Prior to joining the family business, I worked as a business analyst at a bank for a number of years and dealt with lots of start ups and existing small businesses.
I don't have any recommendations for software.
However, Small Business Development Centers can be a GREAT resourse that is generally free. Google SDBC for your area. Where I live, they are operated in conjunction with colleges and there is at least 3 within a hours drive.
A SBDC would help you with a business plan as well educate you on all aspects of employment taxes, bookkeeping, projections, etc. Sometimes there is a small fee for attending a seminar like if you wanted to learn taxes in a classroom setting, for example.
SCORE can also be helpful. I have had mixed experiences with SCORE. The one time, the two volunteers were very helpful. The second time, the volunteer was super focused on his area of expertise and couldn't get off that subject. But its free so you would have nothing to lose.
Is it doable with a toddler? Don't know. I can say for certain running your own business is probably 10x (maybe 50x) harder and time consuming than anyone ever expects. The behind the scenes stuff like filing taxes, dealing with suppliers, tracking down shipments and such takes so much time and energy away from the desirable part of the business.
How long it will take depends on so many factors - financing, securing a location, approvals and inspections.
There are programs for start-up businesses. I have been away from them for a while but the SBDC would certainly have a list. SBA loans (Small Business Administration) is the one I had most experience with.
In general, the loans come from a traditional bank but are guaranteed by the government. My thoughts on government loans and grants:
Concerning grants - My experience is limited in this area but all grants that I saw for woman and/or start ups came in the form of services.
I had one potential customer that received a $25,000 grant (Ben Franklin maybe) for a new business but it could only be used for accounting/bookkeeping. She wasn't actually given any money. The grant provided access to services.
Other grants did provide capital for equipment but there was a lot of red tape to cut thru.
Concerning loan programs, a few things -
Exhaust all conventional options first. There are hidden costs in government loans. While the interest rates can be lower, the financial reporting requirements are usually much more expensive than "normal" accounting services. Example - a small business might be able to get by with a bookkeeping helping prepare taxes. SBA loans require (or did) Review quality financial statements. The cost of which can run into the thousands.
Be very, very informed of collateral requirements. The number of SBA borrowers I saw that pledged their houses as collateral and lived to regret it is tragic. Lots of start up businesses fail and the business assets usually don't come close to covering the debt. When there is a short fall, the bank will go after any real estate. With government backed loans, it is up to the bank to exhaust all means of collections first. Only when the bank can prove their loses does the goverment cover the whats left.
