What is considered retracting?

[sharkysmom]

My Ds is intact and almost five months, he has obviously been to the Dr. for his well visits. The dr. has touched his penis and kind of pushed down on the foreskin a little, not forcefully by any means and not even far enough to see the tip of his penis. Is that considered retracting? I'm guessing she is just checking for any discharge, I never really thought to ask what she was checking for because I never thought that was what retracting was....is it??

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Yes that is retracting and it is a big see this thread in the resources The Definition of Retraction & Why it is BAD.

There is nothing under there she needs to see and she can cause damage doing it so why take the risk. Micro tears can let in infection. The foreskin is very resilient but once the damage is done it can be a PITA to get under control again and it just isnt worth the risk.

The main issue is that if he isnt retractable by X age this will cause the Dr. to say there is a problem, when there is not. So if she never touches it she wont know if it is or not so she wont have that opportunity.

The best thing to do is just tell her you dont want her touching his foreskin at all since he is fine there. After having this done to my ds twice and having to remove the Dr's hands from my ds I no longer allow them to touch his penis at all.

[eepster]

The Dr should only do two things at a WBV with an intact penis. The first is to lift it up out of the way in order to check for undescended testes. The second is a quick visual inspection for diaper rash, which should not include any manipulation.

If the Dr tries to retract during either of those things, then you need to implement a hands off policy. It is important to keep an eye on the exam, and remind the Dr not to retract each time.

[Fellow Traveler]

Pretty much what has been said. The Dr. shouldn't be pushing back on is foreskin at all. Even if it doesn't seem to bother him any amount is best avoided. I would just mention at the next visit not to do that.

[sharkysmom]

Thank you all for the info, I will have to be more aware at the next visit and institute a "hands off" policy. It is great to have a resource like this.

[Greg B]

I didn't know much about intact penis care when my sons were young. Their doctor, who was pro intact, did as you describe as well. I almost stopped her when we made visits, but felt unsure of myself. She also made us hyper about when they would retract. Now I know a lot more and would stop them.

However, no harm was done. No effect that we could observe. The problem is that there is a fine line between doing something that does not cause harm and going too far and causing harm. Doctors are just plain meddlesome!!! No reason to do it, so don't. Very hard for doctors who are clueless about foreskin care, even if they are well intentioned.

Regards

[BananaBreadGirl]

Say something. Ask what she is doing, or what she will be doing (before she does it). My doctor did this (pushed down a little) at my son's one-month checkup and I didn't say anything. I assumed (wrongly) that it was normal, harmless, and that my doctor knew that it would be harmful to force it any further. At his two-month, he, without notice, retracted him quite a bit further (glans fully exposed), causing a crack/tear/stretch in his skin that hurt him when he peed, as well as an unusual discharge for over a week.

And for those of you who followed my "help me with my doctor letter" thread, my doctor tried calling me the day he got my letter and the day after, and I never heard from him after that. Sigh.

[MaryTheres]

This ha[pened to me today - Dr. is normally fine. But today he some resident examin my son.... First of all, they did not even ask my permission that the resident examine and I had my four year old and was distracted by talkign to the doc, dealing witht he baby and makng sure the 4 year old didn;t get into anythng (last time he got his hands jammed in a door and screamed for an hour). Anyway I noticed her doing exactly what the op described just a little too late just as she fineished I said "what a sec what were you doing?"

How can I tell if there is any damage or if he has been retracted. I am really really upset now!!

[Fellow Traveler]

You can't really tell and there probably is none. If it was forceful there might be a spot or two of blood in his underpants. The thing to do now is to bring it up the next opportunity. Try and be respectful at first and so long has he is receptive to your concerns. If you need some references we can provide them.

[MaryTheres]

thank you! nak. like I said the reg doc never does this but this nit-wit student was another story... usually i refuse to let students treat me or my kids but like i said it i was distracted... will it be okay, you think? there was no blood & it doesn't seem red..

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by MaryTheres

thank you! nak. like I said the reg doc never does this but this nit-wit student was another story... usually i refuse to let students treat me or my kids but like i said it i was distracted... will it be okay, you think? there was no blood & it doesn't seem red..

I am sure it will be fine. I can tell you first hand (I have one) that he'll do what seems like much worse. The foreskin is pretty resilient the problem with other people retracting him (as a child) is that it's hard to know how far it can go back comfortably. He get's feedback and won't go that far but they won't.