When I was pregnant, my goal was to breastfeed forever, cosleep, wear my baby, make homemade baby food, and be an unconditional parent-- oh and have natural childbirth, the hypnobaby way. Well, after 30 hours of labor I was forced to have a c-section. I was mortified. Then, two months after having my beautiful baby girl, I developed post-partum anxiety disorder and PARALYZING panic attacks. I reached a state of emergency when I was curled up in a ball at my mom's house after being certain I would be killed making a simple trip to the grocery store. I looked at my baby girl and couldn't even go to her to pick her up. Thank God for my mom! I've had a history of depression and some anxiety. I called my doc and he prescribed a pill that literally saved my life. The hitch was that I couldn't breastfeed while taking it. So I thought I would pump and get over this anxiety thing in a week-- I would just figure it out. But that didn't happen. Only now, 10 months later, do I go several days without taking a pill. But there I was, no natural birth, and no more breastfeeding. I was quite depressed and disappointed. And the magazine that I read with so much excitement while being pregant, Mothering, now hated me. On every page I turned to I felt like the devil himself for having to feed my daughter formula. I stopped reading it, and this has been the first time I've been able to visit the site for a discussion on co-sleeping, which I'm happy to say hasn't fallen out of my plans. I think that this magazine stresses being compassionate toward our children. Why doesn't that compassion show in its articles and extend to ALL of its readers? I have fallen short and I'm coming to terms with the fact that it was not my fault. I'm blessed to have a happy and healthy 10 month old. She has survived my formula ways-- and I've tried to simulate breastfeeding as much as possible (I don't bottle prop, I feed her most of the time, hubby does on occasion though, when she was an infant I had a lot of skin contact during bottle feeding, etc). Why don't you write an article embracing those of us who, b/c of a medical reason, have not been able to breastfeed? The compassion that I found was from Dr Sears Babybook.
Perhaps the years and experiences of meeting moms like me, or having something similar happen to yourselves, will soften you to those of us who are limited in what we can do, but still want the very best for our children.
By the way, I had to write this post after I saw a notice the discussion forms didn't want to host certain kinds of discussions. In that list, formula feeding was included next to physical punishment. Honestly. And I thought it was safe to come back to the Mothering forums. But there it is, the "we don't want you" in black and white print.
Perhaps the years and experiences of meeting moms like me, or having something similar happen to yourselves, will soften you to those of us who are limited in what we can do, but still want the very best for our children.
By the way, I had to write this post after I saw a notice the discussion forms didn't want to host certain kinds of discussions. In that list, formula feeding was included next to physical punishment. Honestly. And I thought it was safe to come back to the Mothering forums. But there it is, the "we don't want you" in black and white print.
