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Breaking Point Mamas Unite - Page 2

post #21 of 159
Last night was a colossal, traumatizing failure and now I am swimming in guilt

I decided last night was the first of the next 4 to start nightweaning. I took parts of Jay Gordons method and was cutting out nursing from 11pm when I went to bed until 5/6am when DH gets home from working nights.
She went to bed at 830pm with a half dose of motrin because she is teething, woke at 915 to nurse back to sleep, and again at 11pm. She woke at midnight again and that was the one I decided to stop.
It was pure hell...she cried all the time we spent in the bed, anytime I laid down with her. As soon as I would get up and she was on my shoulder, she stopped, would fall asleep, the second I tried to lay her down se woke and cried and cried and cried. 10 mins into it I remembered someone post in here that you can't give in because then everything you just did affirms if they cry that long they will get what they want. So I spent the next hour and half refusing to give in, crying myself, rocking, walking bouncing, trying to lay down, shushing..she finally fell asleep from me shushing really loud next to her ear for 20 mins. But then she was tossing, turning, groaning, whining, crying and throwing herself all over the bed like she was incredibly uncomfortable...so I gave in...arg...she nursed for a few mins popped off and turned over, threw herself around a little and fell asleep. She didn't wake again until after DH got home and I nursed her every few hours again.

Now I am experiencing so much guilt from making her go through so much and just giving in, or letting her cry so hard and all she needed was a quick nurse because she was hurting...and all I can think of is her raised stress levels last night and how she probably can't figure out what she did wrong and why I wouldn't let her nurse...

I don't know what to do now, if I should continue trying to wean, try something different, or just wait.

I am so sorry DD...
post #22 of 159
I don't think your DD will remember and she will be just fine. Don't beat yourself up.

I don't know anything about night weaning so defer to others (& maybe post a new thread?) but perhaps you need to shelve it for awhile? You said she is sleeping a bit better, so if you're feeling better too, maybe you can handle the night nursing a bit longer? Not sure, but just wanted to say try not to worry about last night.
post #23 of 159
Thread Starter 
Leone - this was my night exactly! Except I *wasn't* trying to NW yet!! I was letting him nurse all he wanted and he STILL did exactly what your DD did. Even the at same time...he was up from midnight to 2:10 am. He kept rolling around my bed, fussing, crying etc. Up on my shoulder he’d fall asleep in a minute or two, but the second I tried to put him down, whether on my bed or in his crib, he’d cry. I felt terrible b/c I was losing my patience after the first hour or so.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you didn’t do any harm by trying to NW your DD. Gordon says they will be pretty ticked off the first couple of nights. Ticked, but not scared or hurt. You were there with her. She was not alone. Did you communicate to her that she could nurse later? I’m sorry, I don’t remember how old you said your DD is. But let’s back up a sec…does she normally nurse completely to sleep? If so then you “nurse her short” for a couple of nights. Don’t let her fall completely asleep latched, KWIM? Take it slower. Or scrap it and try again in a month. And don’t beat yourself up! It's going to get better, it has to!

I have intentions of beginning NW tonight, but I have a pinched nerve in my left shoulder today and I don't know if I can deal with the physical demand on my body tonight. I already told DH I was going to do it, and he's agreed to take DS tomorrow morning for a couple of hours so I can rest. I'm going to start a new thread about our NW adventure. How far I get, who knows!
post #24 of 159
I want to join!

My DS is almost 9 months and has never been a good sleeper. Just recently he has started sleeping for 2-3 hours in the evening which allows me time by myself. This is a huge accomplishment. Before this he would maybe sleep 30minutes and then he wouldn't go back to sleep so he'd just stay up until I went to bed. Through the rest of the night his chunks of sleep gradually get smaller as the morning approaches 3 hours, then 2, then every hour, until finally I give up and we get out of bed.

I don't usually get too angry at night. I've accepted that we will all sleep better if I just give in and nurse rather than try and fight it. (He's still too young to night wean - I may 'fight it' it a bit more when he's a year old). But the hardest part is hearing of other babies who sleep through the night. Which seems like every baby I know IRL. I get so angry and jealous. Which is awful, I know. Especially when they assume that our problems are due to cosleeping. Ugh...
post #25 of 159
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gillian28 View Post
I want to join!

