Hm, can someone help me with this?

[Moonchild77]

Hi, I got this from the STAR website, it is a question in the quiz, but I do not understand the answer, why are 1, 2 and 3 not good??

Each STAR tool can be used effectively or ineffectively. Read the situation below and check the response that illustrates an effective (or correct) use of the tool.

Situation: My 6-year-old son, Wally, whines whenever he wants me to do (or get) something for him. When I say “No,” he whines louder until I give in or blow up. For example, dinner was half an hour away and he wanted a cookie.

Tool 4: Active listening.

Responses: Choose one:

“You really wish I would give you a cookie.”

“You want a cookie right now.”

“I see you are frustrated.”

All effective.

None effective.

Bummer! This choice lacks a feeling word.
Bummer! This choice lacks a feeling word.
Bummer! This choice lacks a statement of the “problem.”
Bummer! The first two choices lack a feeling word. The third choice lacks a statement of the situation.
Correct
Select one of the answers, then click on Submit my answer.

And this one (maybe it is the fact that it is in English and my native language is Dutch, ... but I am just not sure this is what would "word"with my son:

Each STAR tool can be used effectively or ineffectively. Read the situation below and check the response that illustrates an effective (or correct) use of the tool.

Situation: My 6-year-old son, Wally, whines whenever he wants me to do (or get) something for him. When I say “No,” he whines louder until I give in or blow up. For example, dinner was half an hour away and he wanted a cookie.

Tool 5: Grant in fantasy.

Responses: Choose one:

“I wish you could have a cookie now.”

“Wouldn’t it be fun if the whole kitchen was filled with cookies and you had to eat your way out.”

“You can have all the cookies you want.”

All effective.

None effective.

Bummer! This is a statement of the problem, not a grant-in-fantasy.
Correct
Bummer! This statement is too possible to be a grant-in-fantasy. Grant-in-fantasy is more effective when it is clearly fantasy.
Bummer! Grant-in-fantasy is more effective when it is clearly fantasy. The first choice is a statement of what the child wants. The third choice is possible.
Bummer! The second choice is effective grant-in-fantasy. It grants the child what he wants and is clearly pretend

[newmoon2000]

To be honest, I don't know what the STAR tool is all about, but I see you haven't had any responses yet, so I'll take a stab at it.

Question 1: I think the answer needs to be a combination of using a feeling word AND stating the situation. None of the three choices do that. I believe the answer they are looking for would be, "I see you are frustrated because you want a cookie".

Question 2: I agree with you that option 2 probably wouldn't work with some children, but it's the best choice of the three. I'm not sure exactly what they mean by "grant in fantasy", I think the idea is that you want to engage the child in PRETENDING that they can have a cookie, but in a way that is so outside of reality that they won't confuse it with ACTUALLY having a cookie. Another example might be to say something like, "Yes, cookies are so yummy...if you could have a great big giant cookie of your favorite kind, what kind of cookie would you have? Do you think you could eat the whole cookie? Maybe you could roll it into the other room?" Something like that...

HTH!