Reincarnation? If so, how to proceed...

[siamelsa]

My dd woke up one morning at 3 and a half years old and matter-of-factly stated: "When I was Auntie_____'s baby, ..."

She has 6 aunts, 3 of whom have children. The aunt whom dd believes she used to live with happens to have lost a 1-month-old baby to SIDS about a month before dd was born. I had not discussed this with either of my children as I had been unsure of how I should approach it.

I consider myself agnostic, open to possibilities. I felt compelled to ask dd more questions. Her answers were consistent with the theory that she is my baby neice reincarnated. Certain details, such as particular family members that have not lived together since dd was born seem impossible to have come from dd's imagination. Dd seems to think that either I gave her to my sister for a while or that my sister gave her to me.

My sister as well as our whole family is left with an open wound over the loss of her baby girl 4 years ago, and I don't feel comfortable discussing the subject, as it is painful for all of us.

I don't know much about reincarnation or anything about how it works. I'm not certain all this isn't just some bizarre coincidence, but what if it isn't? Where should I go from here?

[Aubergine68]

What a difficult situation for your family....one of my children was born a month after a young cousin died and it was so hard in so many ways. s

Maybe some research into this topic would help? I read a lot about children and reincarnation a few years ago. The major author then was Ian Stevenson

I remember my dd at about age 2 talking about when she lived with her grandma and had a brown dress and her grandma cooked yellow potatoes for her to eat in a big pan over the fire -- none of which made *any* sense in the context of her life with me or her experiences. My dd eventually stopped talking about this "time".

I would probably just let it go, listen if she talked about it, and assume that whatever happened happened for a reason.

[Adele_Mommy]

Wouldn't the fact that your dd "knows" details about your family members argue against reincarnation? Because if she were the reincarnation of a baby that died at 1 month, it seems to me she wouldn't remember any details about her former life just like she doesn't remember anything about the time when she was 1 month-old in this life. When people remember former lives I thought they usually remembered details about their time as an adult or older child. Just a thought. I don't know what caused your dd to say that, if it is just coincidence or something else, but my initial inclination is to think it's not reincarnation.

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

[Noelle C.]

There is nothing you need to do. Just write down what she says and see what happens, if she says more.

[wombatclay]

Interesting!

There's a book called Children's Past Lives: How Past Life Memories Affect Your Child (by Carol Bowman) that specifically focuses on children's memories/experiences of past lives. I don't know that I believe in recovering past life memories, but I did read the book... it explores the author's experiences with her own children, as well as other kiddos. Her premise is that children are more likely to remember past lives (since they don't "know" they can't) and that these memories are present because they represent something the child wants or needs to "work through". She offers advice to parents as well as her experiences.

Her advice basically boils down to "be open and listen" and to let the child lead the discussion so that if there is something they "need" to say or work through they can do that. She also suggests reminding the child that "that was in the past, I'm your mother now" or "this is your family now"... sort of leaving the door open for the child's memories to be valid but reassuring them that they are part of a new family/new story now. For example, one of her stories was of a child who remembered dying in a fire... the child was angry that her parents "then" hadn't rescued her and she was directing that anger at her "current" parents. The parents/therapist reassured the child that they would never leave her, and supported her in "remembering" the past incident as an objective viewer... the child realized her parents "then" had been upset that they couldn't save her and she was able to let the whole thing go. (Whether or not the story was "true" wasn't as important as the fact that the story provided that child/family with a healing solution to an emotional tension.)

Maybe see if the library has a copy of the book? Or think about what may have prompted your little one to say this at this time?

[wombatclay]

it seems to me she wouldn't remember any details about her former life just like she doesn't remember anything about the time when she was 1 month-old in this life. When people remember former lives I thought they usually remembered details about their time as an adult or older child.

From what I've read, I think the general belief is that the spirit-self remembers all the details of the life lived. So although a living person may not recall the details of their current life at age 1 month, their "spirit" does in fact remember all of these details and can access them between incarnations. So memories may involve details of what happened to the individual at a very early age, or what happened in the room immediately after their death. That sort of thing.

[CharlieToaster]

WOW!!! I do believe in re-incarnation. Your situation is very sticky though. I'd let your daughter talk and just let it be. It will take care of itself in time.

