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Mama-Led Weaning Support Thread - Page 5

post #81 of 130
Glad this thread got bumped again. Over the holidays we got dd2 a Big Girl Bed and started with nightweaning. The first couple of nights she wasn't really happy about it but eventually I was able to comfort her back to sleep after several wakings. Then she got sick and I had to take her to ER... we got home at 4 a.m. and I nursed her freely *that one night!*... and now that we're back to nightweaning for a few she is VERY ANGRY!!!!

To tell you the truth, it is soooooooooooooo heartwrenching!!!!!!!!!! My little love! She is so loveable and I hate seeing how sad it makes her. She pushes me away, she's so angry. She won't let me comfort her. On the plus side, she lets her Daddy comfort her, which is a new thing at night. Definitely will be adaptive for the changing circumstances in 6 mos.

I am sticking to the cici's sleeping at night and cici waking up in the morning when we can nurse again. I just feel so sorry for the little kid. It breaks my heart but must be done!!! With my history of depression and anxiety, I cannot be nursing both a toddler and NB at night. I need *some* sleep or I can't function, and that's just BAD NEWS for our family.

Also on the plus side, we are still daytime nursing and I am still letting her nurse to sleep for her naps on the weekend. So that's loveable. Sigh. Growing pains. It's okay. Gotta be done.

Good luck to all! Updates anyone else?
post #82 of 130
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahz5 View Post
Mel, I think I missed how you finally broke the naptime association - did he just stop wanting it or did you do something more active?
It must have been a miracle. I just stopped letting him nurse down to sleep, and he was very restless and angry for a few days and would not settle down for naps (as evidenced by my pleading question upthread) but after a few days he got over it. He wasn't really asking for nursing. That wasn't the issue, it was more like he just wouldn't settle down. But once he got used to the new routine (I lie down with him now and sing him the same song every day) he was fine and now he goes to sleep within 10 minutes or so. And the lying down and singing helps me to relax midday, which is always a good thing and something the nursing wasn't really doing for me.
post #83 of 130

nightweaning

My DS is 12 months old and and I am really getting worn out/irritated at how much he nurses at night. We cosleep because when he was about 2 months old, he was really colicky, and caffeine sensitive(didn't figure that out until about a month later) and I was having my own sleep issues. I would lay awake at night for hours..the only thing that would allow me to get 5-6 hours of sleep was benadryl. I figured it would be easier to just nurse the baby when he woke up if I happened to be sleeping at the time. If I had to deal with him waking up when I finally fell asleep, I would go all night without sleeping. Anyway, I got those issues figured out finally, but he got so used to sleeping in bed with us that all the progress we had for crib sleeping was down the drain by the time he was 6 months old. I had no intention of cosleeping, although now I like it. He's now 12 months, and only sleeps for an hour or two max in his crib before waking. I nurse him back to sleep and put him back in his crib. He lasts usually about another hour, then wakes again. That's when he gets in bed with us. I need to break this cycle. I don't want to wean him fully, but I would like my night back. I need advice on how to nightwean. I really don't want to give up sleep, but realize that I may have to do that to make it work
post #84 of 130
MrsBone--try Jay Gordon's nightweaning plan (just google it). It's very effective.

We nightweaned DD just after her 2nd birthday back in November. Then, over the holidays, we took advantage of all the busy-ness to get her down to where she only nurses first thing in the morning and right before her nap. It was pretty amazing--she was a total boobaholic before then but gave it up really easily. Now when she wants closeness with me she asks to snuggle and I just eat it up

I am 14wks pregnant with our 2nd and don't want to tandem nurse. I'm ready to stop nursing DD but I don't know how to cut out the last 2 nursing sessions. I think I need to be proactive with the napweaning before my milk dries up (usually happens around 22 weeks) because otherwise I fear she'll give up napping altogether. I'm hoping that the morning nursing will just drop itself naturally when my milk is gone. I really don't know. Any ideas for me?
post #85 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by superfastreader View Post
MrsBone--try Jay Gordon's nightweaning plan (just google it). It's very effective.

