Tell me about your 'crunchy' kid's birthday...

[nina_yyc]

Well, DD is soon to be 3yo. Last June she went to a birthday party, and it's the first one where she really knew what was happening, and since then she's been talking about her birthday and knows the date, how old she's going to be, etc.

I am so unexcited about this. My DD's friends range from ultra-crunchy to very mainstream, so there is no way I am not going to feel awkward about everything I put together, including food and our choice to live in a 700sq foot apartment. (I'd go somewhere else for the party, but we're trying to save $ for my mat leave, and it will be mid-November.) I will be 37 weeks pregnant and working f/t and I really don't want to put effort into anything at all, much less buying plastic dollar store crap for loot bags or staying up after DD's bedtime to secretly make and ice a cake. Plus I do not want to set any precedents for party awesomeness that I have to top year after year.

There is really no way I can not do this party...DD is sooo excited. I am also feeling guilty in advance seeing as this will probably be the only birthday party ever for DD by herself...the baby's birthday will be within a couple weeks of hers and I will probably combine them every year in the future...will that scar them for life??

[lilmom]

What if you do just a small party with a select few? Won't that be just as fun for her? Then maybe you wouldn't have to feel quite so awkward.

I think if you talk it up, it can be simple and still fun for her.

Personally, for my DS's 1st and 2nd bday's we only had a few close family members and he had a blast. We definitely did not do all the plastic stuff and the huge parties that seem to be so trendy right now. Since he's not your DD's age yet I don't know what he will want next year but I really don't see why you have to throw a big party. You could make a cake that is fairly crunchy too and the kids will not know the difference. I made a yummy carrot/applesauce cake with all organic stuff and wheat germ in it, and DS and my (mostly mainstream) family loved it. They had no idea how healthy it was!

Also, my cousin shared a bday with his dad and it never scarred him. they always celebrated together. I don't know about siblings..that might be different. I think I would do them separately.

[AislinCarys]

My sister (2 years younger than me) and I have birthdays 2 weeks apart. Before we started school we shared our birthday parties. It was fine. Later, however, the idea of sharing would't have gone down very well!

[mama2mygirl]

This year, I'm going to bring a cake to the homeschooling group we go to. I'll probably make fairies for the kids because the little girls are always making fairy houses.
They will just run around and play and there will be cake.
The homeschool group seems mixed. Some people are crunchy and some people bring dorritos and candy.
Oh, I wouldn't mix the parties. I think each kid deserves a special day.
On the other hand, I really like birthdays and it sounds like they are not your thing. Maybe you could do one party but one special family thing for each child.

[earthmama369]

My daughter's birthday is in the winter, so we have her party inside our small house. Some fun things we've done that have gotten great responses from the kids and parents:

-make your own playdough

The kids help me measure and mix a basic no-cook playdough recipe, then they each get a chunk for themselves to play with. Before they leave, put each chunk in a small bag and add some food coloring so they can mush it around and make it whatever color they want. Then they take it home as a party favor. (Ask guests to wear messy clothes for this one!)

-indoor pinata

Hang it on a broomstick and give them a ruler or another small broomstick to swing. We filled ours with chocolate coins, a handful of Matchbox cars (enough for one per kid), fairy and butterfly temporary tattoos, shiny confetti (just for the effect), and a lot of stickers.

-paint your own mini pumpkin

OK, that one's self explanatory.

[gmvh]

We did not have the added layer of having had our children attend a more conventional birthday party but at three and four (and two) we had dinner parties with kid-friendly food (homemade chicken nuggets, baked sweet potatoes, and green beans). We'd invite family friends over around 4 and the children would play while the moms talked and I got dinner ready. The other parents arrived and we ate and followed it up with cake. That was it. We have a ribbon of colorful fabric penants that we hang. A few years ago I got service for 18 in those Ikea children's dishes and we just use those so no themed paperware (and we pass them around to friends for their parties). We've not done gifts with friends but some will show up with cards made by the children or gifts from nature. My daughter currently has a milkweed pod taken apart in her room...

This year, when they turned five (they're twins), my husband thought they might want a party with more friends, etc. We had weather issues but we invited folks over after dinner, to play, and then after cake our plan was to show a movie in our backyard. We still invited families, did a few snacks (carrots/ranch, chips/salsa, popcorn), had lots of cake, and did no gifts. They had fun even though we moved the whole thing indoors - we had the movie projected on an entire wall.

I'm not sure that really answers your question but we've kept things family-oriented so far and it's worked well for us!

[jjawm]

DD is turing three in a couple of weeks. We're doing a simple cake and pizza, and for favors dh is making some wooden cars for the kids, and I may or may not get some balloons to tie on them. I may make up a 'pin the tail on the donkey' or some other game, and just let the kids play. It's only going to be 2 hours.

