Having a crisis in confidence!!

[Gracerenee]

I am having a confidence crisis. Here is my situation...

I am 23 weeks and I have had 3 non-medicated hospital births.
Girl 1: 6lbs. 3oz./3.5 hrs. pushing/venthouse/ episiotomy/4th degree lac.
Boy 1: 7lbs. 10oz./ 27 min pushing/ episiotomy/ 4th degree lac.
Girl 2: 6lbs. 8oz. / 13 min. pushing/ episiotomy/ 2-3 degree lac.

When I went for my 19 week ultrasound, LO was already measuring nearly 3 weeks ahead even though my dates are certain. (This has never happened to me!) I already feel him in my ribs and have trouble with shortness of breath!! So the seeds were planted.. what if this is a really big baby? (I am a very small gal... only 4'11")

Then yesterday at 23 weeks I failed my one hour glucose screen.... more big baby fears! Add to that I live 45 minutes from the nearest hospital with maternity services... which I wasn't too worried about until all these thoughts about a big baby.

I am so good at encouraging everyone else not to worry through the little hiccups, and I am not normally a worrier myself, but it is so hard not to second guess things when you are taking the responsibility for you child's safety entirely on yourself! Especially since we are so far from the hospital if something were to go wrong.

I think I need a pep talk ladies!!!

Guess I just need a little pep talk!!

[Astraia]

Did you extend the episiotomy? What position were you pushing in? Were you pushing with an urge or was it directed (short pushing time makes you think you pushed as you felt like it)? When you tore subsequent times, were they new spots or along the old scars?

There are some things that can help reduce tearing- push when you have an urge, keep your hands down there to help ease the baby out, push in a different position (sidelying is good for babies that seem to shoot out), etc.

And if you're homebirthing it's possible that you'll be more relaxed and at ease in your own environment which could help reduce tearing as well.

Also a lot of babies hit growth spurts, so maybe this LO is big now but will even out in growth later on in your pregnancy.



Try not to worry too much! I'm sure you'll have a beautiful homebirth. Have you talked it out with your midwife? Does she have any suggestions on reducing tearing?

[ShwarmaQueen]

No freaking out!

My babe was measuring 2 weeks ahead at 20 wks and is now right on! Keep repeating to yourself, "u/s is just a rough guess, u/s is just a rough guess, u/s is just a rough guess....."