MIL Vent thread

[mrscompgeek]

Ok, this has been coming for weeks now and today I finally had enough!
To start out we ask my MIL if they would watch our dogs when I go into labor since Im having a home birth and our dogs are very protective of me. I didnt think it would be good for the dogs to be here with the midwives in and out and the pool and everything. Well, no she said they cant watch them because our one smallest dog (malti-poo) doesnt like her (he is very protective of me and he nipped at her dress one day when she came into our house. He has never bit anyone and he doesnt nip at people anywhere else, only when they come into our house when Im alone) and our big dog (50# mix) is too big for her house. Ok, fine. Whatever. So I ask my mom to watch them and she was fine with it and we got that all arranged. No big deal. Yesterday MIL calls DH and says you will let me know when her labor starts right? DH was like no, we arent letting anyone know until the baby is born. MIL gets all mad because my mom will know when labor starts because she has to come pick up the dogs. WTF? YOU DIDNT WANT TO WATCH THE DOGS. . . if she would have just kept the dogs like we asked she would have known.
Then she offers her assistance in labor if I need her, like if it looks like my labor is going to be fast and the midwife isnt going to make it or something. Since she has had kids and would know a bit more about whats going on then DH or I she offered. I was like ok, thats fine. Today she calls to inform us that they decided to drive 8 HOURS AWAY to visit her brother and his wife because his wife is in the hospital. (And seriously, she has never gone to visit her brother since DH and I have been together. They arent close at all.) But if I start labor we are supposed to call them so they can come home and be here for it. Um, yeah sure. 8 hours away? Thats gonna help me alot of my labor goes fast.
I asked her earlier this week about helping me do some cleaning later this week if I was feeling too tired to do it and she said she thought she was "too busy" cause she just has a crazy week this week. Now all the sudden she isnt to busy to just up and leave for a couple days?? Seriously? I am beyond mad at her and I am seriously hoping baby comes while she is gone. I know shame on me, but honestly! Im so ticked! DH and I were going to stay home tonight from church and just hang out and relax since it could be the last time before baby comes but MIL informed DH that he has to go to church tonight because MIL and FIL teach a class of children and DH has to take their place and teach tonight cause they "have to leave tonight". Cant wait til tomorrow morning. Ruin my evening plans. . Thanks so much! Oh and right now DH is out loading a truck load of wood that FIL was supposed to come pick up tonight at our neighbors and it cant stay at the neighbors til they get home saturday. . Somehow that responsibility fell back on DH. How lovely!
Sorry for the rant. But I feel better now. Lol

[Serenyd]

Sorry! I know how aggravating they can be. With my last baby, she came over after I had the baby and picked up my older son. She kept harping on how dirty my house was, which I thought was totally inappropriate. DP called everyone before I had a chance to even deliver the placenta ... so I'm stuck with a house full of relatives and the umbilical cord hanging out of my vajayjay and she's harping about how I didn't clean up. Um, hello my baby was early, I was working full-time the whole pg, and I thought I'd have a few more days to pick up. There is a difference between dirty and cluttered, ya know? But she has the gall to come over and give me grief about my house, when she has three dogs in her house that are not fully house-trained and are constantly pooping and peeping everywhere! And Not Once did she offer to come over and help me clean up, even though she lives freaking next door to us! I finally had to ask DP to go over there and tell her to shut the h*** up and leave me alone about my messy house. You know, I never thought about it before, but then ensued the huge fight about her needing to wash her hands when she came over before she picked up the baby ... y'know cause I think she's such a dirty person and all ... lol. I CAN'T WAIT to see what drama she starts when this LO is born, she always comes up with something!!!

[tayndrewsmama]

Don't call her. I can't understand WHY people think that while a human being is coming out of a small hole in your body and you are in pain and mostly naked that you would somehow want them around. Seriously. WTH are people thinking. I get really aggravated with people lately who keep saying to call them and they'll come over and help. Yeah...right....like I want all these people in the house while something like this is going on.

I wouldn't even give it another thought and let her sit on it.

[gumby74]

I agree....don't call her. Truly, you aren't going to want her there. My MIL has already informed us that she has a bag packed and in the car ready to go. She is one of those people who takes over a situation and I am absolutely dreading having her here. I'm sure she will tell me everything I am doing wrong like she did when I had DS1. Grrrr. My blood pressure is rising just thinking about it.

[mrscompgeek]

Oh well she already knows she cant be here for the birth. I already told her that. But we werent going to tell them when my labor started, we werent going to call the parents til after the baby comes cause we dont want them to be calling wondering if everything is ok. . etc. Now that she is 8 hours away she says we HAVE to let her know when labor starts so they can be home when baby is born. I really dont want her to know because she is the type that will call constantly wondering if its here yet, if everything is ok. . etc.

[Gremco]

I still wouldn't call. If she wants to drive eight hours away, she can drive the eight hours after the baby is born. If nothing else it gives you more time to recover before seeing her.

[tayndrewsmama]

You don't *have* to do anything other than focus on you and the baby. I wouldn't call either. My sister keeps saying she wants a call when my water breaks, but I don't start labor that way. At least she has the excuse of not ever having had children. I think your MIL is being selfish and demanding and you don't need that at all.

[StephM76]

We don't call ANYBODY until after the baby is born. I wouldn't call her if she's the type that will call throughout your labor.

[pjs]

I wouldn't call her.

[Charlize]

I'd make it known how I feel, but that's just me. Her behavior, as well as FIL's, is ridiculous.

If it makes you feel any better, my in-laws are the same way. I was trying so hard at the hospital Tuesday night to be respectful and drop hints that I wanted them to leave, but they never caught on. Then they thought I would be okay with them dropping by for a long visit this evening and it being our first night home. Yeah right! Needless to say, I made DH call them and tell them they could come up to visit when we say so, not when they decide to.