My DS is almost 9 months and has never been a good sleeper. Just recently he has started sleeping for 2-3 hours in the evening which allows me time by myself. This is a huge accomplishment. Before this he would maybe sleep 30minutes and then he wouldn't go back to sleep so he'd just stay up until I went to bed. Through the rest of the night his chunks of sleep gradually get smaller as the morning approaches 3 hours, then 2, then every hour, until finally I give up and we get out of bed.

I don't usually get too angry at night. I've accepted that we will all sleep better if I just give in and nurse rather than try and fight it. (He's still too young to night wean - I may 'fight it' it a bit more when he's a year old). But the hardest part is hearing of other babies who sleep through the night. Which seems like every baby I know IRL. I get so angry and jealous. Which is awful, I know. Especially when they assume that our problems are due to cosleeping. Ugh...
Welcome! You sound just like me - except I rarely get the 2-3 hours up front anymore. We also get the decreasing amounts of sleep as the night goes on - I wonder what that is about.

And, oh my god, the jealousy thing of other babies and parents who can actually go out for the night and have a sitter. I just don't talk about sleep with them anymore and truly, I don't even socialize with many of those friends anymore. They don't get it and just offer insulting advice or give me pity I don't want. Sigh.

That's why this thread is so great! We know we're not alone and for us, these sleep patterns are normal and we'll all get through it. (Although as I just took an hour to get DS down for what is sure to be a 45 minute nap, I feel at my wits end!).
post #26 of 159
Quote:
Originally Posted by littlehoneybee View Post

On a good night I get one or two three hour stretches, but it's rare. I half heartedly started trying to night wean, but I'm not sure if it will make a difference given all the teething. Poor baby only has two teeth so we're going to be dealing with this for a long time I'm afraid. At least she does usually go right back to sleep after nursing.
Yeah.. my son at 7.5 mos seems to young to nightwean entirely.. but I don't know.. he gets so angry/upset/sad that I can't not give him what he wants if I know that nursing will fix it (it won't always, he is still uncomfortable)

He also has only 2 teeth so out of 20 freaking teeth I am not optiminstic. Eeesh.

post #27 of 159
Leone- Hang in there- it is a process, one step forwards and two steps back it seems, but you just have to keep trying and do what you can tolerably do, and don't feel like a failure if you have to step back for a few days or even weeks and try again some other time. Hang in there!!

Well as for our night last night-- where to begin.. I took a prescribed benzodiazepine medication (valium) and i know it goes through breastmilk and causes sedation in babies at times (is that supposed to be bad?? i didn't think so.. his doc and my midwife both prescribed/ok'ed it for occasional use anyways, so if if that was a side benefit i am not complaining ) and whatever happened we actually both got some sleep. i cannot decide if that is good or bad. but i got around 5 1/2 hours of sleep which hallelujah i am happy with, at least as happy as i can be, i will take what i can get. i am sure you can all relate. after the night before i needed to not have another night from he!!

and our day-- unfortunately this morning a family friend came from 10-11:45 before she had to go to work p/t, to help out, and i wanted to take an hour nap but DS was being loud playing and the cats were scratching my bedroom door and i couldn't get comfortable so ended up reading more from NCSS and socializing with this long time family friend (I used to babysit her kids years ago!) which was nice although i am mad i did not get to nap).

Then, I had promised a friend who is very very pregnant, due shortly, and has a toddler too and a bunch of school stuff too, just a very full plate but also a very supportive husband, so I went to Whole Foods and brought her lunch and groceries and we caught up a bit (see, I am the sleep deprived insane one who needs help and I still cannot let go of my instinct to feel like I am supposed to be the one helping other people lol, but it was good, like I said last night was not awful I guess and I was happy to see her and help out and make sure she had good food, and I recall a now close friend (who I met on here! Yay MDC!) brought me groceries when I first brought B home from nicu, so I guess I paid it forward, since I had the afternoon free and a WF gift card to spend, though I probably should have used it for my own groceries, so it goes, it feels good to do what you can and i felt alright during the day today after a somewhat decent amt of sleep last night)

Then I was going to have a friend with a daughter close in age come over to trade off watching the babes so we could each have an hour or two to sleep/study and she flaked on me (hope she is ok, still have not been able to reach her, but i think she just flaked which sucked because i really needed to sleep and/or study and would liked for my son to have playtime w/ another kiddo and tire him out) and then my mom came over just as ds fell asleep nursing in my arms, so I put him down, and asked my mom to stay ten minutes following me setting him on the bed, because I had a feeling he wouldn't stay asleep, he rarely does, sucks sucks sucks, and she said no! and was all cranky and just left, and said call me if he wakes and i will come back... so of course he wakes 30 seconds after she pulls out of the lot, and I was not about to call her and make her drive back here again and be pissed at me (and him) and waste gas etc. so I didn't want to deal with that.. and so I tried nursing him down but he was awake then, so now we are up..

