Breaking Point Mamas Unite - Page 3

[pumpkinseed]

Me, me-i want to join

My dh says that dd2 is the "worst sleeper in the history of babies"...that is my criteria for joining you guys

DD2 is 16 months and takes around an hour and a half to 2 hours to go to sleep. Its getting worse this past month and I have no idea why. She wakes up every few hours-I dance if I get 3.5 straight-its typically around every 2-3. She does the up for a few hours at a time during the night thing as well.

The one thing that has changed though in recent weeks is that she is napping wonderfully-I used to have to fight both naps and night-but I can actually get her down for a nap in about 10 minutes So at least I am a little less stressed.

I don't think all of this would be so horrible-but I also have an almost 5 yr old dd who is always on the go-so I have no time to sleep during the day-and feel horrible when I have to "neglect" my 5 yo in order to be able to get my littlest one to sleep. My dh has fully taken over 5 yo bedtime-I miss putting her to sleep She sleeps on her own-I just miss the snuggling and the reading and the stories she tells me at night-those of you with older kids also realize how much you learn about your child's day in the "dark of the night"-when you are laying there in the dark just chatting. Its so sweet. And I miss it horribly.

[InMediasRes]

So, we're here again at 3 AM.

DD is doing her business on her potty. I can't believe that she wakes up EVERY FREAKING NIGHT to poop at 3 AM on the dot. There has GOT to be some way to get past that.

Oy, I'm exhausted. Last night she was up at 3 and didn't go back down until 6 AM. I fell asleep in the chair with her and had a horrible dream that woke me up with the worst crick in my neck. When I took her upstairs, she slept for 40 more min and then was up for the day.

DH came home over his lunch to try to give me a nap, but it seems that I am completely unable to sleep without a nursing baby next to me. Seriously, she is MY lovey. I was completely and utterly exhausted, and I still couldn't sleep. This is ridiculous!!!

Hopefully she will go back to sleep this time right when she's done.

[vtcountrymama]

"but it seems that I am completely unable to sleep without a nursing baby next to me. Seriously, she is MY lovey. I was completely and utterly exhausted, and I still couldn't sleep. This is ridiculous!!!"

I feel the same way! It seems crazy, but I just can't fall asleep without DD nursing. If I nurse her to sleep and get up, when I return to bed, I have to wait for her to wake up and nurse again to fall asleep.

Anyway, I've been reading all these posts today, because last night was dreadful! We co-sleep, and DH sleeps in another room. DD will be one y/o in 2 weeks. Last night, she wanted to nurse all night long!! I only nurse off one side, so the whole side of my body was sore from laying on it all night. When we got up this morning, I said to DH that we were going to start NW. Then today, I realized that DD's teeth are bothering her. She's been chewing her finger, the cupboards...so, I'm a bit relieved to have reached the decision that we don't have to start NW, and that this will pass. I just have my fingers crossed that tonight will be better.

[csrabine]

Oh mamas, I am totally with you on this one... When he was an infant, I thought that I lucked out and that DS would be a good sleeper... He would regularly sleep 4-5 hour stretches at night from about 1 month to about 4 months. Then from about 4 months on (right about after the darned teeth started coming in), it went progressively downhill. Now he wakes at LEAST every hour (wanting boob), with the last part of the night (from 3 am on) being more like every 1/2 hour. I am SO tired, and it is SO difficult because I also work full-time. I am a total zombie and some days I wonder if I'll ever be normal again! DD was actually worse than DS, though (if you can imagine that), so I keep reminding myself that it could be worse... Someday when I find the energy I will attempt to night-wean (DS is 15 1/2 months and does not have boob during the day) and see if that will help, but I am so tired I don't even have the energy to try something different, KWIM? Glad to know that I'm not the only one with a crazy non-sleeper! Good luck mamas!

[InMediasRes]

This is where I think I heard the term "mombie" (mom + zombie). It totally describes me.

Last night was actually AMAZINGLY GOOD, if you count amazingly good as having to get up 6+ times. At least she didn't wake up at 3 AM to poop and I got to stay in bed all night. I did take her to pee twice when she didn't actually have to, but oh well. I feel like a million bucks!

Hope you other mamas are doing well too.

