UPDATED---Don't know what I should say to MIL about this situation----UPDATED - Page 5

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by VroomieMama

Ok thank you all for your support. I guess, I'm just sad because I had dreams that my children would have a grandmother who would be involved in their life for a long time because my parents are already really old. And I only had a grandmother but I didn't know her very well because she died when I was young. I practically grew up without grandparents and my MIL treats my eldest daughter like this and I'm really disappointed with her. I am really hoping that one day soon she'll realize her mistake and change it.

Give up that hope, because there is nothing you can do to make it come about. She has to make the choice to behave like a human being. Then if she does come to her senses, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

You don't have to cut off ALL contact, though, if that would be unpleasant for you. Just limit it in a very serious way.

[lilyka]

honestly , and I know this is not what you want, but if you want a cookie baking, sugar sweet grandma go find one. there are lonely old ladies everywhere who would love to adopt herself a family.

and I don't think your MIL is a lost cause. but I do think for now the best thing to do is stand your ground. from a distance. If you send pictures make sure it is of all the kids together. if you send pictures of one child, make sure you send one of each child. if you say anything in an email ignore everything she said and just stay with the facts. "dd is doing well. had a great day at school today. the twins are cute as ever and growing so fast. dh and I are happy as lobsters in love. have a good day we love you too"

when she says stuff that is truely crazy (like about your parents. she has not talked to them. she has not.) roll your eyes and say "oh MIL. you are so silly" and move on.

[Cherry Alive]

Originally Posted by lilyka

honestly , and I know this is not what you want, but if you want a cookie baking, sugar sweet grandma go find one. there are lonely old ladies everywhere who would love to adopt herself a family.

This is a beautiful idea, and it is exactly what my folks did for us. The "adopted grandmother" we ended up with was a beautiful lady who was feisty and intelligent, but had an open mind and a huge heart. She was my stepfather's roommate when he was a very young man. They had met while volunteering at a playhouse. She'd tell fantastic tales of knowing him when he was a young man. She'd also tell great stories of her own youth and adventures over cucumber sandwiches, and let me stay the night in her beautiful old house. She made her income restoring antiques and paintings, and she was amazing at it! Her home was covered in them, and she'd also take ordinary objects and make them into new things. She was an awesome artist!

Sadly, she passed away 10 years ago from lung cancer (she refused to give up her cigs ). I miss her so dearly, and I will never ever forget her. I gave my DD her name as a middle name. If I had never met my "grandmother," I'd have been a completely different person—one who would not be as happy or healthy. Knowing her was a really big gift.