Co sleeping deaths in my state

[GreenGranolaMama]

My grandparents were visiting today and informed me that there were 3 separate cases of infant deaths related to co sleeping in the last week in our state (Maine, if you google it you can probably find the article). It doesn't give specific details, just the infants ages (5 weeks and 2 were 2 months). My family has been skeptical about our sleeping arrangement from the beginning (Ds slept in his bouncer next to our bed until he was 3mo, he hated the bassinet. Now DS and I share a queen sized bed, floor level, and DH sleeps separately on our queen bed) but now my family is absolutely freaking out. I was nervous to co sleep at first because DS was so little, which is why he slept in the bouncer. Dh is a light sleeper and Ds is a loud nurser, so this is why DS and I sleep in our our bed. I do use a pillow and a blanket, but wrap it around my waist. We have not had any safety issues in the 3 months we have been sharing a bed. AND yet I too am freaking out!!! I can't imagine the pain those parents are feeling!! I guess I feel safer that DS is older than those babes, he is almost 6mo. Is this a false sense of security?? Please talk me down!

[KimPM]

In the media articles, there aren't many specifics about each case, so really no conclusions can be drawn about any of the three cases.

Have you read this article?
http://www.mothering.com/how-stats-r...ing-twice-safe
"Cosleeping is Twice as Safe [as crib sleeping]"

[pjs]

The article didn't mention if any of these parents were smokers- which would not be the sole cause but a huge risk factor in SIDS. And since these babies all lived in rural Maine, having one or two parents that smoke (even around the infants/in the house) would not be a stretch. Of course, hearing about such an increase in these deaths makes me question our co-sleeping too, but I think there are many other risk factors that the article did not disclose whether or not they were present. The mere fact that the babies co-slept does not equal causation to me.

[ramama]

There are two things that I have found to be true on this topic. First, infants found dead in their cribs are assumed to have died from SIDS. Second, an infant that dies in their parents bed is assumed to have died from overlying. Statistics also don't distinguish between an infant sleeping in an adult bed alone or actually with a parent. Co-sleeping is safer than crib sleeping. SIDS isn't called "crib death" for nothing.

Take a look here:
http://thebabybond.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.html
I'm sure that other mamas here have better resources, I'm just a little cramped for time!

One more thing, go easy on your grandparents. If you were using a crib, they'd probably ask you to check the bar spacing LOL. At least that's what my grandparents do!

[lelabeth]

Hi EarthMamma!

I too have been looking at this issue from both angles -- as I slept with my now-13-month-old, also named Rowan!!, from the second night he was home.

I am pragmatic, I don't think there is any perfect option. I think that whether you co-sleep or sleep separately, there are risks and advantages to be considered. I had Rowan in a sidecar cosleeper his first night home, but brought him into bed with me the second night, it was a gut level decision.

The best thing I can say is that my own experience supports the theory that most mothers in most cultures have naturally slept next to their babies. From experience I trust very highly my own body's sense of my baby, where he is - I don't worry about rolling over on him, for example. My husband is from Mexico, where cosleeping is the norm, and comes from a family of ten in which the youngest baby always slept next to their mother.

I trust modern bedding less. When Rowan was a littler baby, his dad and I dressed him and ourselves warmly to sleep, and did not use our comforter or pillows. If you still wish to cosleep but are feeling nervous, the way to go may be to see how you can eliminate your pillow and blanket and still stay warm. There were also nights when we placed him on top of our blanket.

Now that he is a toddler I no longer feel nervous about sharing a cover with him, although I would not have done so when he was littler and would not push this choice on someone else or make assumptions about their safety or comfort level.

I have read that when cosleeping deaths are investigated, that they often involve either an adult and an infant on a couch (as opposed to a flat bed), adults who are drunk or high, or (maybe) severe obesity. I do not have direct experience of these things, however, and tend to take anything I read - whether it be a scary article about cosleeping deaths or an article saying cosleeping is always safe unless you're drunk or fat - with a grain of salt.

Best wishes to you and good for you for making a considered decision.

[Porcelain Interior]

Just think about all the babies sleeping alone in cribs that die. I'm sure their parents are thinking "I wonder if we had let him/her sleep with us if they'd have lived?"

I think you have to use your gut instincts. My gut instinct as a pregnant 16 yo was to sleep with my baby. It was primal to me. I didn't make plans to sleep with my baby either, it was just something my body and mind knew to do once she was born.

I'm nearly 31 yo now and if I had another child we'd co-sleep again. (I have two girls both co-slept.)

I didn't discuss sleeping arrangements with the grandparents, they knew we co-slept, and they thought it was a bad idea because we'd "never get the kids out" of our bed, but they were wrong. I just didn't discuss it with them.