We nightweaned DD just after her 2nd birthday back in November. Then, over the holidays, we took advantage of all the busy-ness to get her down to where she only nurses first thing in the morning and right before her nap. It was pretty amazing--she was a total boobaholic before then but gave it up really easily. Now when she wants closeness with me she asks to snuggle and I just eat it up

I am 14wks pregnant with our 2nd and don't want to tandem nurse. I'm ready to stop nursing DD but I don't know how to cut out the last 2 nursing sessions. I think I need to be proactive with the napweaning before my milk dries up (usually happens around 22 weeks) because otherwise I fear she'll give up napping altogether. I'm hoping that the morning nursing will just drop itself naturally when my milk is gone. I really don't know. Any ideas for me?
Wow. I was just hoping to post for support, and this is my post. Except it's my son, same age (also 2 in November), and I'm 14 wks on Friday.

I actually just dropped those two nursings abruptly two days ago, and it is really upsetting. It took from September until mid-December for ds4 to accept being night-weaned. It was horrible.

Now, so quickly afterward, he is crying and pushing me away because I absolutely cannot continue nursing. My milk has dried up at four months with every other pg, but this time, it was at one or two gulps maximum by 8 weeks (really weird for me...) and since then has gradually reduced from that to nothing at all- not even a sip. So, ds4 has been instead of sucking nothing, munching.

This is very unpleasant; it's as if he's lost his latch. I has been painful for me to nurse since I was 5 wks pg, so I've been less available to him for that reason, but now I feel like I need to scratch my eyes out when he nurses. When I would usually nurse him for comfort, I hold and sing and rock without nursing, and at bedtime, when before (while pg this time) I'd let him nurse for a couple of minutes each side and then just massage him, sing, etc..., now I refuse him altogether but still do the other things, if he'll let me (not tonight ).

It's heart-wrenching. The other three boys all self-weaned. I feel so terrible refusing ds4. He's weepy and less emotionally resilient right now too, and he doesn't always accept my comforting because it's not nursing. Ugh, I hate the idea that he is feeling rejected. He's only 26 months old and he's clearly not ready to be done yet.

Is there a positive way to frame this so that we're not both feeling so sad?

Thanks for this thread, mamas.
post #86 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBone View Post
My DS is 12 months old and and I am really getting worn out/irritated at how much he nurses at night. We cosleep because when he was about 2 months old, he was really colicky, and caffeine sensitive(didn't figure that out until about a month later) and I was having my own sleep issues. I would lay awake at night for hours..the only thing that would allow me to get 5-6 hours of sleep was benadryl. I figured it would be easier to just nurse the baby when he woke up if I happened to be sleeping at the time. If I had to deal with him waking up when I finally fell asleep, I would go all night without sleeping. Anyway, I got those issues figured out finally, but he got so used to sleeping in bed with us that all the progress we had for crib sleeping was down the drain by the time he was 6 months old. I had no intention of cosleeping, although now I like it. He's now 12 months, and only sleeps for an hour or two max in his crib before waking. I nurse him back to sleep and put him back in his crib. He lasts usually about another hour, then wakes again. That's when he gets in bed with us. I need to break this cycle. I don't want to wean him fully, but I would like my night back. I need advice on how to nightwean. I really don't want to give up sleep, but realize that I may have to do that to make it work

I don't know, MrsBone. I don't think every kid can nightwean. I've always been jealous of others' success stories. DD has never done well with any of our nightweaning attempts, we tried at 14, 18, 20 months. At almost 23 months she still nurses 1-2 times after going to sleep (we still co-sleep, but we're giong to start her on her own bed here soon). She really really fought nightweaning. She'd scream and cry. Dr Jay Gordon's method includes rocking gently back to sleep, patting on the back... Oh no! DD would just not have that, she screamed and cried for hours (we'd rock her, hold her, pat her back after laying her down) - we got less sleep while trying to nightwean. Only a few days of it and we'd give up, it was never as easy as in those instructions. In fact, if I sing any of the songs I used to sing to her to try and calm her down while nightweaning, she bursts into tears. I'm afraid it was traumatizing for her to attempt nightweaning.

But I am pretty sure that a good dinner or snack before bed helps decrease the nightwaking. Everytime DD eats well at dinner, she sleeps more solidly. Some people suggest a cup of cow's milk, if you do cow's milk. Otherwise, I've seen a good snack suggested.

