We only told about 3 very close friends about our homebirth before the fact. Not even our parents knew. After the fact, we were happy to share the news, but understandably got many questions. I decided to type up this note for friends and family to help explain how we decided to have a homebirth. Slideshow is at the end.
Why we chose to have a planned homebirth
First of all, I wanted to say that homebirth is not for everyone and I completely respect all choices that parents make for the location and birth attendants for the birth of their child. However, it is true that for healthy women, who are having a low-risk pregnancy with no complications, a well-planned homebirth is as safe as a hospital birth.
My outlook toward birth is that God specifically created women to give birth either on her own, or surrounded by a few very trusted people, such as her husband or familiar women in her life. This is how women have birthed since creation - or evolution, whichever you believe. (Only in the very recent past have unfamiliar medical personnel played a role in birth.) When the birth process is left undisturbed, it is an amazing process that shows how the baby and the mother’s body are in communication to bring about the most powerful thing that the female body can do. To me, it is an honor to experience, purely and naturally, this process that God designed.
Why is it difficult to experience pure childbirth in the hospital?
Having had two hospital births, I feel I can answer this question. There are several reasons. Most importantly, birth is a natural process, not a sickness or disease. With the birth of our first child, despite my nurse’s best efforts, I felt like a patient with a disease, and at the mercy of the doctor’s orders. When I arrived at the hospital, I was told to wear unfamiliar clothing (hospital gown), and given a hep-lock in my hand, just in case I should need an IV. The needle in my hand distracted from my ability to focus on breathing through the tough contractions, which was my pain management technique for labor. For my first three hours there, I had to lie down (not an optimal laboring position) and get hooked up to the Electronic Fetal Monitor (EFM) for 20 minutes each hour to check the baby’s heart rate. (There is much debate as to whether EFM’s give accurate readings and many believe it is much more accurate to use a hand held Doppler intermittently instead of the continuous EFM.) Fortunately, my doctor was rather accommodating to my wishes in that he only required 3 hours of the EFM and allowed the nurse to check the baby intermittently with a Doppler, for the remaining 5 hours of labor.
Let’s fast forward to the pushing stage, the culmination of the mother’s hard work. This is the point where, for everything to happen the way it supposed to, the mother needs to be completely comfortable with the people around her, relaxed enough to open her body and allow soft tissues to stretch the way they were designed to, and uninhibited enough to assume any position and express her efforts however feels right at the moment.
It is interesting that at this very moment, additional hospital personnel (not just the doctor and nurse I had been working with for the past several hours) arrive into the birthing room to “assist.” It is precisely at this moment, when the mother is feeling so powerful, yet so vulnerable to disturbances, that she needs familiarity the most. A “new” nurse to the room may think she is being helpful because her years of experience; however, her well-intended firm coaching of the mother’s breathing, pushing, and position only serve to tense up the mother’s body, causing it to work counteractively to the forced pushing she is trying to do in order to comply with the nurse’s orders. This is one of the ways that those painful and unnecessary tears happen, causing an uncomfortable recovery for several weeks. (If that nurse would have taken the time to look at my face, she would have seen that it was purple from pushing so hard, causing tons of little capillaries to burst all over my face.) [ I have several friends who are/were labor & delivery nurses and I realize many times your hands are tied by hospital policies – all of my nurses were wonderful, caring professionals - it’s just unfortunate to meet a new one while pushing.]
Even though my first birth avoided many common hospital interventions (IV, epidural, vacuum or forceps delivery, episiotomy, and C-section), I still found myself needing to grieve for the power and control that was taken away from my body as it was about to perform this miracle on its own.
The birth of my second child was completely different, although it also took place at the hospital. Our daughter was born 17 minutes after we drove into the ER parking lot. This illustration of her birth could applies to either a man or a woman. Let’s suppose you are lifting weights. You are a serious athlete or body builder. You are nearing the end of a 3 hour weight workout which has gotten progressively harder. Before that, you were at practice, so you started out quite tired. You are working on your upper body sets – say, overhead press, and you are completely focused. You are breathing very deeply, going to muscle failure at the end of each set, looking forward to each break you get between sets to rest. Then your coach throws a twist at you – you’re moving to a different gym for the last hour of your workout, but you must continue to work out while getting there. That’s right, walking out the door, in the 20 minute car ride, checking into the new gym, and walking to the weight room….you continue your workout. I don’t know about you, but that seems completely absurd to me!
A woman’s uterus is a very large muscle, and it works out continuously harder and harder with fewer and fewer breaks in between “sets” until the baby is born. The average laboring time for a first time mother is 14 hours, with the last few hours being the most difficult. The weight-lifting example above parallels the events of my second hospital birth, except that my labor was 5 hours total, with the last hour being the most intense. My body did the hardest work of labor while driving to the hospital, checking in at the ER, and walking up to the labor and delivery ward.