[coleybug]

You know, I don't want to "jinx" myself, so lets just say things are right now...

I feel like there is progress. Monday night he slept almost 5 hours. He hasn't done that in months. And last night he slept over 3 hours in the beginning of the night, usually it's 2 max. I put him down 30 minutes earlier than usual. I'm going to try 15 more minutes early tonight.

Keep plugging away mamas...it's got to get better sometime!!!

[BaMo]

Last night by far was the worst night we have ever experienced. The only plus side was DH was home so that at least he could help out. DS woke up at 10:30 and we couldn't get him to go back to sleep until 4 am.

We did everything that we could think of to get him to go back to sleep. He would not stop hysterically crying.

I never thought that I would miss the days when he was up 6x a night but I could at least get him to go back to sleep by nursing.

I just don't know how much more of this I can take.

[InMediasRes]

Originally Posted by BaMo

Last night by far was the worst night we have ever experienced. The only plus side was DH was home so that at least he could help out. DS woke up at 10:30 and we couldn't get him to go back to sleep until 4 am.

We did everything that we could think of to get him to go back to sleep. He would not stop hysterically crying.

I never thought that I would miss the days when he was up 6x a night but I could at least get him to go back to sleep by nursing.

I just don't know how much more of this I can take.

Hang in there, Mama. We're all here with you!

[Louisep]

Can't face the day

It was a really bad one last night. I thought it would be good since DS stayed asleep for 2 hours after I put him down. He woke at 8:30pm, I nursed him. He woke at 9:45pm hysterically crying. Since he'd just nursed I figured he wasn't hungry and he's not much of a comfort nurser so I just tried cuddling him but he kept pushing me away. Eventually I put the light on and he wouldn't open his eyes as if he were still asleep. Finally he opened his eyes and grew calm. What was that all about?

The rest of the night he tossed and turned and was up every hour. I just nursed him back down every time.

I would have said he's teething but I can't see any signs of new teeth. He keeps pulling at his ears and the back of his head though.

I don't have the mental or physical energy for today. I feel awful, but I would give anything to trade places with DH and go to work for the day.

[mama2mygirl]

Originally Posted by Louisep

It was a really bad one last night. I thought it would be good since DS stayed asleep for 2 hours after I put him down. He woke at 8:30pm, I nursed him. He woke at 9:45pm hysterically crying. Since he'd just nursed I figured he wasn't hungry and he's not much of a comfort nurser so I just tried cuddling him but he kept pushing me away. Eventually I put the light on and he wouldn't open his eyes as if he were still asleep. Finally he opened his eyes and grew calm. What was that all about?

The rest of the night he tossed and turned and was up every hour. I just nursed him back down every time.

I would have said he's teething but I can't see any signs of new teeth. He keeps pulling at his ears and the back of his head though.

I don't have the mental or physical energy for today. I feel awful, but I would give anything to trade places with DH and go to work for the day.

If he's pulling at his little ears I would worry about an ear infection.
Sorry about your horrible night. We've been up all night here too. So tired.

[InMediasRes]

Originally Posted by Louisep

It was a really bad one last night. I thought it would be good since DS stayed asleep for 2 hours after I put him down. He woke at 8:30pm, I nursed him. He woke at 9:45pm hysterically crying. Since he'd just nursed I figured he wasn't hungry and he's not much of a comfort nurser so I just tried cuddling him but he kept pushing me away. Eventually I put the light on and he wouldn't open his eyes as if he were still asleep. Finally he opened his eyes and grew calm. What was that all about?

The rest of the night he tossed and turned and was up every hour. I just nursed him back down every time.

I would have said he's teething but I can't see any signs of new teeth. He keeps pulling at his ears and the back of his head though.

I don't have the mental or physical energy for today. I feel awful, but I would give anything to trade places with DH and go to work for the day.

Sounds like ear infection, or drainage from a previous cold. Also, that waking hysterical thing sounds a little like a night terror. DS had some around 1ish because his sleep was so out of whack. When he started getting better rest (and more regularly), they went away.



I don't think I would trade places with DH right now. He is just as sleep deprived as I am. DS is not sleeping well at all and we are just not figuring out what's going on. He's in the evaluation process for his sensory issues, but still no answers yet. He just can't seem to let go at night, and he tosses and turns all night long. Every little thing wakes him. Our doc recommended some melatonin, but I'm a little wary. We might try it to see if it drastically helps.