That said, I think I've decided to cut back on our weekend sessions. During the weekdays, she nurses in the am, right after we get home, going to bed and in the middle of the night. I'd love to have the weekend schedule be the same. It's going to take some effort, because she loves ah-ah, but I'm starting to get tired of it. Nothing horrible like I can't stand it, it's just wearing me down. If I'm in sight, she expects to nurse on demand. But she can go without it well enough. I have no idea how to do it (esp with naps, she loves nursing to sleep for naps). I'm afraid it might result in a temper tantrum, but most things do with her, so what's one more, right? So how do you cut back?
post #87 of 130
Hello - new to this thread, and so glad to find it! Not sure if this topic has already been covered but here goes....

My 2.5 yr old is throwing tantrums because I refuse to nurse her at night and first thing in the morning. We cut out bedtime and nighttime nursing around 6 months ago, and cut out morning wake-up nursing a few months ago. She's allowed to nurse after breakfast and pretty much whenever she wants during the day (except in public, but she never asks then anyways). These extreme tantrums just started around a month ago, and while they might be triggered by my refusal to nurse, I'm certain that they're related to her feeling overtired/stressed/etc., and I'm working on getting to the source.

My question is...should I let her nurse if she's so terribly upset that she can't get a grip? If she was asking for a cookie, the answer would be clear. But she's asking - no, pleading, begging ("pleeeeeeaassse mommy can I have nursies") - for the one thing she knows will help calm her down.

thanks for any insights...
post #88 of 130
hey mamas!

I haven't read the whole thread (yet!) but I'm about 7 weeks pregnant and I think I'm ready to wean my 2 year old.

I said when I got pg. I'd wing it and nurse as long as we were both happy, but my nipples are killing me and I need to sleep more (not that he'll necessarily sleep, I'm just hoping LOL)...

but I have absolutely NO idea how to begin! he still nurses to sleep for nap (when he takes one) and bed, and at least 1-2 times overnight, and once or twice during the day, especially if he's tired or upset. you know, normal, right?

so who has advice for me? or a book I can get? or something?

thanks mamas!!
post #89 of 130
So, about 3 months ago (at 12 mo) we nightweaned, it went very smoothly. DD's last nursing of the day is 9:30 or so, and then she sleeps until about 3 or 4 when she wakes up and needs to be rocked, or just rolled over.

I wish she didn't wake at all but it's much better than it used to be and I'm really trying to see the positive instead of the negative!

Anyway, lately, I've been feeling pretty resentful of nursing during the day. I just feel so...done. She is 15 mo now, and I really wanted (ideally) to go to 2, but I don't see it happening. Not with how I'm feeling. I'm *trying* to get nursing down to 3 times a day - am, nap, and bedtime. Right now, we are at 5 or 6 times a day. (those times, plus in between).

Also, I find that with those in b/w sessions, I'm impatient for her to be done. I ask her, "Almost done?" in a nice voice, and pop her off and have her, "say bye bye" to the nursies. I'm hoping this isn't cruel. It seems to be a nice way for me to sort of keep her from chewing and comfort nursing for 15 min after she's done drinking. She usually waves bye bye, and asks for one more sip, and then she's off running again.

When I pull her to my lap and she lifts my shirt and starts whining for nursies, I give her lots of hugs and tell her, "not till naptime," or "Not till bedtime, " and offer her some milk or water in her sippy. I'll read with her or play with her instead, so she still gets my undivided attention. So far it's working pretty well, but it's not foolproof. Sometimes while we are playing she throws the cup and still asks to nurse, and I (usually) give in. I guess I need to be more consistent?
post #90 of 130
I have a 10 month old after reading all of your posts I'm starting to dread weaning! My DS stopped wanting to nurse after only 2 months old so I was pretty determined to nurse for the first year with my DD. She took to it like a champ and then when I wanted to try to introduce a bottle(with breast milk) at 6 weeks she refused. I just wanted to be able to get away for a little while every now and again but she made it impossible. She still doesn't take a bottle well and no one but me can put her to sleep. I'd like to start taking some classes here and there but I have no idea what times to schedule or anything till I start weaning. What feedings are the first to go? She nurses to bed around 9 with 1-3 wakings during the night. She is not one to wake up and nurse first thing the morning. Nurses before 2 naps and usually once or twice in between. I really want to just start the process in another 2 months or so but I'd like to be done, or at least down to just a couple a day around 18 months.
post #91 of 130

