Traumatizing the kids. - Page 2

[ann_of_loxley]

I think the idea that children being there will get 'traumatised' comes from the root feeling of pregnancy and birthing 'not' being a natural occurance in the world.

Fortunatly for us - we know different! lol

Of course if you personally feel more comfortable with your child not being there, then that is what is right for you. But I highly doubt a child would be traumatised but such a thing!!! They would probably think it was just as cool as watching your dog/cat have puppies/kittens! hehe or say 'eww gross' lmao - but deff not traumatised!

[langdonslady]

I worried about my daughter who had just turned 3 when our son was born at home (HBAC!), but the midwife, who had over 30 years experience at this, reassured us that a little preparation and support, and it is usually very positive for the kids to be part of it.
THey bond better with the new sibling, feel important in their family, and gain a positive view of birth as natural and healthy. And let's not forget that things can go wrong in hospitals too, so if there's a chance that something goes wrong, that's like the chance you take when you strap them into a carseat and start the engine. Life is still worth doing despite the maybes, but the maybes are not limited to homebirths, and in fact urgency and a sense of panic more often occur at hospital births, whether genuinely justified or not.

So anyway, there are some gorgeous books on homebirth for kids, one is Welcome Baby or something like that, and it shows a homebirth in winter, and shows the baby's head coming out while the mama is standing leaning forward. There are also very graphic books that show the placenta, the cord, etc. and of course birth videos of homebirths are very helpful.

My daughter was in good hands with the doula I kept on in addition to a midwife and her assistant midwife, and the doula took care of my hubby and daughter, and was sort of their hand-holder and facilitator. The birth happened from morning til just after lunch so our daughter was awake and involved.

And it all worked out very well. I wouldn't have had her miss it, if I had the decision to make again, and hope that someday she will have that basis for seeing birth as a healthy natural bodily function that should not be medicalized unless truly justified.

It's a powerful and rare experience for her to have had.

[JennTheMomma]

I would have your Midwife talk about this with the 2 of you. Our MW is very pro-children at the birth, she thinks it creates a special bond between the two siblings. I agree and our son will be almost 3 years old when this one is born, and I have been preparing him for it. Since I think birth is beautiful, I see nothing traumatizing about it.