How do you "not" do Santa? - Page 3

[sam1980]

DH and I will probably do my family's version of Santa vs. his. His family tells the children that he is real, even if they ask, etc.

My family never pushes Santa being real. We *knew* that he was make believe all along. My mom said she didn't feel right lying to me. That being said we were allowed to get into the spirit of things and some of our gifts said From Santa, but it was all done very wink-wink, nudge-nudge.

It's sort of hard to explain, and I don't think I am making my point well. Basically, Santa to us was equivalent to Mickey Mouse. We enjoyed him, had some Santa ornaments, knew all the stories, sang the songs, etc, but we never for a second were led to believe that some fat guy in a red suit was really going to come in the middle of the night and leave presents.

To be honest, I think I may enjoy the Santa thing more than some because I don't have some horrible memory of finding out he wasn't real. We knew all along, so it allowed us to enjoy the myth of Santa without putting much stock into it.

Also, it gave my family the opportunity to teach us what "being Santa" meant (ie, giving to others, etc). We did a lot of charity type things for others who were less fortunate. We also spent a lot of time enjoying what Christmas meant to us as Christians.

[noobmom]

Originally Posted by lilyka

I also wanted to point out that the whole santa thing was really traumatic for me. not finding out he wasn't real. that was actually a huge relief. I mean I knew why my mom didn't get me a ton of expensive gifts. vause we were dirt poor. but what broke my heart was that santa gave all the popular kids who already seemed to have everything even more of everything and I still got nothing. Santa loved everyone at school but me. and I was good. So so good. I was really a practically perfect child because I thought if I could just be good enough and follow all the rules everyone would like me and I would be loved and santa was just one more person who I was not good enough for. It really sucked.

That's sad--and I bet you weren't the only kid that felt that way.

We don't do Santa. DS was 2.5 last Christmas and we just never really had Santa come up. We didn't label any presents as coming from Santa and they showed up under the tree as I wrapped them, rather than all at once over night.

My family never did Santa, but I don't feel like I missed out on the magic--then again I'm not very sentimental. I do remember getting chewed out by my friend's mom for telling him there was no such thing as Santa. But he was already at an age where people tend to figure it out and he said himself at the time that he knew there wasn't a Santa anymore, he just went along with it to get more presents. My friend and I laugh about it now.

[Dov'sMom]

Originally Posted by New_Natural_Mom

This is an issue for me. I don't want to "do" Santa and my DH is accepting of how strongly I feel about it. The problem - his family has a big party in December every year where they pay someone to dress up like Santa. He comes in the full get-up *with bells on* and a bag full of presents. They force everyone to sit on his lap for pictures. It is awkward. DS will be 20 months this Christmas and I am not sure how this will play out in the future. There is no opting out since this is the 1 time a year he gets to see some of these people. There are a lot of other kids there who believe so we can't really be vocal about it.

So while I lament the blatant commercialism of the exercise (most gifts are tacky gross stuff like plastic toys, etc.) I don't want to ostracize my DH from his family and be the scrooge.

I don't see why this should be a big problem. Kids go to birthday parties where they've hired a clown or a magician to do all sorts of crazy things and the kids don't go home thinking the clown or magician really exists like that and is the same all over the world. This time he will be 20 months -- I would tell him in advance that there will be a funny man at the party to help give out presents and show him pictures, mostly so that he wouldn't be scared. Next year is plenty of time to explain how people like to make up this game about Santa and how it's a costume just like his Halloween costume.

[PatienceAndLove]

I just never really addressed the issue. I have no idea what XP does for Christmas with DD. We do St. Nicholas Day, but that is also my birthday, so it's a big fun festive day.

Last year all her presents were wrapped and there was no big "look what Santa brought you!" We are big into Father Christmas, though. Have no idea why. DD picked up a statue in a store once and asked me who the man was, because he looked like St. Nicholas.... that's why! ROTFL. Just hit me. She asked who he was, and I said "Father Christmas". No further explanation, I didn't see the need, and she didn't ask. Although she always asks for a new Father Christmas every year.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Dov'sMom

I don't see why this should be a big problem. Kids go to birthday parties where they've hired a clown or a magician to do all sorts of crazy things and the kids don't go home thinking the clown or magician really exists like that and is the same all over the world. This time he will be 20 months -- I would tell him in advance that there will be a funny man at the party to help give out presents and show him pictures, mostly so that he wouldn't be scared. Next year is plenty of time to explain how people like to make up this game about Santa and how it's a costume just like his Halloween costume.

I agree with all that, but I wouldn't be okay with the forcing people to sit on Santa's lap aspect of it. I do Santa pictures with my kids most years. I really like having them. I even nudge a little bit, and try to find ways to get them to do it...but if they really don't want to, they don't have to.