I really don't know, I am starting to feel all crying/frustrated/tired again and just want to nap, one or both of us, and I don't want to call my mom back for the third time (she tries stopping by once before since she was driving by and she missed us by like 5 minutes) and then the second time was when he fell asleep and I attempted to transfer him to the bed, I was going to join him as soon as I had a snack and of course the little (censored) aka loving sweet precious baby decided to wake and not go back to sleep. So. It is 6:30 and we are up. He never naps. Never. Except in sling/arms and I am trying to BREAK that habit. but I don't know if i should. Once you get to that breaking point/edge, it is so easy to get back to it, the littlest thing or one rough night or lack of nap or stressful situation and it is back to the insanity.

Is it true that the less sleep they get, the worse they sleep, and the less the continue to get, like slef-perpetuating cycle?? that if they don't get the sleep they need (like she says in NCSS, it can vary slightly but on average it is pretty close across the board) Because it says in the book that for 6 mos. they need 3-4 hours in naps and 12-13 hours at night and at 9 months they need 2 1/2-4 hours in naps and 11 1/2-12 1/2 at night or something like that (my son is right in the middle, 7.5 mos) and he has been getting like 5-8 hours at night average, and a lot of his sleep I am not sleeping which is where a big part of the issue lies too because I have to bounce/nurse/etc. to get him to sleep and then i dread trying to put him down and start at square one.. and not really napping either except brief in arms naps or in the car naps for anywhere from a few minutes to an hour, he has never been a napper though really as much, either he would take one really long nap (2-3 hours) or not nap at all except dozing in arms/in sling.. but this is insanity.

but yeah he gets nowhere near that amount listed in NCSS (and of course i get even less), and he does seem tired but just wakes right the frick up. See this is awful I am starting to feel awful again and last night was supposed to be a "good" night, I guess i should be grateful for that compared to what it could be.

I do not want to introduce any new allergens and we are vegan so do not want to try the teething tablets, but are there any other teething remedies i could/should try that might help and then i could at least see if that made a difference or rule that out? i think that is a part of it at least, as some of you are saying, i just don't know why it affects him so much at sleep/night and not when he is playing or whatnot, maybe because there is no other stimuli to distract him? I do think it could play a big part in it.

i do think a lot of it is also gut too- his rash has cleared (chin/face rash/eczema)and the yeast (bottom/scrotum) is almost gone, since cutting out solids (although honestly it is not like we were doing solids daily, we were doing mostly baby-led weaning, whole fruits and veggies, and he didn't seem to even eat much, like maybe a teaspoon or two of whatever, mostly peaches and yams, a little bit of banana and avocado and whole wheat bread crumb to taste but really just played with it, and watermelon, but just played with that and licked it.. idk. But also we switched to sposies for a couple days now until I can disinfect his cloth diaper stash from yeast, and have been using the Diaper Rash and Thrush cream from mother love like i said so i don't know if just that is clearing it or if it is the solids or something in my milk and the other issues are just now making the issue known?? so confused, keep second guessing and i don't know how i will ever know what is right/true or how to fix it.

