School ignoring refusal on permission slips

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

The school sent home a paper asking permission to check my dd's hearing, vision and do a dental exam. I declined these things and sent in the signed form stating that I did and yet today dd brought a paper home saying that they did the dental check and found no issues. They did not do the hearing and vision test though. It was all covered on the same permission form.

I declined because all this was done at her physical for school and she goes to the dentist regularly and I dont see the point of doing it at school.

Now the problem is obviously them ignoring my request. Not a big deal but they are also doing flu shots at school and I have declined that as well but the teacher said dd didnt need to bring in the paper with the big red NO on it. I am worried about them ignoring me this way.

I was going to keep my kids home the day they did the flu shots like I have every year in the past but they are going to be doing them over 3 days time so I cannot keep them home that long. Because they both have missed a week already with the flu and those days count against them or at least dd because ds is only in pre k.

Who do I need to talk to about this? I asked dh and he didnt have any idea. Now I dont want to make a big huge stink about this but I do want them to know I am not happy with them going against me in this way.

[RomanCarmelMom]

I would write a big red NO on the paper, sign it, and schedule a parent teacher meeting with the principal present to discuss these issues. I would inform them that if they give your children any more unauthorized medical exams or preventative treatments at school, then you'll be consulting an attorney.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Just occurred to me that is what they did an unauthorized medical treatment Her regular teacher has been out this week and a sub has been there so I cant blame her teacher.

I understand the need for this kind of thing at school since we live where there is a lot of poverty and these free exams are very helpful but I dont want to be constantly worried about something happening to my kids that I dont want.

[RomanCarmelMom]

I understand the need as well. It's so hard to balance these things.

[LemonPie]

I'd get a t-shirt and write "DO NOT VACCINATE ME" on it and send her to school in it on the days they are doing the flu shot

My son got the dental screening even though I opted out too. I didn't have any problems with them doing a dental screening, it was just that we have fabulous dental insurance and my kids see the dentist regularly, so I didn't see the point in wasting the state's already limited resources.

[jeteaa]

Yikes. I would decline the exams because my 5 yr old Kindergarten would freak out. Doc visits are scary enough for her with me in the room. Don't let any homeschoolers hear about this. This is one of the big fears... and I have been told countless times that this kind of thing is a myth... but obviously its not. I would not hesitate to talk directly to the principle.

[SunshineJ]

I would be LIVID!! What you may not realize is that your dd's dental information may now be sent to the state, especially if she had had any concerns. For example, let's say your DD had been in for a checkup 2 weeks ago and they discovered she had a couple of cavities, issues, whatever. Her next appointment was in let's say another week. The dental office contracted by the school district checks her out, notices the issues, and "red flags" your child to the school letting them know that she may be being neglected medically as she has unresolved dental issues. I have personally had this happen and seen it happen on more than one occasion and it's great when it's really neglect but hell when it's not! I would most certainly go in and discuss this and your concerns about the upcoming flu shot with the principal, and ask that any record of the dental visit be removed from her records.

[EFmom]

I would also be livid. I don't want the school system practicing medicine on my children. We have a pediatrician and a dentist, and I don't want my kids thinking they need to be examined by strangers.

I always opt out of these things. In our school, the school nurse is the person to talk to about it. I would either be on the phone with her or go in and see her in person and explain that under no circumstances are your children to be examined or treated.

[Porcelain Interior]

Your child could have very easily made it into the dental check line by mistake. It's not cool that it happened, but I'd just touch base about it so they can do better in the future.

For the shot, I'd be tempted to write in Sharpie on my childs upper arms "Do NOT vaccinate".

Or a little note on the shirt, something.

[feminist~mama]

I actually think you *do* need to make a big fat deal over this. Medical care that you didn't consent to isn't okay. Medical care that you specifically declined is outrageous!

I'd be worried about the flu shot too! I don't want my dd to be given that either and honestly, I'd probably just keep my kiddo home- and I'd explain to the principal exactly why!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Yeah that has been a huge worry of mine in the past. I already dont vax and have an exemption and I always worry about drawing attention to myself. Thank the maker that my ds was out today or I would be a nervous wreck

I will try to set up an appt. to talk to the principle tomorrow. I want to talk to her tomorrow but I have my ds with me this week because he is out with an ear infection and I dont want to have to deal with him while trying to talk to the principle.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by EFmom

I would also be livid. I don't want the school system practicing medicine on my children. We have a pediatrician and a dentist, and I don't want my kids thinking they need to be examined by strangers.

I always opt out of these things. In our school, the school nurse is the person to talk to about it. I would either be on the phone with her or go in and see her in person and explain that under no circumstances are your children to be examined or treated.

I can talk to the school nurse no problem she is actually my dh's cousin which has made me feel better in the past because of dd's health issues. I actually almost called her tonight but decided not to since I wasnt sure she had anything to do with this or not.

Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior

Your child could have very easily made it into the dental check line by mistake. It's not cool that it happened, but I'd just touch base about it so they can do better in the future.

For the shot, I'd be tempted to write in Sharpie on my childs upper arms "Do NOT vaccinate".

Or a little note on the shirt, something.

I just asked dd how it happened and she said they came and got the whole class and everyone was checked. They also weighed her and did a height check. DD is old enough now to tell them she isnt allowed to have vax at school but I cant help but worry they might try to force her

Originally Posted by feminist~mama

I actually think you *do* need to make a big fat deal over this. Medical care that you didn't consent to isn't okay. Medical care that you specifically declined is outrageous!

