anger management

[jpaigeadams]

My toddler is definitely in the stage where he gets very angry, and also where he makes me very angry. I don't feel like I really know how to deal with my own anger, much less instruct him on how to deal with his. Can anyone recommend a good book on the subject?

[Paeta16]

I need to know this too...for my own sanity!

[mrsfatty]

HOW does he get angry?

It's OK to be angry...but there are constructive, healthy ways to get rid of that feeling and aggression.

"Hands are not for hitting" is a great book on hitting...and what hands are for...that is a children's book...

I think that when a child (or an adult) is frustrated, it's important to have tools to know what TO DO, instead of just having a "don't" list.

When my kids are angry:
They need to use their words, not their hands or feet or teeth, etc.
They can draw a picture of how angry they are (choose the angriest color, draw as fast as you are angry, make an angry face with markers, etc.--and then have them show you the picture when they are done--and then ask if they need to color it out more or if they are done)
They can BLOW it out--blowing a pinwheel or a feather or a balloon
They can stomp it out--stomp your feet
They can run it out--moving around gets out the tension
They can jump it out--jumping (like stomping) creates the noise and movement necessary to make them feel better
They can throw balls (certain balls in a certain room)
Clean up
They can leave the room and go somewhere to be alone if they want or need to

Think of activities and things TO DO when you're angry--come up with the ideas when you're calm, so you have a constructive list to work from and that you can look at when you guys are angry. For the non-reader--you can create pictures of activities to do when angry--explain the chart that has the pictures and practice.