I may have to look into more allergy info i guess.. Because his EC has suffered, he basically never pooped his diapers before and the other night he was up from 3-5 am, pooped 3 diapers and pottied/pooped in his potty a bit too and seemed super uncomfortable, and it is seeming like there are green stringy things in there on occasion but i cannot figure out a pattern, and the smell is becoming really strong and offensive where it was mild before, and thicker consistency, and i had a friend look at a poop (haha i know, she is great for putting up with such things) and she said it was not normal in her experience and the color seemed greenish tinged/off and there was some mucous) but being my 1st kid i had nothing to compare too except knowing it was different than his prior poops.. but then he also went thru a phase where he had really really foamy airy poops which cannot be good either but not for some time, i just don't know, no rhyme or reason, i just want him not to be in pain and to SLEEP for goddess sake).. but yeah like i said too some of this is just exacerbated but not new entirely, yeast for example, he had his 1st yeast infection within his first few weeks, and i no longer use their chemically prescriptions as the mother love salve works much better and seems much healthier for his sensitive regions without all the chems, but i need to figure out doth what do do in the long term and also what is causing this in the short term, the past say 3 weeks, although he has never been a great sleeper, he at least had nights where he would go reasonably long stretches or without needing constant motion/constant/nursing.. i do think the contant nursing is not hunger or milk supply but relieving the pressure from teething so i think i do need to address that..

anyway, just brainstorming out loud, blabbing and trying to get these scattered thoughts in writing, maybe just for me to make some coherent sense of them or have a record of them before i forget (NCSS is all about keeping diaries of babies sleep patterns from what i have ascertained thus far) if others have input or can benefit from some of these ideas being thrown around then that is cool too..

i want to go to sleep (don;t we all!!) hang in there mamas and keep us posted, here's wishing all the mamas with sleep issues, and the babes too, a comfortable and restful night, making some sort of progress...

i will also keep you all posted on NCSS, as i read it and maybe implement the strategies.. but if this is not simple habits or sleep problems and there are physical pains underlying it which i think is at least part of it i have to start there. i have thought of calling his doctor but am ambivalent--

have any of you talked to docs about sleep issues or other issues? at least the health issues i would bring up, and the impact on sleep lately? he is a family practice doc, i really do like and trust him, but unsure where that could lead and don't need one more piece of chaos in this puzzle...

post #28 of 159
Just a couple of quick answers - yes, I do believe in the baby needs sleep to be able to sleep rule. Which sucks for all of us! Do you think your baby only gets a maximum of 8 hours sleep a night? I bet he gets more than that.

Also, I wanted to say it's definitely worth ruling out medical causes. Look on the allergy forum for elimination diets. They're hard to do. In the end, I stuck just to the least allergenic foods - you can find a list on Dr Sears website. It didn't help sleep but my DS is allergic to dairy. It may help you so worth a go! It is tough though.

Kudos to you mama, I have no idea how you manage to study at all.

PS My Pedi is useless with the sleep thing - she told me to keep the room dark and quiet - duh!
post #29 of 159
Thread Starter 
My DS only napped in the carrier or in arms until 10 months or so. Don't fight it if that what works. Now at almost 12 months he will nap in the crib or on the sofa.

I agree with Louisep about allergies. Worth looking into.

There are other teething products that you could try. Hylands makes a gel that is not lactose based. I'm going to try Boirons Camilia liquid.

Hang in their mama. This shall pass!
post #30 of 159
Mama_Gaia, look into the food allergies, but I know blips in EC and rashes are both common symptoms of teething.

We had the most awesome night last night (sarcasm). DD wouldn't go down alone (this is her MO these days, about 2 mo now of not getting one. single. second without SOMEONE needing me) and she didn't get asleep "enough" for me to move to the bed and stop rocking and craning my neck at the computer until about 11:30. She woke up 4-5 times before 2:30 when she was up for good until 4 fing AM. She went back to sleep until 7:30, when DS, who had gone to bed at 10:30 the night before, came and jumped on us in our bed.

Luckily for me, however, my insomnia has faded since we're getting the ball rolling on some of DS's issues that I have been worrying myself sick over. Today was an all around better day and I don't feel as tired, even though I should. Weird, huh?

Right now we're at it again though. DD went down at 6:45, DS at 7, DD woke up just as I left the room putting DS down, then we rocked in the chair long enough for her to go to sleep, just in time for DS to wake up to pee. Now she is up for good. Probably another 9:30-10:00 bedtime for her, hoping that DS doesn't wake up anymore.

It is DH's "night off", of which I am supposed to get 2 to his 1 since the kids have been so needy lately. What usually ends up happening is that both kids decide that they will be little terrors when I have planned my time off and the whole thing gets rescheduled so that I can miss it again next week. I need a break.

