Remind me this is normal...

[poiyt]

I have a 2yr old dd, and a 3.5month old dd. Lately dd#1 has become very difficult. She has become *that* child. She hits, she screams at me, she falls to the flor tantrumming...all the typical behaviour that everyone fears.

None of my friends 2yr olds did this - but I know its normal behaviour..because..well..it is? Isnt it?

I do try to stop it. We practice gentle discipline, AP..etc etc. I went through a bit of a rough patch, parenting wise, when dd#2 was about 2 months old. I yelled at dd#1 more than I wanted or ever expected I would, and I physically stopped her from doing things (like little things..touching computer, climbing on me..etc) whereas before we had done distraction, talking yadda yadda.

I have made a promise to myself never to be that parent again..but Im wondering if in that short period of time DD is starting to model my past behaviour. Ive been very proud ofmyself for how I handle these situations - I actually feel calmer when she is losing it, then I did when she would do something that was a simple irritation (like touch the computer). I think this is because when I would get angry with her I was really angry with myself for not being able to deal with things calmly..whole other story...

Anyways...this is normal right?

What are your tips and tricks for that spirited 2yr old who hits and screams and gets angry at the simplest thing....

[Wild Lupine]

Totally, totally, totally normal. Expected even. I'd worry about a 2 year old who didn't melt down at least occasionally (meaning, are they not developing a sense of what they do and don't want, are they afraid to express themselves, how will they learn to appropriately express their emotions if they never experience them or express them inappropriately, etc..).

The only things I found that worked with with my 2 yo were prevention: making sure she was rested, well fed, and met her emotional needs before she got upset. That is, when I spent time with the baby, I would then play with her before she got jealous. But nothing worked all the time, life's disappointments cannot be prevented entirely (nor should they), and remembering strong emotional expressions were entirely age appropriate helped me stay patient and respond empathically. Also that there isn't a magic bullet that makes this stage go easier or faster.

It sounds like you are doing wonderfully. Responding with empathy and patience. That;'s what she'll remember and learn from, not the few times you didn't respond the way you wanted to.