Mama-Led Weaning Support Thread - Page 2

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by jjawm

Mind if I join? DD is almost 3. At 34 months, we were at the tail end of mama-led, very gradual weaning. She hasn't nursed in over 2 months. And me? I'm feeling horribly guiltiy about it, and miss nursing my little girl! She doesn't seem to mind, and never asks anymore, but I feel so bad. Should I reintroduce it? I doubt she remembers how. I know I was getting resentful of the nursing, and it was irritating me to no end. That wasn't good. Why am I second guessing myself? Dd is likely going to be my only child (not by choice).

guilt and missing it are two different things. if it's just guilt, i wouldn't offer, but if you genuinely want to nurse her again, i would offer. just my two cents.

great job either way. you have nothing to feel guilty about for weaning an almost 3 year old!

my daughter is almost 2.5 and i am lurking on this thread because i'm thinking about (possibly) starting to wean her around 3 if she's not cutting back more on her own. but i'm not decided yet.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by Love4Vayla

I would not reintroduce it at this point. I think she reached a milestone and it would be confusing for her to start nursing again. And nursing her out of guilt probably isn't the best idea. I would suggest that you find other really great ways to reconnect with her. There are lots of ways to show affection!!

I agree 100% with this. Nursing out of guilt when she doesn't "need" it isn't going to do anything but confuse her.

I seem to have one of the youngest babies on this thread. DD is 12.5 months. I'm only working on night weaning but still feel a lot of guilt about it. It's going so well, though, that I have to trust that I'm doing the right thing for us. If she were up wailing and crying and pulling on my shirt for nursies, I would feel much worse. Instead, she's sleeping from 9 or 9:30 until 4 or 5 am. Somehow, with taking away this crutch we are all able to sleep a little better. But I still have guilt b/c she is so incredibly young.

[NlGHTgirl]

I am interested in this.... but uncertain.

She is 28 mo. and teething. The milkies seem to soothe her. She can be distracted during the day? but she gets incredibly fusssy. She doesn't even ask for the milkies. She has no idea why she is fussy... but mommy knows. as soon as I give up, and give her milkies, she is the happiest child again!!!!!! What to do??!

I am Manic Depressive Bi Polar, (although stable at the moment) I was supposed to take medicine agian soon. I could lose my source of income as well. I have not been on medicine in two yrs. .... They may take away my income anyway. So, not sure it matters. "EVERYONE" else wants us to wean. I get no support really. I would like to wean when she is done teething the 4 new teeth on the bottom and two on top (all at one time! ) wow! she really is overwhelmed.

THanks for the thread.

I'm not sure what to do yet. I went through so much, to narrow it down to naptime and nighttime breast milk... and now.... to lose all that work????? and have to go back to weaning by Decemeber anywya. why bother? breast milk for one more mnth?

[Teenytoona]

I'm no expert, NlGHTgirl, but if you need to wean, at 28 months, I don't think anyone can fault you for it. A healthy momma is what any child needs most.


Ok I'm joining this thread. I've looked at it a few times and wonder. DD is almost 20 months. I've not actively done anything weaning wise, but am starting to wonder if it would help our relationship. DH thinks, too, it might help her be less, demanding - almost rude- when it comes to me. DD's a pretty temperamental girl, but I notice that she generally tends to be less cranky around other people. I wonder if I did away with ah-ah, that she'd not be so demanding. She goes all day without nursing, since I'm at work, and seems fine. Is usually a fairly happy camper. We nurse when we get home, sometimes, like last night, I nursed her three times in a row. She was pretty cranky about it too, until a certain point, and then once she got her fill, I guess was a-ok.

Some nights she hardly gets up to nurse, other nights it's mommy, mommy, mommy. She's sleeping on a mattress on the floor now so she can get up if she needs to. Sometimes she'll just knock on the door to come in and fall back asleep with us, other times she calls for me, fewer times, she sleeps all night. Perhaps I should start sending DH in to cozy up to her for a few minutes to get her back to sleep. We've never really nightweaned, but it seems that lately there are fewer nights that she wakes up, and fewer times on those wake ups. Crazy thing is, I still wake up frequently expecting to hear/have to do something.

I don't dislike nursing per se, but I do dislike how demanding she is when it comes to nursing. Maybe it's time to slow it down.

[arelyn]

Another really gradual weaning mama here

DS is 26 mo and only nurses to sleep (nap and night) and on and off through the night. I have no idea how much because it doesn't always wake me. Often I'll wake in the morning and find a boy sleeping at my breast and wonder how all that happened without me noticing.