Our homebirth
For the birth of our third child, Bridgette, we strongly believed that birthing at home was the safest and most natural way to bring her into this world. That is not to say we did not take safety precautions. We chose a very experienced Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) who we felt very comfortable with. She is trained to handle just about any birth situation, and if not, she can detect the red flags in advance, to allow time to transfer to the hospital. We had a complete back-up plan in case hospital transfer was necessary.
While laboring in my home, I was surrounded by complete familiarity and my body was at ease, allowing the birth hormones to flow uninhibited to unfold into Bridgette’s birth. I was free to move about my house, take a walk in my neighborhood, eat and drink as needed, and take a warm bath when contractions became more intense. When the pushing phase began, I was free to change positions according to what my body was telling me to do. My husband and my midwives were there to support me, but my body was calling the shots. Instead of a nurse “coaching me” I had John, whispering in my ear, reminding me to “breathe, take your time, and push when your body tells you to.” Bridgette, all nine pounds of her, arrived into the world peacefully, gently, engulfed by her mother and father. My midwife and her assistant (a student midwife) waited on the sidelines, cheering us on when necessary, and monitoring mine and the baby’s vital signs throughout her birth and delivery. I cannot imagine a more perfect way to welcome a new little life into the world.
After the birth
After Bridgette’s birth, she was not whisked away from me to be weighed, bathed, or examined. She was never more than three feet away from me. After the midwife caught her, she placed her in my arms, and I was the first one to find out if she was a girl like we thought she was. That was a really neat moment for me, since with the other two births, the gender was “announced” to me by someone else. We waited until her umbilical cord stopped pulsing before clamping and cutting it. Through its pulsing, the placenta was still delivering her iron-rich blood and healthy vitamin and mineral stores. (There is growing evidence that delayed cord clamping can help prevent jaundice and iron deficiency.) My midwives examined her right beside me on the bed, then returned her to me so she could nurse. John, Bridgette, and I had time to bond while the midwives took care of cleaning everything up. My legs were exhausted and shaking from a pretty intense labor, so my midwives massaged my legs for me until they stopped shaking. John went downstairs and got 4 Mimosas for us to celebrate this brand new little life. All of the paperwork and exams were taken care of and the midwives left about three hours after the birth. They returned 3 days later to check on us, and will return again at 2 weeks and 6 weeks. It is so nice to not pack up a newborn and just stay home for a while.
http://s215.photobucket.com/albums/c...t=2efbd467.pbw
Why we chose to have a planned homebirth
First of all, I wanted to say that homebirth is not for everyone and I completely respect all choices that parents make for the location and birth attendants for the birth of their child. However, it is true that for healthy women, who are having a low-risk pregnancy with no complications, a well-planned homebirth is as safe as a hospital birth.
My outlook toward birth is that God specifically created women to give birth either on her own, or surrounded by a few very trusted people, such as her husband or familiar women in her life. This is how women have birthed since creation - or evolution, whichever you believe. (Only in the very recent past have unfamiliar medical personnel played a role in birth.) When the birth process is left undisturbed, it is an amazing process that shows how the baby and the mother’s body are in communication to bring about the most powerful thing that the female body can do. To me, it is an honor to experience, purely and naturally, this process that God designed.
Why is it difficult to experience pure childbirth in the hospital?
Having had two hospital births, I feel I can answer this question. There are several reasons. Most importantly, birth is a natural process, not a sickness or disease. With the birth of our first child, despite my nurse’s best efforts, I felt like a patient with a disease, and at the mercy of the doctor’s orders. When I arrived at the hospital, I was told to wear unfamiliar clothing (hospital gown), and given a hep-lock in my hand, just in case I should need an IV. The needle in my hand distracted from my ability to focus on breathing through the tough contractions, which was my pain management technique for labor. For my first three hours there, I had to lie down (not an optimal laboring position) and get hooked up to the Electronic Fetal Monitor (EFM) for 20 minutes each hour to check the baby’s heart rate. (There is much debate as to whether EFM’s give accurate readings and many believe it is much more accurate to use a hand held Doppler intermittently instead of the continuous EFM.) Fortunately, my doctor was rather accommodating to my wishes in that he only required 3 hours of the EFM and allowed the nurse to check the baby intermittently with a Doppler, for the remaining 5 hours of labor.
Let’s fast forward to the pushing stage, the culmination of the mother’s hard work. This is the point where, for everything to happen the way it supposed to, the mother needs to be completely comfortable with the people around her, relaxed enough to open her body and allow soft tissues to stretch the way they were designed to, and uninhibited enough to assume any position and express her efforts however feels right at the moment.
