How Much Time can I Take my K'er out of school?

[Subhuti]

My daughter just started our local elementary school Kgarten. She had been thriving at a private contemplative preschool, but since she started public school she seems exhausted. She's having fits at home, fighting w/her sister far more than usual, and looks pale and tired. She says she likes schools sometimes, her teacher says she's doing great, she's got lots of friends.

Finally, after her coming home one to many times and saying her head was "spinning" and she felt "shakey" and missed me ... my husband and I decided that the five day/ seven hour thing is TOO much for a girl who just turned five in early September.

So, I wrote a note to the teacher saying we were going to begin "religious education" and that I'd be taking her out at various times, but that there was not a set schedule. My plan is to take my daughter to our buddhist monastery and have lunch, ask a question or two of a zen teacher there, and then do work practice for about an hour. I figure I will do this one or two afternoons a week.

What is the law in terms of taking your child out of school? Will she flunk K garten if I have her out a day or more a week? Does the fact that we are doing religious practice in any way protect us? We are zen buddhists and our spirituality comes in the form of every day life. It's not just a Sunday thing (although we attend Sunday program/zen kids all the time, as well). So we practice thru the week, and that is something I want to start sharing w/my daughter now that she is old enough. I had been planning to do this anyway, but I am starting a little earlier than I planned because my DD is just so overwhelmed by the long days at school.

Other moms in the district say that I will get threatening notes, but I have never heard of any consequences.

Should I be writing notes each time of explanation or just leave it vague? When I sign her out, what should I say on the sign out sheet? Religious ed?

Any experience, thoughts?

In NY state, K'garten is still not a required year. I believe.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

As long as it isnt required she attend by law like it is here she can miss as much as you think is needed. At least that is the way it is here.

[CarrieMF]

Finally, after her coming home one to many times and saying her head was "spinning" and she felt "shakey" and missed me ... my husband and I decided that the five day/ seven hour thing is TOO much for a girl who just turned five in early September.

head spinning, feeling shaky combined with fits at home, tired, pale, fighting more sounds like low blood sugar(especially if the time between her last meal/snack at school & when she gets home is more than 2 hours).

What you can do depends on your state.

[theretohere]

Kindergarten isn't usually required in most states- but once enrolled and attending you have opted into compulsory attendance in most states. Something to look into.

[Smocked]

Originally Posted by theretohere

Kindergarten isn't usually required in most states- but once enrolled and attending you have opted into compulsory attendance in most states. Something to look into.

:

but as far as how many days allowed to miss, here it's 5 sick days and 10 "best interest" days a year.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

head spinning, feeling shaky combined with fits at home, tired, pale, fighting more sounds like low blood sugar(especially if the time between her last meal/snack at school & when she gets home is more than 2 hours).

:

[Subhuti]

Thank you SO much. Food for thought. Anyone else have any direct experience?

I'm surprised more people haven't done this ... here its really common for parents to take their kids out of school ... frequently. Especially in the younger grades.

The only penalty I've heard is that they get a letter and eventually, a meeting w/the principal. And that's like after 20 plus absences.

Liz

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

From K to 12th the rule here is you can only miss 12 days in a year more than that even if excused they child is held back. K is mandatory here though.

[northwoods1995]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

From K to 12th the rule here is you can only miss 12 days in a year more than that even if excused they child is held back. K is mandatory here though.

That's outrageous. I have no idea what the policy is here but now I want to check into it.

[Subhuti]

In NY ... (where we live) ... K garten is not required. So it makes me feel like there is some leeway. I just checked our handbook and there is no mention of a specific number of absences. It does say that when a child has missed a whole day, you have to send in a note with an explanation.

Liz

[bobandjess99]

itas going to depend on your state law..since your location doesn't specify state, i can't help you with specifics.
*IF* she is not yet required to be in school, you probably can take her out without too much retaliation, although I'm willing ot bet they won't like it much.
however..if she is covered now, or sinece she will almost certainly be covered by next year, have you thought ahead at all? Do you think this is something she will simply outgrow in the course of teh year?

Here, they can miss 10 absences all year. And absence is either "excused" or "unexcused". Sick, or religious observance, family funerals, etc are considered excused...but they still count towards teh total number of allowed absences, it just means the child was legally/allowably out of school, as opposed ot something like a family vacation, "skipping", or some other form of missing school which is not allowed and which might ring down the truancy officer, CPS, etc.
There would be no way here, for you to take her out 1 day a week..it would add up to way too many absences total, even though the asences themselves would be "excused". Does that make sense?

She sounds very young. In fact, here in MY state, with an Aug 1 cutoff for kinder, she wouldn't even BE in school this year. Have you considered that maybe she simply isn't ready? there is nothing wrong with deciding to hold her out of you feel it is in her best interests. Many parents with borderline birthdays make that choice.
But again..you have to check your states laws, because in some places, once you start to send them, you now have to follow the states compulsory ed laws, regardless of how old they are, which means to pull her out, you might have to jump through whatever "homeschooling" hoops your state has.

(i think the blood sugar issue is one to follow up on, FWIW)

[Subhuti]

Hi

We're in NY state... the cutoff here is like Oct or Nov, so as a Sept baby, she's not that young.

And because all her friends are in this class, and it is a very good class, I want her to be with this group of kids. In many ways, according to her preschool teacher, she is the most mature of this group of kids. The problem is she is deeply sensitive and there is a lot of new stuff ... the regimentation, the noise, the crowds, some of the other kids' behaviors.

I mean ... ten days a year .. that sounds like nothing ... a child could easily be sick more than that ... or have other obligations like drs appts.

I wonder if simply taking her out after 12 will not raise flags ... I think that will depend on the district.

I think my strategy will be to proceed and see what happens.

Liz

[elanorh]

Our district states that no more than 12 days absences are allowed; after that, they're removed from the rolls. I believe they'll make exceptions if there is a doctor's note due to a medical issue but even if all the absences were medical, they'd be discussing things with parents.

That said, the district office was much much more flexible in its reaction to our family's situation than the principal was. I believe we probably could have pushed it and ended up with more flexibility from the school .... but it would have been an adversarial situation. And I don't know if they would have continued to be flexible as our K student got older.

I think you need to be prepared for a conversation with them at some point, about why your dd is missing parts of school. Whether you want to do it preemptively at this point, or wait until they're asking you questions, is up to you. They may be willing to be flexible with you; they may not. One reason we ended up enrolling in a virtual school and 'homeschooling' is that we worried that their flexibility would end midway through the school year, and we'd suddenly be told that dd couldn't miss any more school days unless it was a medical situation. We didn't want to be in a position where we were pulling her out of an environment she liked etc. midstream; we decided we'd rather just have her at home and making friends/doing other things outside of the school environment. [Our issue is frequent family travel during the school year]

[lindberg99]

Are half days a possibility? Our district does all day kindergarten but they have to allow you to send your child half day if you request it.

Or have you thought of just pulling her out altogether and having her start kindergarten again next year? Maybe things would be easier on her as a 6 yo and one of the older ones in the class.