DD actually slept pretty well last night, not so well the night before. She's really really really about to start crawling, so she's burning off more energy during the day.

[Funny Face]

Hi, my name is Funny Face and my 10 mo. old son is a terrible sleeper! He's never slept well. He has just gotten to where he goes down for a nap more easily (most of the time) but night time and all night are just a nightmare. I can't think, I have no short term memory, I can't focus on anything, I run into things, knock things over, injure myself accidentally constantly. I feel like a shell of a human being many days. I've also officially lost my mind because I actually have baby fever right now while alternately just wishing I was dead.

STTN is not even on my radar. It seems a ridiculous thing to even wish for... I'd settle for 3 hour stretches, toss in a 4 hour if you want me to be overjoyed.

I wish people would stop telling me to feed him lots of baby food to 'fill him up so he's not hungry at night'. I don't even want to night wean, he doesn't seem to want to eat every time he wakes up so less eating isn't event he issue, I don't think.

Originally Posted by LeoneLover13

Now I am experiencing so much guilt from making her go through so much and just giving in, or letting her cry so hard and all she needed was a quick nurse because she was hurting...and all I can think of is her raised stress levels last night and how she probably can't figure out what she did wrong and why I wouldn't let her nurse...

This is why I haven't tried to nightwean at all, I think this is exactly what would happen with ds.

Originally Posted by Gillian28

But the hardest part is hearing of other babies who sleep through the night. Which seems like every baby I know IRL. I get so angry and jealous. Which is awful, I know. Especially when they assume that our problems are due to cosleeping. Ugh...

I don't even talk to people about our sleep issues because they too blame it entirely on cosleeping. I also want to vomit on people who don't know what it's like to have a baby that doesn't sleep. "She just gradually started STTN on her own ." :Puke

I have to say that I think I feel worse for those of you whose baby slept well early on or who have had tastes of what good sleep feels like. Ds had a 3 hour stretch a few times in his life and I would wake up thinking we're making progress and then remain depressed and pissed off for DAYS when he reverts back to his old ways the very next night.

There are nights where I think "I can't do this anymore. I hate my life!" and I just want to run away! The scary thing is to think 'What if my next baby is even worse at sleeping?!'

s to all you mamas. I was so happy to find you all!

[Louisep]

Originally Posted by Funny Face

I also want to vomit on people who don't know what it's like to have a baby that doesn't sleep. "She just gradually started STTN on her own ." :Puke

I love it! You totally cheered me up with this! I had to laugh. You express perfectly how I feel about this. And I totally agree about the food thing.

So, I made it through the day. It was better than I hoped. And once again we're nearing night time and I have such stupid optimism that tonight will be the night! Duh.

[LeoneLover13]

LMAO Funny Face...

I don't even talk to people about our sleep issues because they too blame it entirely on cosleeping. I also want to vomit on people who don't know what it's like to have a baby that doesn't sleep. "She just gradually started STTN on her own ."

That made my day also. And my day was pretty crappy.

Louisep and BaMo I am sorry to hear that you are having hard times right now, I will jump on that wagon right along with you though

Teething SUCKS. It never, ever seems to end and when it's bad it's horrific. DD has been waking every 30 mins again the past 3 nights due to those little a-holes in her mouth. Motrin barely works, teething tablets are a joke, the only way to possibly help is a boob. And even that doesn't work half the time.

Last night SUCKED. She was out on our walk and stayed asleep at 8pm.Woke every 30-60 mins for me to nurse, shh, pat to sleep whilst she threw herself around the bed. The only thing that seems to help her is laying her on a pillow or boppy with her head hanging off it. Seems like that would make it worse to me, but it's the only way proven to work so far.
DH and I went to bed around 11pm and were messing around and giggling and were about to go to the other room to...ahem...when she stood up wide awake! #@&*!?~#$*&^

So then DH gave up and passed out whilst I spent the next 2 hours trying to get her back to sleep. Sweet.

I'm just praying this will end soon, because it most definitely goes in cycles, so it HAS to get better soon.

Good luck Mamas!!

