I am so angry at him.. I need to vent... - Page 2

[littlehoneybee]

Will your little one take a pacifier? At least your nipples would get a break then. I know what you're going through. My son was a horrible sleeper until he was 2 1/2. He slept all the way through the night after night weaning. I had been reluctant to do it because that was my only way to get him back to sleep. It took three or four nights of just offering the sippy cup with water. Of course, once I got him sttn, I was pregnant with dd. She's a year now and I'm definitely thinking about night weaning. No way am I going to wait as long as I did with ds. I'm going on six years with no sleep and enough is enough.

[chann96]

I strongly suggest trying Hyland's teething tablets.My daughter was not quite as bad as your son, but she woke every 1.5-2 hours until she was about 18 months. It was at that point that I suddenly decided to give her the teething tablets right before bedtime. It was like night and day (LOL literally). She slept about 6 hours that very first night and never went back to her previous pattern. I felt like a new person. Looking back I realized her teeth had been bothering her all along.

Another suggestion I have found helpful is to give a small, high-protein snack just before bed. My 22 month old still nurses to sleep, but I still most nights give both kids a snack before bed. That protein keeps their blood sugar steady over night so they don't get hungry and wake up. A piece of cheese, some hummus, or a little bit of chicken (if he's eating that) are quick snacks.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by Violet2

Try a dream feed instead. Before you go to bed, nurse the baby. Usually they sleep through it but tank up for a longer sleep cycle. You can sometimes get 5 hours with a dreamfeed.

V

sorry, just had to laugh at this.. this boy doesn't sleep through ANYTHING.. I usually wake him up (unintentionally) when I come to bed at night and he nurses then.. Also had to laugh because we have gotten one 5 hour stretch.. EVER.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by chann96

I strongly suggest trying Hyland's teething tablets.My daughter was not quite as bad as your son, but she woke every 1.5-2 hours until she was about 18 months. It was at that point that I suddenly decided to give her the teething tablets right before bedtime. It was like night and day (LOL literally). She slept about 6 hours that very first night and never went back to her previous pattern. I felt like a new person. Looking back I realized her teeth had been bothering her all along.

Another suggestion I have found helpful is to give a small, high-protein snack just before bed. My 22 month old still nurses to sleep, but I still most nights give both kids a snack before bed. That protein keeps their blood sugar steady over night so they don't get hungry and wake up. A piece of cheese, some hummus, or a little bit of chicken (if he's eating that) are quick snacks.

We've tried teething tablets (still use them) and they don't let him sleep any longer, but they do help him calm down and fight sleep less.

That is a great idea about the protein snack, I will try that! He isn't much on solids yet, but he does like cheese!

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by littlehoneybee

Will your little one take a pacifier? At least your nipples would get a break then. I know what you're going through. My son was a horrible sleeper until he was 2 1/2. He slept all the way through the night after night weaning. I had been reluctant to do it because that was my only way to get him back to sleep. It took three or four nights of just offering the sippy cup with water. Of course, once I got him sttn, I was pregnant with dd. She's a year now and I'm definitely thinking about night weaning. No way am I going to wait as long as I did with ds. I'm going on six years with no sleep and enough is enough.

Nope, never took a paci.

Most nights I can tolerate the nursing, but it has just been worse the past couple weeks cuz we were all sick 2 weeks ago and Liam seems to be holding on to some chest congestion, and with the molars coming.....

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I just had a thought. Perhaps its something you have already tried, but humor me.

You said he wakes up as soon as you get into bed with him. What if you DIDN’T get into bed with him? Do you have an air mattress or something you can put on the floor next to your bed? So when you are ready to go to sleep, you can be near him, but not disturb him? This is just something I want you to himmm over, to see if the argument, that perhaps he needs his own space to sleep, holds water. If he goes a decent stretch with out you in bed, then perhaps it is something to think about?

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by Barbie64g

I just had a thought. Perhaps its something you have already tried, but humor me.

You said he wakes up as soon as you get into bed with him. What if you DIDN’T get into bed with him? Do you have an air mattress or something you can put on the floor next to your bed? So when you are ready to go to sleep, you can be near him, but not disturb him? This is just something I want you to himmm over, to see if the argument, that perhaps he needs his own space to sleep, holds water. If he goes a decent stretch with out you in bed, then perhaps it is something to think about?

this is a thought.. but we don't have another space for DH and I to sleep. Liam has his own twin bed in his own room, but with the gaurdrail on it it is a pain for me to get in and out of. Once he starts sleeping longer stretches I would like him to start the night out there. However, as of now, between the time he goes to bed (between 7-8) and the time I go to bed (between 9:30-10) he usually wakes 1-2 times.. so he is still waking frequently in his own space.

[Louisep]

Originally Posted by Barbie64g

I just had a thought. Perhaps its something you have already tried, but humor me.

You said he wakes up as soon as you get into bed with him. What if you DIDN’T get into bed with him? Do you have an air mattress or something you can put on the floor next to your bed? So when you are ready to go to sleep, you can be near him, but not disturb him? This is just something I want you to himmm over, to see if the argument, that perhaps he needs his own space to sleep, holds water. If he goes a decent stretch with out you in bed, then perhaps it is something to think about?

I recently tried this and it was worse than ever! I guess he really does need me to sleep at all.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Louisep, your little guy is a bit smaller, so he still may turn around. My little guy didnt really start to have different sleeping patterns until about 9 months.

Lady, I am fresh out of ideas for you. That was the last one I had. I wish I could come over and give you a full nights rest. But I bet you would be up every hour wondering how your little guy was doing.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by Barbie64g

Lady, I am fresh out of ideas for you. That was the last one I had. I wish I could come over and give you a full nights rest. But I bet you would be up every hour wondering how your little guy was doing.

