Leone- Hang in there- it is a process, one step forwards and two steps back it seems, but you just have to keep trying and do what you can tolerably do, and don't feel like a failure if you have to step back for a few days or even weeks and try again some other time. Hang in there!!
Well as for our night last night-- where to begin.. I took a prescribed benzodiazepine medication (valium) and i know it goes through breastmilk and causes sedation in babies at times (is that supposed to be bad?? i didn't think so.. his doc and my midwife both prescribed/ok'ed it for occasional use anyways, so if if that was a side benefit i am not complaining
) and whatever happened we actually both got some sleep. i cannot decide if that is good or bad. but i got around 5 1/2 hours of sleep which hallelujah i am happy with, at least as happy as i can be, i will take what i can get. i am sure you can all relate. after the night before i needed to not have another night from he!!
and our day-- unfortunately this morning a family friend came from 10-11:45 before she had to go to work p/t, to help out, and i wanted to take an hour nap but DS was being loud playing and the cats were scratching my bedroom door and i couldn't get comfortable so ended up reading more from NCSS and socializing with this long time family friend (I used to babysit her kids years ago!) which was nice although i am mad i did not get to nap).
Then, I had promised a friend who is very very pregnant, due shortly, and has a toddler too and a bunch of school stuff too, just a very full plate but also a very supportive husband, so I went to Whole Foods and brought her lunch and groceries and we caught up a bit (see,
I am the sleep deprived insane one who needs help and I still cannot let go of my instinct to feel like I am supposed to be the one helping other people lol, but it was good, like I said last night was not awful I guess and I was happy to see her and help out and make sure she had good food, and I recall a now close friend (who I met on here! Yay MDC!) brought me groceries when I first brought B home from nicu, so I guess I paid it forward, since I had the afternoon free and a WF gift card to spend, though I probably should have used it for my own groceries, so it goes, it feels good to do what you can and i felt alright during the day today after a somewhat decent amt of sleep last night)
Then I was going to have a friend with a daughter close in age come over to trade off watching the babes so we could each have an hour or two to sleep/study and she flaked on me (hope she is ok, still have not been able to reach her, but i think she just flaked which sucked because i really needed to sleep and/or study and would liked for my son to have playtime w/ another kiddo and tire him out) and then my mom came over just as ds fell asleep nursing in my arms, so I put him down, and asked my mom to stay ten minutes following me setting him on the bed, because I had a feeling he wouldn't stay asleep, he rarely does, sucks sucks sucks, and she said no! and was all cranky and just left, and said call me if he wakes and i will come back... so of course he wakes 30 seconds after she pulls out of the lot, and I was not about to call her and make her drive back here again and be pissed at me (and him) and waste gas etc. so I didn't want to deal with that.. and so I tried nursing him down but he was awake then, so now we are up..
I really don't know, I am starting to feel all crying/frustrated/tired again and just want to nap, one or both of us, and I don't want to call my mom back for the third time (she tries stopping by once before since she was driving by and she missed us by like 5 minutes) and then the second time was when he fell asleep and I attempted to transfer him to the bed, I was going to join him as soon as I had a snack and of course the little (censored) aka loving sweet precious baby decided to wake and not go back to sleep. So. It is 6:30 and we are up. He never naps. Never. Except in sling/arms and I am trying to BREAK that habit. but I don't know if i should. Once you get to that breaking point/edge, it is so easy to get back to it, the littlest thing or one rough night or lack of nap or stressful situation and it is back to the insanity.
Is it true that the less sleep they get, the worse they sleep, and the less the continue to get, like slef-perpetuating cycle?? that if they don't get the sleep they need (like she says in NCSS, it can vary slightly but on average it is pretty close across the board) Because it says in the book that for 6 mos. they need 3-4 hours in naps and 12-13 hours at night and at 9 months they need 2 1/2-4 hours in naps and 11 1/2-12 1/2 at night or something like that (my son is right in the middle, 7.5 mos) and he has been getting like 5-8 hours at night average, and a lot of his sleep I am not sleeping which is where a big part of the issue lies too because I have to bounce/nurse/etc. to get him to sleep and then i dread trying to put him down and start at square one.. and not really napping either except brief in arms naps or in the car naps for anywhere from a few minutes to an hour, he has never been a napper though really as much, either he would take one really long nap (2-3 hours) or not nap at all except dozing in arms/in sling.. but this is insanity.
but yeah he gets nowhere near that amount listed in NCSS (and of course i get even less), and he does seem tired but just wakes right the frick up. See this is awful I am starting to feel awful again and last night was supposed to be a "good" night, I guess i should be grateful for that compared to what it could be.