I really enjoy nursing this much but I am SICK of eating gluten free. The other day I had three malted milkballs and he skipped his nap nursing and he still got sick the next day. So, I don't know what to do. It seems mean to take away his beloved nursey so I can have my beloved crusty bread and flakey pastry. He really does love nursing too. When I ask if he's ready for nursey-nite nite or nursey naptime he does this great little dance and sprints to the bedroom singing "Nursey, nursey!!!!" so I don't think I'll have the heart to cut him off. It seems silly o take away his healthiest food so I can eat mostly junk foods (the crusty bread is the only thing healthy that I can't make GF). So, there's my rant. Thanks for listening!

[HappyMommy2]

Oh my gosh - I just posted this same thing! Sorry for the duplicate mamas!

[Sihaya]

We had to nightwean more suddenly then I wanted to. I'm 8 weeks pg and started spotting last Saturday. After 3-4 days of spotting and my mw putting me on bedrest, it became clear that the spotting increased after DS nursed at night and pretty much disappeared during the day when he wasn't nursing. So, after one night where he woke up at 5am and didn't go back to sleep until 7am, DH and I decided to send DS with my mom to her house an hour away. We're going to have him stay there for a couple of nights to ease the transistion and then no more nursies at all when he gets back

I'm really upset that it has to be this way, and angry at myself for getting pg when I knew we weren't ready to wean yet (this pg was unplanned), but he's 22 months and I think he'll be okay in the long run. In good news, I've had pretty much no spotting since the last time he nursed and my mom said he did really well the first night. Here's hoping the transition is as smooth as possible

[welsh]

update

So it's nearly been a week since I last nursed DS (26 mos). He's doing great. Asks maybe once a day but doesn't seem that bothered when I refuse.
He does giggle and try to sneak his hand up my shirt like he could trick me into nursing!!
We're having lovely cuddles that I'm enjoying so much more because he's not pestering me for 'nip nip nip'
Considering though that he was only nursing in the early hours of the a.m (we were cosleeping), and I didn't *think* I had much milk, I am quite uncomfortable.
I've got some plugged ducts and have spent today with cabbage leaves in my bra (which really works btw!).
I feel a little bittersweet but I needed to do this in order to be a better Mama.
Good Luck everyone!

[Maela]

I will join. DD is 27 months, and I am feeling ready to wean completely, but am waiting until January because I just had a baby. I don't want Dd to associate weaning with DS's arrival. Right now, she only nurses for a few minutes before bed each night.

[Surfacing]

Oh Mamas, I'm soooo happy to have found this thread!!! We are TTC #3 and I am definitely interested in nightweaning dd2 soon. She is 22 mos. old. I am so ready to be done with nursing her back to sleep at night when she wakes up a million times. And now during the day I sometimes ask her to wait until I finish making supper or whatever and THEN nurse her. Before I used to drop everything and nurse.

The thing is I feel really guilty about saying no sometimes to nursing, especially when I see how sad it makes her. It's like her Beloved has Rejected her. But she is starting to accept it now.

Tonight I was just ALL TOUCHED OUT (kids have been sick and lying on me for 3+ days and today I didn't get a break AT ALL). I just couldn't deal with nursing anymore. I offered dd to rub her back which she was NOT happy about. Dd had a cry and then asked for her Daddy. He went in and lay with her until she fell asleep.

I feel like this transition is possible for us. I just have to steel my nerves and do it because I really want to do some weaning. I think I want to have completely weaned by the summertime. Originally I thought I'd want to tandem nurse but now, no.

Best wishes to all in our efforts. We love our children and have to make decisions that are good for us and them.

[BarefootScientist]

A all around. It seems some of us need it.

Last night/early this morning I was so irritated with my DS. We were still technically doing "one time" daybees at night, but I often tried to hold him off until morning. Now I am officially done with the one time daybees at night. I am just sick of him waking up and asking for them. I am willing to go through the couple nights of him being upset to hopefully get to the promised land of him not waking, or waking and quickly going back to sleep. That's what happened when we moved down to the one-time daybees - he started sleeping right straight through until 4ish am. Last night he was up at 5 and I was just done. I should have warned him first but I just told him basically to forget it, no more daybees in bed. Wait till mommy has the coffee. He eventually went back to sleep with minimal crying but lots of tossing and turning. Anyway, hopefully we will be completely nightweaned in a few days! Then probably focus on nap. The daytime nursings are not bothering me much yet, he still has up to 4 or so per day, counting bedtime.

Good luck to everyone!