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Edited by BabyA'sMom - 1/29/11 at 4:00pm
post #92 of 130
Thread Starter 
I guess my only tip would be to decide on a number of nursings per day that you are comfortable giving, and then gradually decrease it by cutting out one feeding at a time. Like, for example, in my case, I've decreased from 2 times in the morning and two in the afternoon to 2 times in the morning and 1 in the afternoon, then one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and so on. But we did this very VERY gradually. We've been working on it for months and months and it has been almost completely painless that way. So I'm not the person to talk to about less gradual weaning.

So...as for us, DS has not nursed since Wednesday! Do you think he is weaned? He did ask for daybees in his sleep last night. I kind of wish he would nurse one more time, because the last time I wasn't really paying attention and savoring the moment...wasn't thinking it would be the last time.

Of course maybe he is not done yet, just taking a break. Who knows? I'm ready to be done anytime but I am also ok with one nursing session a day or so for another month or two if he wants it...so I guess I'm fine either way.
post #93 of 130

....


Edited by BabyA'sMom - 1/29/11 at 4:00pm
post #94 of 130
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyA'sMom View Post
I was thinking about designating a nursing chair. That way I could say how many times a day she can nurse, and then set a timer with the one minute warning beep. I'm thinking that she's become more insistent because I've been shortening the sessions.

Any tips for accomplishing this would be greatly appreciated!
A specified place for nursing sounds like a great way to start the process!

DS is nursing right now! I guess he wasn't completely done. Off to savor the moment.
post #95 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
I guess my only tip would be to decide on a number of nursings per day that you are comfortable giving, and then gradually decrease it by cutting out one feeding at a time. Like, for example, in my case, I've decreased from 2 times in the morning and two in the afternoon to 2 times in the morning and 1 in the afternoon, then one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and so on.
I've been doing it this way and it has taken time, but we're down to 3-4 nursings a day, instead of 7 or 8. It's great. I'm so much happier and I don't think Nora even notices!

Barefoot - I'm so glad you got at least one more chance to savor the moment!
post #96 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesbentink View Post
I have a 10 month old after reading all of your posts I'm starting to dread weaning! My DS stopped wanting to nurse after only 2 months old so I was pretty determined to nurse for the first year with my DD. She took to it like a champ and then when I wanted to try to introduce a bottle(with breast milk) at 6 weeks she refused. I just wanted to be able to get away for a little while every now and again but she made it impossible. She still doesn't take a bottle well and no one but me can put her to sleep. I'd like to start taking some classes here and there but I have no idea what times to schedule or anything till I start weaning. What feedings are the first to go? She nurses to bed around 9 with 1-3 wakings during the night. She is not one to wake up and nurse first thing the morning. Nurses before 2 naps and usually once or twice in between. I really want to just start the process in another 2 months or so but I'd like to be done, or at least down to just a couple a day around 18 months.
You will be surprised how much your LO's demand may go down in the next few months, especially once she starts eating more solids. My DS nursed at least that much at that age, and I think it was only a few months later that the random daytime (non-nap related) nursings got dropped for the most part. Plus your DD will probably go down to one nap a day in a few months too. Conceivably, your mornings and afternoons could open up a fair bit for your classes, with no pushing on your part.

Glad to have found this thread. I'll be back with our story later!
post #97 of 130
Anyone here have the situation where their husband is very annoyed with the continued night nursing of a near 3-year old? I want to quit nursing our DD to sleep at night, but I feel like my husband is just about to kick me out of the house for a week so he can wean our DD on his own.

He thinks I never want to quit, which is untrue, I'm just really sleepy...and never see the time when we can grasp the night weaning full boar and "get her off it" for good.

There's the going to sleep, then 1 or 2 times during the night, and still the 5am session, that lasts for nearly 2 hours. Our DD always says she wants me to sleep with her, and I will lay there with her until she falls asleep. But she's so used to nursing to sleep, I fear the only way to get her off it is to quit cold turkey, which will result in lots of screaming and crying for many nights in a row.