I do not want to introduce any new allergens and we are vegan so do not want to try the teething tablets, but are there any other teething remedies i could/should try that might help and then i could at least see if that made a difference or rule that out? i think that is a part of it at least, as some of you are saying, i just don't know why it affects him so much at sleep/night and not when he is playing or whatnot, maybe because there is no other stimuli to distract him? I do think it could play a big part in it.
i do think a lot of it is also gut too- his rash has cleared (chin/face rash/eczema)and the yeast (bottom/scrotum) is almost gone, since cutting out solids (although honestly it is not like we were doing solids daily, we were doing mostly baby-led weaning, whole fruits and veggies, and he didn't seem to even eat much, like maybe a teaspoon or two of whatever, mostly peaches and yams, a little bit of banana and avocado and whole wheat bread crumb to taste but really just played with it, and watermelon, but just played with that and licked it.. idk. But also we switched to sposies for a couple days now until I can disinfect his cloth diaper stash from yeast, and have been using the Diaper Rash and Thrush cream from mother love like i said so i don't know if just that is clearing it or if it is the solids or something in my milk and the other issues are just now making the issue known?? so confused, keep second guessing and i don't know how i will ever know what is right/true or how to fix it.
I may have to look into more allergy info i guess.. Because his EC has suffered, he basically never pooped his diapers before and the other night he was up from 3-5 am, pooped 3 diapers and pottied/pooped in his potty a bit too and seemed super uncomfortable, and it is seeming like there are green stringy things in there on occasion but i cannot figure out a pattern, and the smell is becoming really strong and offensive where it was mild before, and thicker consistency, and i had a friend look at a poop (haha i know, she is great for putting up with such things) and she said it was not normal in her experience and the color seemed greenish tinged/off and there was some mucous) but being my 1st kid i had nothing to compare too except knowing it was different than his prior poops.. but then he also went thru a phase where he had really really foamy airy poops which cannot be good either but not for some time, i just don't know, no rhyme or reason, i just want him not to be in pain and to SLEEP for goddess sake).. but yeah like i said too some of this is just exacerbated but not new entirely, yeast for example, he had his 1st yeast infection within his first few weeks, and i no longer use their chemically prescriptions as the mother love salve works much better and seems much healthier for his sensitive regions without all the chems, but i need to figure out doth what do do in the long term and also what is causing this in the short term, the past say 3 weeks, although he has never been a great sleeper, he at least had nights where he would go reasonably long stretches or without needing constant motion/constant/nursing.. i do think the contant nursing is not hunger or milk supply but relieving the pressure from teething so i think i do need to address that..
anyway, just brainstorming out loud, blabbing and trying to get these scattered thoughts in writing, maybe just for me to make some coherent sense of them or have a record of them before i forget (NCSS is all about keeping diaries of babies sleep patterns from what i have ascertained thus far) if others have input or can benefit from some of these ideas being thrown around then that is cool too..
i want to go to sleep (don;t we all!!) hang in there mamas and keep us posted, here's wishing all the mamas with sleep issues, and the babes too, a comfortable and restful night, making some sort of progress...
i will also keep you all posted on NCSS, as i read it and maybe implement the strategies.. but if this is not simple habits or sleep problems and there are physical pains underlying it which i think is at least part of it i have to start there. i have thought of calling his doctor but am ambivalent--
have any of you talked to docs about sleep issues or other issues? at least the health issues i would bring up, and the impact on sleep lately? he is a family practice doc, i really do like and trust him, but unsure where that could lead and don't need one more piece of chaos in this puzzle...
She didn't wake again until after DH got home and I nursed her every few hours again.
Maybe tonight will be a good night!
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