Leone, sorry to hear about the NW failure. I'm pretty sure your DD is fine. We NW DS at 19 mo, but it absolutely would never have worked if I hadn't gotten him used to the idea that he could actually achieve sleep without nursing. That meant learning to go to sleep initially without nursing. We rocked and sang songs and bounced, etc., and he cried some, but it wasn't so horrible. After we did that for, I think, 3 weeks, I started working on cutting out the nighttime nursing. It's all a little blurry to me because I was pregnant at the time and feeling absolutely desperate because my nipples were on fire when he nursed.

*Sigh*, looks like DD might be ready for bed sooner.
post #31 of 159
I'm just posting in here to say the 20 month old at my feet wakes up every two hours. Eight months ago it was every four. I don't get a lot of help IRL, except from one friend whose son is like mine. The pediatrician says he should have been STTN since he weighed ten pounds. My SIL's perfect baby has been STTN since he was six months old and is so mellow that my SIL started trying for her second as soon as he was a year old.

Me, I just sold my boy's baby things at a consignment sale so that if I ever do start sleeping again, I won't be tempted to think it "wasn't that bad."

But...

I will say that I know I am not alone. It helps, sometimes.

Also: My son is a terrible sleeper, but he puts away his own laundry (no, really, I don't help at all after I fold everything), wipes up his high chair after he eats, and builds wonderful things from blocks. His fine motor control regularly astounds people.

I'm not making sense because I have not slept since I was six months pregnant. I'm trying to say the thing I cling to is that there are things our babies do better than anyone else's.

We just didn't happen to get sleepers.

If anyone actually manages to night wean, let the rest of us know
post #32 of 159
Quote:
Originally Posted by Louisep View Post

And, oh my god, the jealousy thing of other babies and parents who can actually go out for the night and have a sitter. I just don't talk about sleep with them anymore and truly, I don't even socialize with many of those friends anymore. They don't get it and just offer insulting advice or give me pity I don't want. Sigh.

That's why this thread is so great! We know we're not alone and for us, these sleep patterns are normal and we'll all get through it. (Although as I just took an hour to get DS down for what is sure to be a 45 minute nap, I feel at my wits end!).
Uhhh yeah. Maybe that is why I have been avoiding all my mom/baby groups and various events where I would otherwise be socializing with those mamas. I thought it was just the weather getting cold and me being tired/lazy/apathetic, but some of it is that I hardly have anything in common (it feels) with the moms who are actually happy and functional right now, I don;t want to hear/see about it. *sigh* That's pretty pitiful of me, huh?

I know it doesn't help us to isolate ourselves.. but we do have someone coming over at least once a day lately, have ramped up the friends and family list and they have really stepped up, so I do have one (or two) on one support from mamas who may have already survived this stage.. It would be nice to have a friend with a babe my son's age though, I had (have, lol, I guess I am not allowed to be that apathetic today) one close friend with a babe a couple weeks older, but she has gone through a lot of changes (considering a split from living with her partner even though they'd still be co-parenting and working on their relationship, going back to school) so I get that we all have our issues, but I feel like I have been the one to help her out all the time, from lining her up with a doula for free and teaching her about natural birth (which she was sooo happy with) to supporting in her nursing and pumping at work when she had to go back for a bit, to offering to co-op and trade off so we can both get our studying done, I have gone and dragged her out of her house when she was ignoring her phone in the throes of teething and PPD and I was worried about her and in the end she thanked me for that, I have brought her food, I mean, I just want to feel like people are somewhat reliable (and maybe I am overly sensitive to this issue because 1) i am sleep deprived, that'll make you oversensitive to anything, and 2) ds' biological "father" has pulled all sorts of unreliable back and forth sh!t on me during pregnancy and now, and I know that ultimately my son will be the one bearing the brunt of that and it PISSES ME OFF AND HURTS because i cannot protect him (legally, in my state, and emotionally) there have been family members and a close friend whose kiddos are now teens who have really stepped up, and one mama with younger kids, who has actually been reliable, but then i feel like, she won't let me pay her (which i can hardly afford, so in a way that is good for me but i still feel like a piece of crap) and it's like, i know that she and her dh are both able to mostly work from home or she sahm and that they parent well together and it's not a huge thing but still, her being here with me lately IS taking her from her kids and i don't want to feel responsible for that. it's like, screwed if you do screwed if you don't. i don't know if i am making any sense (another one of those nights- actually, DS slept great and i am the one who didn't for once, how f'ing lovely/ironic is that...) but i feel guilty for accepting help from those who can and want to, and then pissed off at the people who offer to help and then don't show or back out for stupid reasons. maybe i just need not to overanalyze things when i am this incoherent and sleep deprived. thank you to thread for being a place where other mamas, if anyone, might somewhat understand where i am at. i just cannot believe that MY SON slept for 9 hours straight, i mean he was attached to the boob for 9 hours but still he was awake and comfortable and not thrashing or crying.. and then i didn't get any real/good sleep and i feel more tired than when i went to bed. oh the f'ing irony.
post #33 of 159
I am so happy to have found this thread! Actually, I found it last night while my beautiful DS was screaming/crying My son is almost 10 months old and we still swaddle him, he loves it! we also hold/rock him to sleep for his naps and bedtime - it works for us.. or it used to.