[tammylsmith]

It's been almost 24 hours since our last nursing session and I feel so relieved! I thought that weaning would be all tears, but ddm who is 29 months, had started to cut back on the length of nursing time. I got a flu-like virus and was in bed yesterday with a fever. I am also 4 months pregnant, so the nips aren't very happy at the moment anyways, and she has this awful habit of torturing one while she nurses the other. I have been able to successfully negotiate the end of this... but since I had a fever and was uncomfortable I thought I'd try stopping completely (we were only down to a couple of times per day anyways) so I told her "the wubbies are ouchie today." and gave her warm milk in a sippie cup instead. She reacted much better than I though. Though she tries to sneak a hand down my shirt here and there... I wore 2 shirts to bed last night... she smiles and seems happy and understanding. I give her lots of snuggles. I am so happy to see that I might have found a happy way to bring this phase to a close.

[BarefootScientist]

DS is fully and completely nightweaned! From 9 pm to 8 am or so. I am still enjoying nursing in the daytime but I am soooooooo glad to be done at night.

[anotherpeanut]

oh i'm so gald this is here! my ds is 22 months and has been night weaned since 13 months (I was losing my mind). I'm newly pregnant and do not want to tandem nurse my children (I have nothing against others doing it, its just not for me...I think I can only handle one at a time honestly). DS currently nurses 3 times a day, morning, nap, and night. I'm sad that this time will be ending but also thankful that we were able to make it so far since we had such a difficult time getting started. I'm glad I'm not alone in this journey!

[brightonwoman]

I am not currently weaning, but I did push DS to wean this last spring and thought I'd share my experience.
I had always figured we'd nurse until 2ish, but he had no interest in quitting so I just went with it. He was still in our bed and knew how to help himself to the boob, so he was nursing several tiems a night (I didn't realize how much until we did wean and all of a sudden he started eating these huge breakfasts!) Honestly this next time around I plan to start moving baby into the crib (but still in my room) by around a year, and hopefully nightweaning around the same time. I love co-sleeping for the convenience of it, but as the kiddo gets to be a toddler the bedsharing is hard on my relationship with DH, so I want to start the transitions earlier next time...
Anyway, I got pg when DS was 25m, and I figured to nurse through the pregnancy and then tandem--I thought it would be easier on DS to 'share' rather than have to give up the nursing (but let the baby have it) since he was so attached to nursing. I had always had very sore breasts in pregnancy, but was not experiencing painful nursing so I didn't worry about it. Then one day DH said you know, maybe you should wean him now and he'll forget by the time the baby comes... I actually posted a thread here asking other mamas about their experiences with tandeming vs weaning the toddler. I also talked with my mom (who had done it both ways herself).
Anyway, my final conclusion was to wean him (completely) over the course of about a month. So it wasn't cold turkey, but it wasn't super gradual either...I did it in several stages and spent 3-6 days in each stage. (I blogged about it and would be happy to share the posts with anyone who is interested--just PM me since it's a UAV to post my link ) The short version is that I weaned him at 28m. He was not happy about it, but he wasn't a crazy wreck either, you know? He cried about it a few times and got mad at me, but he accepted it.

Incidentally, as we cut back the nursing (and then stopped) my nipples got more tender...so by the last few days of nursing it was painful. I guess it was a matter of what they were used to, and without the regular use they got less tolerant...

Now it's been almost 5 months since the weaning, (baby is due pretty much anytime). In the last month or so DS has developed a fascination with my breasts. He is constantly shoving his hand down my shirt and telling me that he wants to "just hold the nurns." He's asked me to take off my bra so he can hold them (he's a very verbally precocious 2yo ) One night I was snuggling him in for bedtime and he pulled up my shirt and discovered that I was wearing a nursing bra (I don't have many regular ones left!) so he unhooked it and nuzzled with my breasts for a few minutes. I was half asleep and didn't notice at first, then I realized that he was mouthing the nipple--I looked down and saw that he was trying to nurse, but he very clearly seems to have forgotten how to latch. He sortof smacks his lips on me a couple of times and then matter-of-factlly announces "the milk is all gone, I drank it all gone" and goes back to just cuddling.
I'm not sure exactly what will happen when the baby gets here. I've tried to tell DS that the milk will come back when the baby comes, but he always just repeats "I drank the milk all gone" so I don't know if he believes me. I suspect that when he sees the baby nursing he will want to try it some more himself, and I think I will let him--if I'm correct about him forgetting his latch then I figure he'll be unsuccessful and get over it before too long. Perhaps he will conclude that his milk is all gone and that only [baby's] milk is in there. He has started drinking cow milk (which he seems to really like) so he may not actually like the taste of breastmilk anymore, since it's so much sweeter. i'm just playing it by ear!!

[BarefootScientist]

Thanks for sharing your experience!