[reezley]

We're not the most crunchy... but I tend toward the simple and cheap...
For my ds's 3rd bday we had about 6 over (a couple of them were sibling pairs). The whole nursery school class would have been to many and too overwhelming for ds anyway. I set up a few stations to play at for when they came in - make-your-own paper hat and decorate (actually that was too much instruction and not very popular with our crowd), a toss-the-ball-into-one-of-three-baskets game, maybe something else and some fun music playing in the background. The "big" activity was after cake and fruit, I had scattered foam bug/butterfly stickers around the playroom, hid a few under stuff, but many just lying around near stuff, and gave each kid a cup decorated with their name on it and a little plastic "grabber" toy and told them they were on a bug hunt and they could use the grabber to pick up bugs and put them in their cup. They ran around like crazy and had a great time. Of course they could keep what they got and I evened out the ones that were a bit small at the end.

[honeybee]

We do cake and ice cream and open presents. The kids play together on their own. That's it. Well, sometimes I like to buy helium balloons for the kids to play with. Oh, and by kids, I mean my boys, their two cousins, and sometimes one other friend. The rest is all family with adult aunts, uncles, grandparents and great-grandparents. So, it's more people than I would like, but we're blessed to have a large, involved immediate family so we invite them. I'll maybe buy some helium balloons so the kids can play with them, but not always.

I don't do games or door prizes or send the kids home with plastic toys. I hate my kids coming home with that crap, so I just don't do it. Keep it simple. For my ds1 turning 3, he was really excited, but he just wanted to hear everyone sing him the birthday song and blow out candles.

Maybe splurge on one special thing. For the last couple years, I've gotten my boys bakery cakes specially decorated for them. I found a lady in town who works out of her home and makes great cakes... even dairy or gluten free if you have allergies, and they're really reasonable, and even cheaper than the grocery store cakes. Of course, they have refined flour and sugar... but hey, it's a birthday.

[honeybee]

Oh, and my brother's and my birthdays are 2 days apart. We always had separate birthday celebrations, which I greatly appreciated. Yes, there was a lot of cake around that week, but that's just the way things worked out. But, these were not "parties." They were family celebrations. Birthday person got to choose their favorite meal and cake and frosting flavors (box mixes). We opened a couple presents, and played board games as a family. When I got older I often had a friend stay the night, and some years would have a larger slumber party. Some years we may have been able to take one friend mini-golfing or to a movie, or something. I think we may have alternated weekends... the weekend before our birthdays I'd have a couple friends over, and the weekend after, my brother would. But I did not have huge blow-out parties, and never felt deprived.

[Right of Passage]

We just had my 4 y/o DS's birthday party this weekend. I set out veggies and dip and fruit and dip. The goody and the activity were all one thing....tie-dye. I preped the shirts before hand, warned the parents that we are going to get messy, and we had a blast! It's fun, you can buy a cheap plastic shower curtain (that you can reuse for many different messy things) to keep the mess away from ruining anything. I put the shirts in the wash about an hour after they were done dyeing them, once I got them in the dryer we did cake and presents then they were dry and it was time to go home.

Our guest list was also small, he does have a group of friends, so it was just the close once. Ended up having 4 kids here, plus my 2. Plus the grandparents, 2 extra moms, and an extra dad. It wasn't too bad and everyone had a really great time.

[Tizzy]

I'm struggling with the 3rd birthday party for DS1 as he does have some friends we could invite. But since we've had family birthday parties up until now, everyone has made it clear that they expect to be invited.
So by inviting even 3 of his friends (and at least one of their parents) the party count is close to 20! We don't even have that many chairs lol!

So I think we're sticking with family again and we'll play a game or two (balloon stomp was a huge hit last year, so was an egg toss outside for DS2's party), DS has requested a roast chicken so I'll make up a family meal and he's also requested a pineapple upside down cake which can be made very healthy and large to serve everyone. For party favors, since there are only two other children that come (my neice and nephew) I think I'll make smile cookies and fold up some paper boxes out of cardstock to put the cookies in.

I usually pick up a bag of balloons from the dollar store and get DH to blow them all up and tape them around the kitchen (which is where everyone seems to hang out) and a few years back I made a paper chain for DH's birthday so it's now a tradition to hang the paper chain around the kitchen for every birthday

[EMS]

I am pretty darn crunchy, but I do relax my standards somewhat when it comes to birthday parties. We always have a big bowl of air popped popcorn with olive oil and salt as a snack. Also lots fruit and veggies with hummus. Sometimes corn tortilla chips.
I serve seltzer and beer for the adults. I absolutely will not serve soda, and usually don't serve juice either.
I usually make a cake with vastly reduced sugar, more like a banana bread. For frosting I use plain (barely sweetened) whipped cream.
I guess people know what to expect coming to our house, but I haven't had any complaints, from either children or adults.