[Louisep]

If only it were teething for us. DS got 8 teeth by 7 months but nothing since.

We are now in new territory. The last 2 nights he has tossed and turned waking every 20 mins to an hour. We've not had this before. Last night he didn't cry. He needs physical pressure on him to stay asleep or to be pressed right up against me. The second I fall asleep and slacken he's awake.

It's just happened for his nap.

Another thing, he's having bad dreams & night terrors. WTH?

The irony is his sleep has gotten worse since he started putting himself to sleep. All the books say that's the secret to STTN.

Have a docs appoinment this AM to rule out an ear infection. I'm going to plead with him to take our sleep issues seriously. Usually they dismiss it. Not that they will have an answer.

I can deal with this for a few more months but I can't deal with much more. I'm a shell of my former self and like PP, I wanted more kids but now I'm terrified of a repeat.

[Louisep]

Oh crap

So the pedi said DS has four molars coming through! I'll sleep when I'm dead??!!

Poor little guy. Like Leonelover13, teething aids don't work for us, not even motrin.

[go_blue]

Thanks for starting this thread. I need to share, to help me see things more clearly (writing and sharing with others makes me more honest with myself and allows me to view the situation a little more objectively). I can empathize with some of you, and others make me feel like my situation is not so bad...

My Situation...
DD is approaching 2. She has never STTN. Best case was 5-6 hours about 2 or 3 nights when she was about 7 weeks old. Normal for us is first stretch of sleep for 3 hours at night, then wake to nurse every 1-2 hours. Often there is a marathon from 12-2 when she is latched on the whole time and I am too tired to latch her off. I sleep with DD in her bed. On bad nights she is latched on almost all night (typically when sick or intense teething). Luckily for me, she does nap daily and she is seldom wide awake in the middle of the night, and it does not take an unreasonable amount of time for her to fall asleep each night (30 min on average).

I agree that teething feels like a cause for the frequent night feedings and comfort-seeking. Too bad for us that DD started teething around 4 months, but her first teeth didn't break until 10 months. Now she is on to the 2-year molars. Please tell me that I am getting near the end of teething. Before I became a parent, I never realized that teething would last so long, nor did I realize how much work it would be to get my daughter to sleep and keep her to sleep.

I am close to starting NW. I consider myself in the preparation phase right now, but there is always some "good" reason why "now" is not the right time. I have started to incorporate some aspects of NCCS (pull-off, cue phase). I have given myself a goal to NW by end of year. My "reason" (some may call these excuses) for not NW had been that it would be too demanding since I worked FT and couldn't possibly have the stamina to make it through the NW phase. Then I quit work to be SAHM (very thankful that I can be), but I didn't want to NW right away b/c of the life transition for DD (from daycare to being with me all day). Then we traveled to visit family. Then we came back home and needed to get back on schedule. Now she is teething (which I expect will last for a few months - if past teething experiences repeat). I realize there will never be a good time to NW. Her windows of good times are unpredictable and short.

I'd like to get pregnant within next year, but I am bf'ing so much (this week has been practically every hour!!! due to teething) that I still don't have my period. NW is first logical place for me to start with weaning because I hope DD and I will both benefit from more sleep.

I need to build up the confidence that we will survive NW and DD will still love me. I need to accept that NW will be hard and I will be cranky and tired. I'm not there yet, though. It is difficult for me to imagine getting even less sleep for an unknown period of time.

I hope these threads will help me boost my confidence in NW. I'd love to hear some success stories from others!!!

[LeoneLover13]

warning....AT MY BREAKING POINT

Originally Posted by Louisep

So the pedi said DS has four molars coming through! I'll sleep when I'm dead??!!

Poor little guy. Like Leonelover13, teething aids don't work for us, not even motrin.

I'm pretty sure that's what DD is getting too. I usually give her 1/2 doses of Motrin but I have had to give her almost a full dose for it to work at all, and for her (and I) to be able to get SOME sleep. And like I said earlier, the sleeping with her head hanging off a pillow.

I always hope that 'this time' will be the last of the bad teething and then it progressively gets worse, and then I just read go_blue's post and got really depressed......another YEAR?!?!? I can't do it..ARRRGGGHH...I don't have a choice really!! I thought they got pretty much the last of their teeth at 2y/o so here's hoping for you go_blue!!