I have a friend who was supposed to be a triplet. She died inutero. She knew everything about the family etc.... She was led to go to the family and meet with those who would have been her brothers and her mom. She said it was an incredible, healing experience. BUT, she was in her 30's at the time. She was never actually born into that life time but she knew all the details surrounding the pregnancy etc... We are fully developed spirits that incarnate in human bodies starting as infants. The spirit, or greater part of us know a lot more then an infant.

[LauraN]

I'd be inclined to believe your daughter, and as PPs have said, write down everything she says so that you won't forget it/change it as time passes. But I don't think I'd tell your sister, especially if she's not open to the idea of reincarnation. But even if she was, I don't think I'd mention it. I would think it would be much too painful to her, and since it's not something you can prove definitively, it would be a difficult conversation that's probably best avoided.

[Subhuti]

It may or may not be true, but it does show a tie between your sister and your daughter. I wouldn't take it as something so heavy, either way. I believe we've all been reborn countless times, so this is entirely plausible, yet not remarkable, that your daughter was indeed your sister's child.

I might say something to my sister, just lightly, that your daughter feels she was once living with you. Let your sister take it whatever way she wants ... it connotes a nice bond. Why hide that? Or, it could have great meaning and offer great comfort for your sister. Why not allow that?

The only reason I wouldn't mention it to your sister is if she is very unbalanced or going thru a particularily destabalized time. Wait til the time is right.

[Kinguk]

Read Sylvia Browne's 'Psychic Children' ... Very interesting book with tons of stories just like the one you described in your post!

[Adele_Mommy]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

From what I've read, I think the general belief is that the spirit-self remembers all the details of the life lived. So although a living person may not recall the details of their current life at age 1 month, their "spirit" does in fact remember all of these details and can access them between incarnations. So memories may involve details of what happened to the individual at a very early age, or what happened in the room immediately after their death. That sort of thing.

Thank you for answering my question. I have another question. The OP says her niece died one month before her dd was born. So that means she was 8 months pregnant at the time. So did the unborn child inside her not have a spirit-self until that time? Or did the spirit-self of the niece replace the spirit-self of the dd? Or does dd now have two? Or maybe a sort of merged spirit-self?

I've often fantasized about the idea that there is some spiritual connection between my dd and my (deceased) mother, but my mother died 2-3 weeks before my dd was conceived, not born. We had been trying and trying to get pregnant for almost two years before that. My dd was born 9 months and three days after my mother died.

[wombatclay]

So did the unborn child inside her not have a spirit-self until that time? Or did the spirit-self of the niece replace the spirit-self of the dd? Or does dd now have two? Or maybe a sort of merged spirit-self?

I think this is the sort of thing where YMMV really applies! I've heard many stories in which spirit-selves "negotiate" incarnations (for lack of a better term). So if perhaps one incarnation can't be sustained but the spirit-self feels strongly that they "need" to be associated with a certain family right away then they may ask another spirit if they could "cut in line" and incarnate sooner (either to the same mother or to someone close).

I've often heard this sort of story (even here at mdc, just search this forum)... where a child announces that they had to wait because their first incarnation attempt ended in a m/c, or that they waited so that another spirit-self could have their turn because that other spirit really deserved/needed the second chance.

To be honest... I personally believe in reincarnation. But I'm less certain about the continuation of personailty. I firmly believe that a person's spirit lives after the physical body ends, but I don't know if that spirit remains distinct or if it mingles into new spirit or something of both. So while I read a lot, I'm not writing about my personal beliefs when it comes to specifics. If that makes sense?

[mommyshoppinghabit]

Originally Posted by Adele_Mommy

Thank you for answering my question. I have another question. The OP says her niece died one month before her dd was born. So that means she was 8 months pregnant at the time. So did the unborn child inside her not have a spirit-self until that time? Or did the spirit-self of the niece replace the spirit-self of the dd? Or does dd now have two? Or maybe a sort of merged spirit-self?

I've often fantasized about the idea that there is some spiritual connection between my dd and my (deceased) mother, but my mother died 2-3 weeks before my dd was conceived, not born. We had been trying and trying to get pregnant for almost two years before that. My dd was born 9 months and three days after my mother died.

The notion of time being linear is only true on our very basic level of thinking, on the level of thinking and consciousness that most humans have, but Einstein said that the only reason time exists is so everything doesn't happen all at the same time, another word, it's not necessarily linear. And past live (and future lives, for that matter) or not on a linear timeline. Future lives are discussed in Dr. Brian Weiss' book Same Soul, Many Bodies.