Do you think it's all about the attitude you approach the challenges with?
post #1 of 28
10/12/09 at 6:38am
A few months back my mom said, "wow, I don't know what people mean about the first year with twins being so hard."
Now, I know exactly what she meant. We had a fairly easy time with it. And the subtext was that twin toddlers were tougher than newborns, which for us is sometimes true. (Ignore that, expectant MoMs!)
What I said to my mom was, sure, our first year was OK, but remember:
- I had an uncomplicated vaginal birth and easy recovery
- they've been 100% breastfed, no formula mixing, cleaning and shopping
- no allergies, ear infections, colic, reflux
- No NICU time
- No problems, just healthy little girls that need a lot of attention and loving
And still I wouldn't say twins are easy. For me, luxury is folding clean clothes right out of the dryer and not having them sit in a wrinkling pile for a week. True luxury is having one on one time with a babe. I'm either at work or with one or both of my girls. Great, but it's a lot, especially when trying to do anything else.
Compared to many other twin moms, I have it "easy," and with the right perspective I might say it is. But there are too many times I collapse when the babies go down for a nap, depressed that my house is so dirty but too tired to do anything about it. I do consider myself lucky to have my girls, lucky things go so well with us, and lucky to get out on my own once or twice a month.
But no, it's not easy.
I wouldn't say my life is easy, but I have found that there have been many times in the past 2.5 years when the hardest part has been parenting my eldest. Individually, the trips have each been so much easier than my eldest. There have been long periods where the three of them together felt easy compared to him.
I think that the kids' temperaments have a huge impact on how easy or challenging things really are. Beyond that, my attitude makes a big difference.