The last thing in the world I want is to mess up my relationship with her because of quitting "na". I'm afraid she'll resent me and not trust me. I keep telling her I'll always hold her and sit with her until she falls asleep, but how in the world do you quit night nursing???
post #98 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamiew View Post
Anyone here have the situation where their husband is very annoyed with the continued night nursing of a near 3-year old? I want to quit nursing our DD to sleep at night, but I feel like my husband is just about to kick me out of the house for a week so he can wean our DD on his own.
My DD isn't as old as yours, she's only 22 months, but I know my husband is kind of irritated with the night nursing.

Partially "just because", but there's another reason behind it also, given that we're in the middle of a divorce which will be concluded soon.

Given that he's fought to have shared custody of our children and will have them several nights each week, night weaning is pretty much a necessity. Even if that wasn't enough reason, I am kind of over it at this point too. She nurses so little during the day often that I don't feel like I have the supply to keep up with the frequent nursing she wants to do at night. I'm also all touched out given that she constantly wants to play, pinch and tweak the free nipple, which has started getting REALLY annoying.

I'm really torn about how to approach the night weaning. My husband isn't really very helpful with any of the parenting, especially not nighttime parenting, which has been a main source of problems. So generally I can't count on him for help at night. In a way that makes me wonder if it'll end up being a cold turkey thing on the nights that he ends up having our children, but that idea makes me feel bad and guilty too. I don't want to have my DD upset unnecessarily.

My DD is also really stubborn and strong-willed, and I can't even latch her off sooner (even using the tips from the No Cry Sleep Solution) at night (even when mostly asleep) without all hell breaking loose. During the day I can distract her, and we nurse rarely, mostly for comforting.

I have a special needs DS who is 4.5, and he spent the first 3.5+ years being an abysmal sleeper, and then also DD's nursing once she was born... I'm beyond frazzled and need my sleep.

If anyone's been through a similar situation, or who maybe has tips about a fairly quick way of night weaning, I'd love to hear it. I've been putting off the weaning to a large degree because I'm just not entirely sure how to handle or approach it, and I really don't have the luxury of a long period of weaning.


Marieke
post #99 of 130
^Oh, that just sucks. How long do you think you have until all the dust settles and she's spending nights w/her father?

Dr Jay Gordon's method only took us about 2 weeks to completely nightwean. Note, Nora still wakes up at night but she does not look to nurse. Not everybody has such quick success but if your LO is ready, it really doesn't take long and there isn't much of a fight.
post #100 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
^Oh, that just sucks. How long do you think you have until all the dust settles and she's spending nights w/her father?

Dr Jay Gordon's method only took us about 2 weeks to completely nightwean. Note, Nora still wakes up at night but she does not look to nurse. Not everybody has such quick success but if your LO is ready, it really doesn't take long and there isn't much of a fight.
2 weeks would be awesome.

I'm not entirely sure how ready she is. It seems, like others have mentioned, that a lot of the daytime nursing can be due to boredom or just being able to (climbing on my lap when I'm watching tv/on my computer and then just wanting to futz with my shirt). She can nap without needing to nurse down, as she'll go to sleep on her dad or will curl up in her armchair and go to sleep on her own.

She doesn't yet have her own bed, we co-sleep with her, though I do want to get her her own toddler bed soon, after I move. I think that sometimes less direct access to me helps with it. Though I still enjoy co-sleeping with her, she's not an active mobile sleeper like her brother was.

That said, she really does like to nurse, even if nutritionally there isn't much she gets from it, because I don't think my supply is substantial at all. When she's on my lap and my shirt gets lifted, she gets a huge smile on her face and laughs. At least the past day or two there has been a lot less of the nipple play, which has made it more pleasing for me.

I will have to look up Jay Gordon's method, it sounds like it might have interesting ideas.

I think the nights with her father will actually help, though I don't think my husband would be in for a fun time... but he he got off pretty easily the past 4.5 years In all seriousness, not having me around would probably make it easier to be consistent in stopping the drinking given the fact that there is no giving in when there are no lactating boobs around.


Marieke
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