It is interesting that at this very moment, additional hospital personnel (not just the doctor and nurse I had been working with for the past several hours) arrive into the birthing room to “assist.” It is precisely at this moment, when the mother is feeling so powerful, yet so vulnerable to disturbances, that she needs familiarity the most. A “new” nurse to the room may think she is being helpful because her years of experience; however, her well-intended firm coaching of the mother’s breathing, pushing, and position only serve to tense up the mother’s body, causing it to work counteractively to the forced pushing she is trying to do in order to comply with the nurse’s orders. This is one of the ways that those painful and unnecessary tears happen, causing an uncomfortable recovery for several weeks. (If that nurse would have taken the time to look at my face, she would have seen that it was purple from pushing so hard, causing tons of little capillaries to burst all over my face.) [ I have several friends who are/were labor & delivery nurses and I realize many times your hands are tied by hospital policies – all of my nurses were wonderful, caring professionals - it’s just unfortunate to meet a new one while pushing.]
Even though my first birth avoided many common hospital interventions (IV, epidural, vacuum or forceps delivery, episiotomy, and C-section), I still found myself needing to grieve for the power and control that was taken away from my body as it was about to perform this miracle on its own.
The birth of my second child was completely different, although it also took place at the hospital. Our daughter was born 17 minutes after we drove into the ER parking lot. This illustration of her birth could applies to either a man or a woman. Let’s suppose you are lifting weights. You are a serious athlete or body builder. You are nearing the end of a 3 hour weight workout which has gotten progressively harder. Before that, you were at practice, so you started out quite tired. You are working on your upper body sets – say, overhead press, and you are completely focused. You are breathing very deeply, going to muscle failure at the end of each set, looking forward to each break you get between sets to rest. Then your coach throws a twist at you – you’re moving to a different gym for the last hour of your workout, but you must continue to work out while getting there. That’s right, walking out the door, in the 20 minute car ride, checking into the new gym, and walking to the weight room….you continue your workout. I don’t know about you, but that seems completely absurd to me!
A woman’s uterus is a very large muscle, and it works out continuously harder and harder with fewer and fewer breaks in between “sets” until the baby is born. The average laboring time for a first time mother is 14 hours, with the last few hours being the most difficult. The weight-lifting example above parallels the events of my second hospital birth, except that my labor was 5 hours total, with the last hour being the most intense. My body did the hardest work of labor while driving to the hospital, checking in at the ER, and walking up to the labor and delivery ward.
Our homebirth
For the birth of our third child, Bridgette, we strongly believed that birthing at home was the safest and most natural way to bring her into this world. That is not to say we did not take safety precautions. We chose a very experienced Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) who we felt very comfortable with. She is trained to handle just about any birth situation, and if not, she can detect the red flags in advance, to allow time to transfer to the hospital. We had a complete back-up plan in case hospital transfer was necessary.
While laboring in my home, I was surrounded by complete familiarity and my body was at ease, allowing the birth hormones to flow uninhibited to unfold into Bridgette’s birth. I was free to move about my house, take a walk in my neighborhood, eat and drink as needed, and take a warm bath when contractions became more intense. When the pushing phase began, I was free to change positions according to what my body was telling me to do. My husband and my midwives were there to support me, but my body was calling the shots. Instead of a nurse “coaching me” I had John, whispering in my ear, reminding me to “breathe, take your time, and push when your body tells you to.” Bridgette, all nine pounds of her, arrived into the world peacefully, gently, engulfed by her mother and father. My midwife and her assistant (a student midwife) waited on the sidelines, cheering us on when necessary, and monitoring mine and the baby’s vital signs throughout her birth and delivery. I cannot imagine a more perfect way to welcome a new little life into the world.
After the birth
After Bridgette’s birth, she was not whisked away from me to be weighed, bathed, or examined. She was never more than three feet away from me. After the midwife caught her, she placed her in my arms, and I was the first one to find out if she was a girl like we thought she was. That was a really neat moment for me, since with the other two births, the gender was “announced” to me by someone else. We waited until her umbilical cord stopped pulsing before clamping and cutting it. Through its pulsing, the placenta was still delivering her iron-rich blood and healthy vitamin and mineral stores. (There is growing evidence that delayed cord clamping can help prevent jaundice and iron deficiency.) My midwives examined her right beside me on the bed, then returned her to me so she could nurse. John, Bridgette, and I had time to bond while the midwives took care of cleaning everything up. My legs were exhausted and shaking from a pretty intense labor, so my midwives massaged my legs for me until they stopped shaking. John went downstairs and got 4 Mimosas for us to celebrate this brand new little life. All of the paperwork and exams were taken care of and the midwives left about three hours after the birth. They returned 3 days later to check on us, and will return again at 2 weeks and 6 weeks. It is so nice to not pack up a newborn and just stay home for a while.
http://s215.photobucket.com/albums/c...t=2efbd467.pbw