Thank you, that is so sweet.

I would probably still wake up.. I wouldn't know what to do! Haha. DH has offered to take him on the weekends a couple nights, or half the night, but our house is so small and I will hear him cry and I will probably sleep worse without him beside me.

My MIL has offered to watch him overnight one night.. I think we are going to have an overnight trip for DH's birthday early December. Liam loves his grandparents and has gone to sleep for them several times so I think he will do ok.. :

[paulamc]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

this is a thought.. but we don't have another space for DH and I to sleep. Liam has his own twin bed in his own room, but with the gaurdrail on it it is a pain for me to get in and out of. Once he starts sleeping longer stretches I would like him to start the night out there. However, as of now, between the time he goes to bed (between 7-8) and the time I go to bed (between 9:30-10) he usually wakes 1-2 times.. so he is still waking frequently in his own space.

We got a latex mattress a few months ago, from Ikea so it wasn't too, too expensive. It's super comfortable, and yet DS's side of the bed doesn't move a bit when I get in and out or shift around. I do believe it's reduced the wakings a little. At least I can get in and out of bed without waking him, whereas I used to always wake him when I went to bed or got up to go to the bathroom. Another problem is that we share a comforter. If I tug on the comforter, he wakes up. I'm trying to remember to give him his own blanket and keep the comforter for myself, so this doesn't happen. It's definitely no cure-all for us (he still wakes numerous times at night) but I'm a lot more comfortable when I can move about and get in and out as I wish without fearing a wake-up. Still have to be careful of course, as he's usually quite close to me, but still, it's a help.

[tessie]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

Liam loves his grandparents and has gone to sleep for them several times so I think he will do ok.. :

That sounds as though he can sleep better but he knows he doesn't need to when mama is around. Honestly, I would let your husband take over for a week or so (at least for part of the night, you don't have to night wean fully unless you want to) and see how things go. As PP said sleep is an acquired skill and some babies need a bit of help acquiring it.

But I'd leave it until the teething is over and done with. (It's just taken me 15 mins to write this as I had to go and settle little miss grumpy teethy chops so I sympathise.)

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by tessie

That sounds as though he can sleep better but he knows he doesn't need to when mama is around. Honestly, I would let your husband take over for a week or so (at least for part of the night, you don't have to night wean fully unless you want to) and see how things go. As PP said sleep is an acquired skill and some babies need a bit of help acquiring it.

But I'd leave it until the teething is over and done with. (It's just taken me 15 mins to write this as I had to go and settle little miss grumpy teethy chops so I sympathise.)

yes he goes to sleep initially easier for others. it is when he wakes up and mama is not there that i am scared of. but i think i deserve one night, and he will be with grandparents who love him and will comfort him.

he does freak out in the middle of the night if DH tries to settle him. but usually goes back to sleep very easily for me. go figure.

[Louisep]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

he does freak out in the middle of the night if DH tries to settle him. but usually goes back to sleep very easily for me. go figure.

Same, it's like our DS has no idea who my DH is in the middle of the night!

[AirMiami]

Originally Posted by Nillarilla

My dd seems to have a similar temperament to your ds but she's only 7.5mo. I really don't think I can handle it for another 5 mos so I am changing things now. Here is my suggestion because it seems to be working for dd and definitely worked for my ds (different type of babe though).
1. Get a few nights of sleep in with dh taking ds so you have some reserve.
2. Find a space to put ds that's not in your bed but still in your room.
3. Start at night laying him down on his bed and reading him a story or singing him a song if he doesn't have the attention span for a story.
4. Nurse him but pop him off before he's sleeping. He may cry but really you are there and this is not detrimental to him.
5. Keep laying him back down and patting and rubbing his back. If he's getting terribly upset pick him up and soothe him (without the boob). Then once he's soothed put him back down and try again. It's going to be rough for a couple nights but if you are willing to night wean or nurse him when you come to bed and then no more until morning it probably will go better.
6. Get him a blankie or lovey and introduce when you are nursing and when you are cuddling before bed. Make sure it is present whenever he goes down for a sleep.
He needs to LEARN a different way to fall asleep. It's not CIO if you are there with him. He probably needs more sleep than he is getting because he can't fall asleep without your boob and like you mentioned is a light sleeper and your moving probably wakes him. He is going to cry and get angry but you just need to validate his feelings and be consistent. Hugs to you.
I always say go with what works and feels right. Your posts make it sound like it neither works nor feels right.

I have to say that this is all fantastic advice and I'm going to try all of it. Mine doesn't really need to nurse to initially fall asleep for the night, but she wants to get up constantly all night long to nurse and I can't take it anymore.

[coleybug]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

yes he goes to sleep initially easier for others. it is when he wakes up and mama is not there that i am scared of. but i think i deserve one night, and he will be with grandparents who love him and will comfort him.

he does freak out in the middle of the night if DH tries to settle him. but usually goes back to sleep very easily for me. go figure.

Don't worry too much...DH & I went to a wedding overnight 6 weeks ago (DS was just 10 months) and I was wringing my hands for weeks about it, even cried as we drove away...BUT he slept 2 THREE hour chunks for my mom. That's when I think I realized that I could do something about all of this. I used that night as a sort of "spring board" for putting him in his crib each night. It was rough at first, there were nights when he woke up the second his body hit the crib, but little by little it got better. 6 weeks later we are at the point where he goes down in his crib (nursed to sleep of course) for about 2+ hours every night. It's WONDERFUL! I actually have time for my older DS and even a small bit of time for me! I even read a magazine in my bed one night...I haven't done that in a year!