opinions on co sleeper for first time parents to be

[Snapdragon]

HI,
I am expecting my first baby at the end of February and just now starting to think of the practical preparations.
My husband and I sleep in a full size bed- which is the right size for two people who like to sleep close, but may be too crowded for a baby to be in as well.
So we are trying to figure out if we should get a bigger bed, or get one of those co-sleepers that attaches next to our bed.
I thought this one looks nice:

http://www.armsreach.com/pages/shop-pv-c10-31.html
We really have no idea what will feel right about this! What are your opinions on these types of co-sleepers? IF we get one will we be able to cuddle our baby as much as we want or does it feel like the baby is off to the side too much? Would it be better ot get a new bed? Certainly it would be less expensive and easier to get this type of thing but I have no idea how it will feel!
Thanks

[robbymomma]

If you want lots of cuddles, it may not be the best for you. I was in the same position...exactly. I borrowed a cosleeper and ended up only using it for diapers, books, etc..which was very useful. I have a good friend who ended up doing the same thing. We both felt like placing baby all the way over there alone was not what we wanted. But, how much space you'll want is very personal.

But, yes, 3 in the full size is tight. What naturally ended up happening with us is that my dh spent most nights in another bed so he could sleep for work. Then, eventually we got a king so we could comfortably sleep together when he was ready to come back.

There's a little railing on the side and the baby mattress is lower than your bed, so it's really not contiguous. It feels very separate, and you'd certainly have to lift and place baby in there after nursing.

[Chloe'sMama]

We used it very briefly when DD was 4-6 months old and was sleeping big chunks at night. It was just too much work to get her in and out of it for nursing. She is now 15 months and is in bed with us still and we LOVE it. I got mine off of craigslist and would do it again, just to try it out. I could sell it for just about as much as we bought it for, but I want to see if it is worth keeping when we have a second baby with dd still in our bed.

If you can get one used or borrow one, I say yes..... but, not worth paying full price just to try it out.

Oh, we upgraded from a queen to a king about 6 months ago and it was SOOOOO worth the money. All comfy now!

[Bokonon]

I had the mini co-sleeper and both kids outgrew it by about 4 months - it's just too narrow for an unswaddled baby. I loved it, but DD usually ended up in bed with us anyway (DS was an epic spitter and he was our first and a preemie, and I never felt comfortable having him in my bed).

We have a king size bed, so there is enough room for a baby in the middle. But I like having a separate bed for the baby for naps, so right now we're using the Pack and Play but will be side-carring the crib this weekend, just as we did with DS.

[Violet2]

Get a king sized bed no matter what you do because even if the baby regularly sleeps someplace else, they'll end up in bed with you more often than you think. Also? King beds ROCK! They are the awesomeness of sleep perfection.

We had an Arm's Reach co Sleeper but I wish we had bought one of those 'mini' cribs instead and had DH jerryrig it as a cosleeper.

If your DH or you are handy, do that. It's cheaper. Sturdier. Will last longer (height and weight).

Also if you are tall, big people your baby will likely be tall and big too. DD outgrew the cosleeper really fast so we ended up side caring (carring?) the crib. Which actually worked really well.

The ONLY think I liked about the cosleeper were the pockets on the side. Those were great for storing diapers, toys and bfing supplies.

If we have another LO, I will either do the mini crib or the snuggle nest (and just side car the crib again once we're past the newborn phase) It depends on what room we are sleeping in and the furniture it will accommodate.

V

[crunchy_mommy]

I had the co-sleeper mini... and got a total of about 3 months use out of it (and only half the night, at that!) but for those 3 months it was pretty good...

For the first month or so he mostly slept in my arms in my bed or on the recliner. But I was not sleeping well because he was so tiny I couldn't really move/toss & turn... plus DH is a heavy sleeper so I had major concerns about him rolling over our son!

So then he slept in the Arm's Reach for a few months. The 2 main issues I had with it were, 1) no cuddling -- it was nice to have him right there to put a hand on him in the middle of the night, but it really did feel like he was in a separate space, and I was always waking to check on him... and 2) nurse to sleep, move him into the co-sleeper, wake up seconds later... that cycle over & over... moving him once he was asleep never seemed successful! The only good sleep I got was when I brought him into bed after DH left for work. He started pulling to standing around 4-5 months so that was it for the co-sleeper!

Now he is in our bed (with the mattress on the floor so as to avoid him rolling off) full-time... he wakes constantly so I still don't sleep well but when he is asleep I'm not always waking up to check on him 'cause I can FEEL him in my arms breathing! However, we have a full-size bed and it's horribly small (no room for a bigger mattress).

