I have to get this out somewhere to people who might understand. Ever since I had my baby (13mo) I can't stand to nurse my toddler (32mo). The first week I couldn't control myself when they both nursed, I felt like a wild animal that was being held down and taken advantage of. I would push her head away from me and growl and then she'd cry and I'd cry and apologize and hold her close and nurse through tears and shuddering at the feeling. It got better after that but now that her latch has changed I'm getting those feelings again, not as strong though. She touches my boob while nursing and I cringe and roughly push her hand away before I can even think about it. I can't sleep with her nursing (I co-sleep with both of them) so I have to ask her to stop. Sometimes when I just can't take it anymore I'll ask her to stop and she'll refuse and shake her head and not let go and it makes me want to scream and cry and if I take it from her she gets scared and confused and then needs it more and I feel terrible and end up nursing her more with my teeth clenched and my muscles all tensed up until she finally stops! I want her to stop nursing at night, I just want her to stop. I forcefully weaned my son @2.5 because everyone around me said it was gross and damaging to him (I was a single mom, no support and I didn't want to wean him) and I really wanted to let my dd wean on her own but this is driving me insane. Her latch is different and she leaves teeth marks in my nipple now, it doesn't hurt but it feels so different from my baby nursing. She would nurse constantly if I let her but i limit her to a few times a day and she nurses about three time at night. The daytime nursings are usually fine but I feel so different and out of control at night. I know if I was reading someone else posting this I'd think "Wow, weaning would be better than acting like that to your toddler" I guess I'm just looking for experiences, can this get better? Should I night wean her? I'm know I'm asking the wrong ladies about weaning.... I just want your thoughts.
post #1 of 9
10/7/09 at 1:28pm