Don't think I can do this...

[Kutie.Pie]

My DS REFUSES to pee outside a diaper or something covering his bottom. He always pees in his diaper before I can get him to the bathroom whenever he wakes up from his nap or after feeding. And I tried timing his pees, and I went in the bathroom for 10 minutes and he wouldn't do a thing. I finally just put a diaper on him again.

It's making me completely frustrated and irritated and I'm not sure it's worth the hassle anymore. Neither of us are happy and this isn't a bonding experience. I don't know why he'll only pee in his diaper. He's peed on me when I've changed him and he's peed in the bath tub and didn't have a problem then. Am I doing something wrong?!

[Limabean1975]

Relaaaaaaax. Really! *Communication* is the important part of Elimination Communication. When you know he's peeing, make a cue sound (like pssss). (ie when he pees on you, in the bath, or you happen to notice he's peeing in the diaper or just peed - like the wetness is still warm).That's it. That's all you should do right now. Take a break from actually trying to catch the pees - it just doesn't work when you're unhappy and tense about it!

Some people don't even start till much later. You are ahead of the game already.

Truly, relax. Let it be.

p.s. I know some people will sit there and wait for 10 minutes, but to me, that was a recipe for frustration. If she did not (or does not now) pee within 30-60 seconds at the most, I give up and try later - even if that's just a couple of minutes later.

[hrsmom]

Every so often the phrase "the receptacle doesn't matter" comes up in this forum, and it's true. Especially when they're tiny tiny like that. Even just changing a diaper immediately (or as soon as you notice it's wet) is part of EC.

oh, gotta go

[Kutie.Pie]

Thank you sooooo much for your encouragement. It'd difficult, because DH isn't totally on board with EC. He accepts that I want to do it, but he seems a little skeptical about it all, and now that I've had a bad day with it, it doesn't help at all. I calmed down and now I feel awful and hope I didn't ruin EC for DS. Babies and children are so forgiving it's amazing what they put up from us. I also feel bad, because I lost my temper and starting verbally not being kind to him and I can't believe I did that. I'm afraid of hurting our bond. I want him to always know that I'll always take care of him and love him no matter what.

You ladies are a blessing for reaching out and encouraging me. I feel like I need to take a step back and go slower into EC. I also feel like I can actually still do it as well. I hate giving up on things. Thank you again for your help! =)

[Limabean1975]

Here's another one - if you suddenly realize his diaper is soaked and he's probably peed 3 times in it, unnoticed? "Wow, you peed alot! Let's get you freshened up!" Not "Oh no!" not "I'm so sorry baby!" ...keep it light and positive and relaxed.

[InMediasRes]

I've mentioned it before, but sometimes blowing some air across the groin is enough to make my baby go.

I also had someone suggest to use a pacifier or pee while latched on to help relax them to pee.

Or, if he doesn't go, take a "nakey walk" for 2-3 min and try again. If it doesn't work that time, give up for a while and try to relax before you start again.

Sometimes changing up the potty place can help. I moved to peeing in the sink at that age and it helped a lot. She loved watching herself in the mirror.

Best of luck, and just take a deep breath. You're still way early in the game, and you're going to have good days and bad days (and good weeks and bad weeks). They all eventually give up diapers, it's just about connecting with your baby now.

[hrsmom]

You haven't ruined the bond, you're right, they're very forgiving! And you're not the first mama to lose her cool during EC. I know, it feels awful afterward! I was going to say that I do recall times, especially at first, when I had to just put a cover over the diaper or put a disposable diaper on and just not think about pee for awhile. I definitely eased my way into full time EC. (And haven't always done "full time EC" either) It does help to have an idea ahead of time of what you're going to say, and keep talking to your baby. I remember telling my little one that "we value dry pants around here." I don't know why I said that, but that's what I would say when I changed her. Sounds like you're feeling better, and you are doing a great thing!

ETA: at least my little one has learned that I do apologize after I get huffy with her.... and I have learned a TON about how not to lose it!

[lisavark]

:

What everybody else said.

Just focus on the communication, not the location, right now. Your baby is *so* little still! I remember when DD was that tiny, I wanted EC to be perfect, and I always thought I was doing something wrong, and I drove myself crazy with it, even when I loved it. But really...it's all about communication right now. Just relax and enjoy! The *only* way to do anything "wrong" with EC, in my opinion, is if you and baby aren't enjoying it. It's supposed to be fun, not stressful! As long as you are spending at least some time every day being aware of elimination instead of entirely ignoring it, you're doing EC. No matter what form that awareness takes. If he wants to go in his diaper, just cue when you know he's going. And every time you cue while he's going, count that as a catch! (Then you can feel good about all the "catches" you're making, without stressing about where those catches are going.)

[sgmom]

Yep.

For the LONGEST time I just kept her in a cloth diaper with no prefold and everytime she pee'd I would tell her what she just did. I remember one time I was at the grocery store and I had her in a sling, wearing a disposable diaper. She got really fussy, then relaxed and I felt my hip get very warm. For a minute I was thinking "Why are you squirming?? Sit still!", but when I realized what was going on, I got really excited and I happily yelled "PEEPEE! YOU PEE'D!".

Oh, the looks I got... LOL! But my point is I stopped worrying about where the pee went, and I started concentrating more on the communication part.

I still occasionally carry her around (nowadays she tends not to pee while I'm holding her), and when I put her down she's almost guaranteed to let go. An easy catch.

[EdnaMarie]

You're not doing anything wrong. Maybe he likes the sensation of warm pee. Maybe it's chilly out and he can't pee while his penis is cold. You never know. I totally agree with the other posters that at this point, it's about being attentive. I was not able to make many catches at all until mine was 3.5 months and we're doing pretty well now, by my standards.