The last couple of nights have been awful! He used to sleep from about 9-3:30/4am wake up to bf and then get rocked to sleep again, usually in under 30 mins, then sleep until 8am. Last night I couldn't get him to sleep until 11 (had been trying for 3 hours!) then he woke up at 2, 4, 8:45... He has 8 teeth but by the way he chews his thumb it looks like another tooth could be coming in (we give him teething tabs and Tylenol but that didn't even work the last couple of nights). I ended up putting him in his crib because I was exhausted/frustrated and he cried and cried and of course I cried too! I picked him up and rock him some more, eventually he feel asleep. I feel like Ive tried everything, I even went out and bought him that aquarium that attach's to the crib to sooth him! (we try not to have plastic battery operated toys here..) he has a womb bear too!

I don't understand what has happened?! Could it be a growth spurt? maybe he's in too much pain and the Tylenol isn't working?

I'm so worried that this wont go away and that he'll be like this when I go back to work in December My DH works evenings so I'm battling him 5 nights a week on my own..

The one thing that was a relief was reading all of your posts last night and seeing that I'm not alone
post #34 of 159
Another sleep deprived mama joining in!

DS is almost 16 months old & has never been a "good sleeper." He has gone through periods where he has slept for about 5 hours straight (although he hasn't done that in months).

Up until a month ago, I could always get him to go back to sleep by nursing. But now he will wake up, screaming and won't go back to sleep for at least 2-3 hours. I can get him back to sleep, but the second I put him down, he wakes up. So either I nurse, rock, bounce or pat and then repeat until he finally stays asleep. It is so frustrating.

I know that he is teething, but other than that I can't figure out why he will stay asleep for 3-4 hours and then be up for 2-3 hours.

DS is our first, I really want more children but this not sleeping thing is killing me. My brain is mush, I have no energy and I'm always tired.

I have mentioned this to our ped. She had no advice as her own son is 5 and still gets up at night sometimes. She said that her son didn't STTN until he was 2.
post #35 of 159
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaMo View Post
Another sleep deprived mama joining in!

DS is almost 16 months old & has never been a "good sleeper." He has gone through periods where he has slept for about 5 hours straight (although he hasn't done that in months).

Up until a month ago, I could always get him to go back to sleep by nursing. But now he will wake up, screaming and won't go back to sleep for at least 2-3 hours. I can get him back to sleep, but the second I put him down, he wakes up. So either I nurse, rock, bounce or pat and then repeat until he finally stays asleep. It is so frustrating.

I know that he is teething, but other than that I can't figure out why he will stay asleep for 3-4 hours and then be up for 2-3 hours.

DS is our first, I really want more children but this not sleeping thing is killing me. My brain is mush, I have no energy and I'm always tired.

I have mentioned this to our ped. She had no advice as her own son is 5 and still gets up at night sometimes. She said that her son didn't STTN until he was 2.
I have no advice because we're in the same boat, but I thought I would give you a Maybe tonight will be a good night!
post #36 of 159
So nice to read of other mothers who are having similar issues.

DS is 10+ months old. He naps ok, usually 2 naps, 1-2 hours each.

I read NCSS and started a bedtime routine and earlier bedtime and so he's in bed by 7:30 each night (in his own crib).