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by nina_yyc

There is really no way I can not do this party...DD is sooo excited. I am also feeling guilty in advance seeing as this will probably be the only birthday party ever for DD by herself...the baby's birthday will be within a couple weeks of hers and I will probably combine them every year in the future...will that scar them for life??

Do you really see yourself combing their b-days from now on?? My kids b-days are 5/14, 5/25, and 6/3. I have never combined their parties. I'm sure my 11 yo DD would rather NOT have a party than have one jointly with her 9 yo or 5 yo brothers. I usually give them the choice of having a big party or getting a "bigger" gift. Having a party is a gift in our family.

I think you got some good tips. The main things I would do are: not invite many kids and have it at a time when you don't have to serve food. ie, don't have it at lunch time, just have cake and maybe some snacks. That cuts down on the expense and also on the prep/clean up time.

[mommariffic]

For DD's birthday we had a local farmer bring over some animals! We bartered two chickens with her (and a small bit of money) and she brought over bunnies, ducks, baby sheep, goats, and a mini horse!

For food we had BBQ [summer birthday] and so we had ribs, cornbread, cold salads, sweet tea, and stuff like that. We had cupcakes that I baked for dessert, and the kids got to play with animals, eat, and play in the yard.

I also made "green" goodie bags with fair trade chocolate bars, wooden whistles, twig crayons and a lullaby CD.

[moondiapers]

When my kids were small we invited one friend per year of age. It was just spaghetti, cake and ice-cream. My kids still don't get a party every year. The rule is friend parties on even numbered birthdays only, and just our small family on odd numbered birthdays.

[nina_yyc]

I LOVE the idea of smile cookies for loot bags, playdoh, paper chains, and popcorn. This already makes me happier than dollar store plastic toys. I guess I just don't know how 'obligatory' those things are and I don't want to be the mom who throws the crappy party.

I think one of my problems with the b-day parties that I've been to is straining to hear a friend-of-a-friend telling me stories about letting their baby CIO over the sound of 20 screaming toddlers while trying to make sure Libby isn't jumping on someone's head . Maybe a couple of toy/craft stations are a good idea.

[MrsTC]

I threw a party for the first time for my son when he turned 3 and again two weeks ago when he turned 4. I wasn't one of those mamas who made cake and had everybody come over to celebrate when the kid doesn't even know what's going on.

For his third birthday, I invited a family we're friends with and the kids' cousin and her mom (my then SIL) and that was plenty of people. Actually, too many, and this year I just invited the friends-family. Both years I made a chocolate cake with whole wheat flour, half sugar, substitutes for the fat, etc etc etc. Beet juice to color the frosting...no one minded, and our friends aren't picky about what they eat. Also did balloons...Dollar Tree sells helium filled mylar balloons for $1/each, and I also bought a couple bags of balloons and blew them up for the kids to play with (I know, I know you're supposed to pick them all up when you're done because they're a choking hazard, but kids looove balloons and they're cheap). And we kind of let the kids play and the adults sat around and talked. When the kids started to melt down, it was time to call the party quits. As a 4y/o, my son had watched enough Elmo and Sesame Street to know that birthday parties had cake with candles (check!) party hats (check! also at Dollar Tree), balloons (check!) and friends (check!). Ask your dc what s/he wants and go from there. It takes so little to make them happy...

And we've done small celebrations with the numerous grandparents my kids have, individually...birthday fun lasts for well over the span of a week in our house. THE only perk of having parents whose parents were divorced for my kids, afaik

[JL83]

There are easy ways and hard ways to do parties.

I like the easy ways.

There won't be a "cake"... There will be yummy and pretty healthy cupcakes and after we sing to DD, the others will be put out with some toppings like icing and M&Ms and the parents can help their kids put one together. So it will be both a snack and an activity.

For her 3rd birthday, there won't be any games. Just 3 to 6 kids, depending on who can make it, and toys.

We'll do it in the middle of the afternoon so just a few munchies to tide people over.

As for treat bags... I don't know. We'll probably do them but with stickers and some mini playdough tubs we have.

[smeisnotapirate]

We invited lots of friends to DS's 1st birthday party, because we have so many people we wanted to thank (and that's how we approach birthdays - who has been influential in your past year of life?).

A local park hosts free outdoor concerts on Sunday nights during the summer, so we invited everyone to the park, hauled out a grill, and BBQ-ed! Everyone brought a side dish (in lieu of a present, but everyone pretty much bought a present too ), and we all hung out on blankets and chatted until the concert started at 7:30. DS's "cake" was strawberry shortcake out of our garden, and all the kids had tons of space to run around in.

It was a GREAT celebration, and we were so thankful that we kept the price down so we could invite everyone who was important.