I'd be worried about the flu shot too! I don't want my dd to be given that either and honestly, I'd probably just keep my kiddo home- and I'd explain to the principal exactly why!

Like I mentioned before dd has already missed 5 days with the flu and at least half another day for other things and she only has 12 days a year she can miss or they will fail her excused or not. Plus it gets her really behind on the massive amount of school work she has to do daily because her teacher will not send home all make up work only 1/4 of it because she says it causes the child to not get enough free time at home. If I keep her home another 3 days that is going to put her in a bad position should she need to miss again before the end of the year. With her health issues there is a very high probability she will have to miss more.

I would give anything if this wasnt even an issue and they would find a way to do them after hours for free instead of during school hours. Or better yet not do them at all.

Because of dd's egg allergy the shot could kill her. I dont know that for sure since she has never had one but the near ana reaction she had after the MMR which also contains eggs that she got before we knew about the egg allergy, the thought scares the out of me.

[maybemom05]

If I were in your shoes, I'd send an email to the principal - so you have something in writing - I'd return receipt it, and I would say in the letter 1)you are concerned about the fact that your request appears to be ingnored 2) given the flu allergy, the risk of a similiar mistake being made again is intolerable, so you need to know what safeguards the principal is going to put into place and 3) you will be calling before the end of the day to schedule an appointment to come in and discuss.

Keep copies of all correspondence. After your appointment, send the principal another email thanking her for her prompt attention to this crucial issue (assuming she gave it ) and summarizing the issues discussed. (This is a subtle way of letting her know that you're not going to drop this).

Good luck to you!!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I cant email her unfortunately. She probably has one but I have no idea what it is and the school website dosnt have it listed.

[Irishmommy]

Similar to this happened dd2 a couple of years ago. Apparently a form came home at the beginning of the year that was to be sent in if NOT agreeing. I never saw the form, dd's teeth were checked. I was livid too, especially since they asked her where she was born (found out they were doing a survey, but the school has that info anyway).

So I went up the chain with the health board (not the school), right to the top (office of the minister of health). Apparently, here, it's legal, and it's not "negative billing" (ie. they take it as a yes if you don't send in the form, not that it's a no unless they have a yes form).

I got nowhere, they don't see it as a violation of any rights.

[indie]

Would it be out of the question for you to go to school with her for three days?

After the mistake that they made coupled with your child's allergy I would not trust them on flu shots days. They've proven that they cannot be trusted.

A letter from a lawyer outlining the mistake that they made and the consequences if they should make a similar mistake with the flu shot would probably make them take notice.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by Irishmommy

Similar to this happened dd2 a couple of years ago. Apparently a form came home at the beginning of the year that was to be sent in if NOT agreeing. I never saw the form, dd's teeth were checked. I was livid too, especially since they asked her where she was born (found out they were doing a survey, but the school has that info anyway).

So I went up the chain with the health board (not the school), right to the top (office of the minister of health). Apparently, here, it's legal, and it's not "negative billing" (ie. they take it as a yes if you don't send in the form, not that it's a no unless they have a yes form).

I got nowhere, they don't see it as a violation of any rights.

I can understand if I hadnt sent in the form but I did I even wrote on there the reason I was declining ie that she had already had those exams in the last 2 months. I sent in both the forms the other was consent for the flu vax that had the big red NO on it that her teacher told her to bring back to me as it wasnt needed and the other form was in there with it that dd did not bring back home so they had to have gotten it. Maybe it got misplaced I dont know that is one of the questions I want to ask.

I dont know that I could go those 3 days but it might be possible. They havnt given the dates yet.

I would rather not go ape over this yet since no real harm was done but I am very disturbed at what could happen in the future.

[StephandOwen]

Geez. I'm sorry that happened. I would be livid too. I would make sure to contact the principal in some form (email, phone call or in person) before the end of the day.

The risk of "accidently" administering the flu vaccine a child who shouldn't get it is very real. We were just watching the news and this happened in a school in Kentucky- a 6 year old asthmatic child with other health issues was given the flu-mist (H1N1) despite his parents saying not to give it to him. The school claims that it was a mistake because the child who was supposed to get it has a similar name to the child who was administered the vaccine.

I have also marked the form about health care stuff at school all up. I had to find a way to decline all un-necessary things (health checks, etc) while at the same time making it clear that if he needed his inhaler, allergy meds or epi-pen that they not hesitate to give those.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I would rather not go ape over this yet since no real harm was done but I am very disturbed at what could happen in the future.

I get this, but harm could have been done. What if her allergy was to latex instead of eggs, it's highly likely the dentist wore latex gloves.

Considering what happened and the potentially fatal consequences of your DD getting a flu vax, I would expect them to excuse her for the three days without it counting, or they could look forward to hearing from your lawyer.

[WC_hapamama]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

Because of dd's egg allergy the shot could kill her. I dont know that for sure since she has never had one but the near ana reaction she had after the MMR which also contains eggs that she got before we knew about the egg allergy, the thought scares the out of me.

Even if she's never had an ana reaction to egg, I'd worry that getting egg proteins getting injected directly into her body (as opposed to having to deal with her digestive system first), might ellict a more severe response.

It's one reason why my kiddo who has technically outgrown his egg allergy doesn't get flu shots.