take it!