[NlGHTgirl]

thank you

Thank you brighton woman!!!

[waldorfknitmama]

Nightweaning while babe is sick?

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

Hmm, my DD is much younger. I still have a bit of guilt about nightweaning her (she just turned 1) so I would love support. I hope I can both give and get support in this thread!
I will say that DD is an always has been a very crappy sleeper. She would wake anywhere from 3-6 times during the night, and then get up for the day at 6 or 7. I woh part time, and I have been dragging myself everywhere since she was born.
I was practically counting the days until she turned one so I could start gently night weaning. I wouldn't do it earlier. I knew she needed the milk.

But, so far, so good. I decided I wanted no nursies b/c 11 pm and 6 am, no matter what it takes. DD and I bedshare and DH sleeps in the living room. So far, one night I had to get up and rock, and that was torture, but I knew that if I gave in and nursed, I would be in this situation for much longer and I desperately need to get some sleep.
Last night was good. She slept from 10 til 4. When she woke up, I snuggled her in my arms and she fell back asleep. She woke up again at 7. I call that success. We nursed immediately upon waking (my boobs were so engorged) and then she had some cereal for breakfast.

I hope it goes well. I hope she starts sleeping better. I really, really need to get some sleep.

Other than that, I'm still "playing it by ear" as to when we will wean completely, but I feel like it will be mama-led. I will be gentle, of course, but plan to wean by the time she's 2. So I'm happy to find this thread.

Me in a nutshell! My lo is 11 mo and so far the night weaning is what we are working on. I'm sure I'll finally give up nursing when he is 2ish but I'm really needing night time weaning support. I didn't even think of nightweaning my
1st until he was almost 2, but this baby can wake up anytime between 3x-30 no kiddding. I am exaustede! However we we were doing well for a while (he was sleeping for 4 or 5hrs!) then he got sick and didn't have the heart to say no. Now I have to nightwean all over again How do you all handle sickness? give in and start over or be firm? What are good comfort measures for sick kiddos who are on the younger side of weaning?

[waldorfknitmama]

Originally Posted by welsh

I am happy to see this thread! I have started our weaning journey differently to the way I thought I would...
DS is 26 mos and before we went away for the summer he was nursing to nap, to go to bed at night and from 5am on and off until we got up.
Suddenly the nursing to sleep was not working as the sedative it previously was.
So, I just toild him that we won't do it anymore, just cuddles and kisses, songs and books at bedtime.
He fussed for 5 minutes the first night, longer the 2nd night and we were done! He'd ask for 'nip' most nights but I'd say no and he'd roll over and put himself to sleep.
I was ecstatic with this breakthrough!

Next, we had a really busy summer and were outdoors alot so often nap would be in the car or stroller so no 'nip'. If we were in bed though, he would ask and I would give it.

Since we got back home, the past few weeks he's resisting his nap big-time. I am hesitant to believe that he is transitioning out of it because he's always tired after lunch. Even 'nip' won't send him to sleep 9/10 times. We're having quiet time with a book for an hour if we're at home.
Any experience of this Mamas?

On the plus side, he is falling asleep in his own room (another breakthrough with no CIO or anything unpleasant for him) before 7.30pm because he is exhausted due to the lack of napping. Bedtime had been getting later and later. He usually wakes between 1-4am and comes into our bed.

So I need to get rid of the morning nurse-a-thon. I cannot sleep through it. He falls asleep and then 5 mins later, 'nip nip nip'! Drives me crazy. I am leaving it a few weeks though because he's been through alot of change; travel, visiting relatives, Daddy always travelling with work, all in the past few months, poor guy.
I am his only constant and I want to take away his beloved 'nip'!!!

Sorry, but it does kind of sound like your lo is transitioning to no naps. ---yeah it really sucks, AND they WILL be tired maybe about the same time you would have put them down, but I'm sure it's just going to get harder and harder to get him down. For me and many other mamas it's much easier to put a lo to bed early with no fuss and it's usually easier to put them down at bedtime becuase they are tired. It's always hard esp. when it's your 1st and you want to do stuff while they nap. But if you have another baby, you may always have one up all the time. This may work to your advantage if you don't want nurse to go down for nap and bedtime.

[waldorfknitmama]

Hello mamas, I sucessfully nightweaned my lo! It was soooo gentle, basically I told him ahead of time that we were not having nursies until the am. Then when he wanted to nurse I told him not until the am, and I basically hugged him to sleep! He wanted to be close to me, so he layed on my chest and hugged. It was so sweet, with minimal tears. Perhaps he was more ready last night then when I tried a while back. Here's to happy weaning babies!