Then, he wakes about every 2-3 hours (or more frequently) through the night. I try to put him back in his crib, but I'd say 80% of the time, we wake up together in my bed. I'd really love it for him to sleep through the night again, but he's a little guy and I was worried about him getting enough. He also only takes <10 oz. during the day when I work (who knows when I'm home nursing). So, I'm sure at one point he was reverse cycling... when can I night wean? checking out Dr. Gordon now
post #37 of 159
So much to say but nak bc I'm in bed prematurely AGAIN as DS won't stay asleep without me. For months even though he work every 1-2 hours once I was in bed he would at least stay asleep for 2-3 hours after I put him down. That me time is so important to recharge when your LO is attached 22 hours a day you know? So for weeks now we haven't had it. He sleeps through one sleep cycle and wakes up. He may stay down for another sleep cycle if I'm lucky. It's not even like I'm his transitional object since DH is having increasing success at putting him down at night. OMG this is amazing btw (DH), MAJOR breakthrough. He's even on occasion put him down AWAKE!!

So there are some good things happening but he's also not sleeping without me in bed. Any thoughts? It's not asking much to have two hours to myself a day I don't think. Sigh.

Also as the PP said, I am so sad that this sleep deprivation makes me question having another child. I so want another but not sure I can do this again unless it miraculousy changes.

Sorry for any typos - nak thumb typing in a dark room!
post #38 of 159
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeaAline View Post
So nice to read of other mothers who are having similar issues.

DS is 10+ months old. He naps ok, usually 2 naps, 1-2 hours each.

I read NCSS and started a bedtime routine and earlier bedtime and so he's in bed by 7:30 each night (in his own crib).

Then, he wakes about every 2-3 hours (or more frequently) through the night. I try to put him back in his crib, but I'd say 80% of the time, we wake up together in my bed. I'd really love it for him to sleep through the night again, but he's a little guy and I was worried about him getting enough. He also only takes <10 oz. during the day when I work (who knows when I'm home nursing). So, I'm sure at one point he was reverse cycling... when can I night wean? checking out Dr. Gordon now
I know it's all relative, but boy would I like my DS to sleep like your LO! I bet he is reverse cycling and catching up at night. I don't know much about weaning yet. Good luck!
post #39 of 159

checking in again....

Me again...

Thank you to all the Mama's giving me hugs and advice from my last post. I gave up on the NWing for now, it was too exhausting and traumatic for both of us. I'm just giving in to her sleep arrangement for now, she is nursing constantly all night right now, more than usual which I am attributing to teething so all I can do is help her feel better.

As far as allergies go, I have worked on that since she was born and determined she was/is allergic to cow milk protein and have avoided all dairy and soy since she was 3 months old. Just now I am starting to reintroduce it into my system again and she is doing fine with it. I try my best not to go to the Dr. because I'm on a Military base and they are not very accepting of my parenting choices.

And btw, the jealously issue kills me...I don't really have any moms IRL going through the same thing as me, I have some crunchy friends who understand my choices but they have not been through it. But the rest of them are mainstream and I don't even bring it up with them because I know their reactions/advice. One of the big reasons I wanted to NW is because for Xmas we are going to Hawaii to see my in laws and it might be the only chance in the next 3/4 years that DH and I get to go to out alone, but I guess we can maybe get an hour or 2 for lunch even if she's not NW'd yet.

Good luck for everyone tonight!!
post #40 of 159
well another night oh man.. up and down every half hour to forty minutes.. nak and bouncing at the keyboard craning my neck as we speak.. i know there are others out there (depending on time zone, it's around 2 am here) have to get up in 5 hours.. today i just cried and raged for hours (so did ds) i never thought one could feel this awful but it helps somewhat to know i am not alone, misery loves company i guess.
grandma watched ds while i got a good 2.5 hour nap if it weren't for that i dont know what i would do.. thank hte universe for naps and for grandmothers.. but some aspects of our relationship are so unhealthy, i dont know how this will progress as ds becomes older and more aware of these aspects of our relationship and interactions, not to mention those with his bio-fether.. but one thing at a time i guess, just focus on the sleep.. i just have to keep up with ncss and see what works- been doing the logs, at least as much as i can with sleep deprivation and my awful memory) and he seems to be getting better at being set down but he wakes right up, the longest sleep intervals seems to be insanely short, average 30-45 minutes, longest maybe 1.5-2 hours.. ugh.

good luck mamas, keep in touch.
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