Today is HORRIFIC again..I got maybe 4/5 hrs of sleep last night because 1. She woke every 30-60 mins thrashing around and 2. I couldn't go to sleep from being anxious she was going to wake up any second.
This is day 5 now I think and I'm getting reeeeal close to my breaking point again. I yelled at her today, then apologized and cried, I kicked her balls as hard as I could to get out some aggression....felt REALLY good BTW...and it has been taking me over 2 hours to write this freaking post because every time I move she freaks out crying, whining, yelling or throwing something. She is finally napping, for GOD WILLING 1 or 2 hours..

I feel like a crappy Mom again. I can't help her if I can't help myself. I don't get sleep, food, time to myself, the ability to NOT be anxious, nothing, how am I supposed to muster the energy and compassion to devote myself to her when she is hurting so much? Why does nature let it get like this? It can't be right for us to feel so angry at such young children, how is this supposed to make us better mothers? There HAS to be some kind of reasoning behind it, naturally we do not want them to cry so we don't CIO, but now naturally we are put through heck for making such a wise decision and end up with feelings of wanting to throw the baby across the room!! It makes me feel like maybe we are wrong and we are supposed to go against our instinct and let them CIO?

What gives Mother Freakin' Nature?!?!

[Louisep]

Welcome Go_blue, I hope you find support here.

Leonelover13, I think our LOs are twins right now. How many teeth does she have? My son has 8 not including the molars. I guess it's true that babies who teeth early suffer more. And I think the molars are meant to be the most brutal.

My DH gave me a two hour lie in this morning and it took off the edge, although I have a pounding headache from falling asleep and waking up constantly.

Not much of inspiration to add!

[Swandira]

Hi, all!

I know, in my heart of hearts, that I'm not a true Breaking Point Mama. However, lately my sweet, beautiful 10-month-old boy has been giving me some insight into how it is for you ladies.

He used to wake up only once or twice a night. Now he wakes up five or six times. (I know, to a lot of you that probably doesn't sound too bad!) I have a 3-year-old and a 6-year-old also, and I can't stay in bed past 7 am, because they need me, and besides, they'll come in and wake me up then even if I try to sleep. Anyway, my little girl has preschool three mornings a week and my bigger boy has homeschool-enrichment classes on other days as well, so I have places to be (and I generally have to drive to these places, which scares me given my sleep-deprived state.)

My baby wakes up and nurses all the time now. If I try to move or roll away from him a little he wakes up and screams. I have to be touching him, with the boob in his mouth until he drops it, or he screams and climbs up on top of me, and in his sleepy state he keeps losing muscle control during his screaming fits and falls over, head-butting me (often in the face, because that's where he crawls to) with his enormous, 95th+-percentile cranium that is probably half of his body-weight. Sometimes, after more than an hour of nursing him, I can't stand it anymore and I'll start crying and begging him to go back to sleep, but he just can't do it anymore without a boob in his mouth. And sometimes he'll nurse until he's full and then just decide it's time to play with us. He'll crawl back and forth between us and giggle, but we have to cover our heads because of the head-butting.

To make matters worse, my older kids, who used to sleep in the same bed, now are sleeping in separate rooms (at the insistence of the older one), and consequently both wind up coming into our room during the night, each waking me up again. Even though I'm exhausted, I often wind up staring at the wall for over an hour in the middle of the night because some kid has woken me up at the wrong point in my sleep cycle.

I yell at my older kids all the time now. My oldest gets very little teaching from me, although I'm not an unschooler by choice! I eat junk food just to stay awake during the afternoon, and sometimes I still fall asleep and wake up to find the 3-year-old has drawn on the table with a sharpie or some equally irritating crisis. I'm full of resentment for my husband, who tries to take the baby downstairs at night so I can sleep for a little while, but it's never very long before the baby wakes up and cries, and they come back upstairs and the permalatching begins. This post is the longest thing I've written in weeks. I only wish it were fiction like my usual stuff.

Post cut short because the baby is up again, probably for the day. Thanks for letting me whine, even though I know it could be a lot worse. Still, even this sucks.

Nealy
mama to T, 6; L, 3; and O, 12/12/08