OK so this is a really long-winded answer lol... But if I were you I'd probably just spring for the bigger bed, especially if you're not worried about DH rolling over your LO or anything like that! But it's also great to have somewhere safe to put the baby in the middle of the night if you get up to pee or whatever... so I'd recommend either putting your mattress on the ground, getting guard rails, or getting a cheap bassinet or cradle or pack-and-play for those situations. Also, if you plan on full-time co-sleeping, there's no reason to not do it from the start, but if you're hoping to transition to a crib then it might be easier if your LO is used to being in a separate space (like the Arm's Reach) from the beginning.

[Comtessa]

We have the larger size Arm's Reach next to our full-size bed and use it every night. DD does very well in it. She's 5 mos and too big now for a bassinet, so if we hadn't had the cosleeper we would have had to figure something else out by now. It works well for us - on occasion, I do bring her into bed with us, but it feels pretty crowded (and DH and I are not big people). I sleep right up against the cosleeper so it feels like she's close by. Having the baby in a slightly separate space is good if you have to get up in the middle of the night (like to go to the bathroom or something) and don't want to disturb the LO.

Getting a new bed was just not financially feasible for us with a new baby on the way and me not working, so borrowing the cosleeper made much more sense.

ETA: I don't advise buying a new cosleeper unless/until you're sure that's what you'll want and use. They're really expensive and that's a lot of money to spend on something that might just become a glorified laundry basket. I second the PP's recommendation to find a used one on Craigslist, or borrow one.

[thixle]

Sidecar a full-sized crib
~~woops! this is NOT my website-- is another MDC mama's site!~~

It was wonderful. Lasted until she was almost 3 and the crib finally wore out (hand-me-down). We were going to get her a toddler bed and use the same mattress when the crib broke, but ended up with a twin bed pushed up against our full. Now, 4 of us are sleeping on that arrangement DD1 (age 4 now) is planning on moving her bed into her own room soon, and we will probably borrow a crib to side car again for DD2 (almost 1)

If you don't plan on co-sleeping for so long, you can convert your full sized crib back to a crib, or depending on model, to a toddler bed! There is no permenant modification to a crib except popping off one side panel (most cribs made in the last 5-10 years have this ability)...

No way would I go with one of those teeny co-sleepers! They are just glorified bassinets (which are glorified laundry baskets, lol)

[Snapdragon]

thanks for the responses!

thixle that is a very cool arrangement! My dh is seriously not handy at all so anything we do has to be very straight forward.
So- from all the response I think we are going to go for the king sized bed! Or at least a Queen.
I am still unsure of how to arrange it so I can leave the baby in it sleeping safely and get up-
I am considering getting a bigger bed and then maybe also the side car thing- so that I can have somewhere safe to leave the baby when I am not in bed.
I have no idea! I imagine it will all become clearer once we do it, and I noticed there are many threads here about this so I will do some research.

I think we plan on co sleeping a long time. But we really have no idea what to expect

[Bokonon]

Another option is to just get a twin-sized bed and put it next to you existing bed. Much cheaper than buying a new king!

[Ruthie's momma]

My two suggestions...

1) Side-car a convertible crib (converts from a conventional crib to a toddler bed and sometimes to a full size bed) to your existing full sized bed

~This is what we did with DD

2) Purchase a larger bed and use a Moses basket for naps. A Moses basket is often a lot less expensive (than a bassinet or co-sleeper), can be moved throughout the house during the day (for naps) and is a lot prettier...

~This is what I plan to do with our next babe

[larzanna]

We have an arms reach and use it every night. DS is 5 months. I got a 4 inch piece of foam and put in under the mattress so that the co-sleeper in level with our bed. He is RIGHT next to me but w/o having to put my arm in a weird position so i don't smash him (but i am a belly sleeper, so side sleeping is weird for me)
get one used for sure!

Also if you decide to get a new bed, go for the king, i know a queen is going to feel big to you, but its not. And honestly i find that on the occation that i bring my DS into our queen bed it is SO tight, i am not comfortable at all, i sorta think that after the baby i don't want to touch DH all night, so maybe thats why it feels small. (am all touched out)

-L

[josh&davesmomme]

I suggest a king sized bed not a queen if you have the space and a sidecar if needed- i see someone already linked to my site
it was incredibly easy to set it up, I set it up by myself when I was 8 months pregnant, big belly and all!

[paxye]

We co-slept in a full size until until ds#2 was a few months old and then we bought our king size...

So it is possible with just one babe but definitely not the most comfortable with two...

I have never used a co-sleeper, DH loves to cuddle our kids... I honestly wouldn't buy/use one.

If was going to buy a bed I would also go for the King instead of the Queen...