How did you get your 4 yo out of your bed?

[jazcat]

He starts out in his bed. Then halfway through the night, climbs in with us. I'm all for it, however, DH is not happy, at all. And a grumpy sleepy DH is no good. Granted, with the new baby in there too, it is very crowded. So I'm looking for a gentle way to get him to sleep in his bed the entire night. My son has a gentle personality, is very sensitive, loving, etc. Baby sister is two weeks old. He's been very included and participating in her care and loves her like crazy. Any advice?

[RiverSky]

I think you have about 3 options:

Option 1:
Wait until your son is ready, which might take 1/2 - 4 years and tell your husband that he's the grownup and will just have to deal.

Option 2:
Put a mattress (perhaps a toddler bed?) beside or under your bed, for use when your DS comes in in the middle of the night, that way you won't be as squished in bed.

Option 3:
Sleep with your two children in another room while your husband stays in the master.



FWIW, my DD mostly stopped coming in when she was about 7 1/2. Though at 8 1/4, she still comes in sometimes. I like to treasure those times, even though sometimes it annoys me at the time, because pretty soon, she will be too old to want to come and cuddle with us. The time flies quickly.

[jazcat]

I know what you mean. Honestly, if it were just me, I'd be so happy to sleep with my children forever. There is nothing I enjoy more. Wish DH felt the same way

Has anyone out there tried moving the toddler bed next to your bed, then eventually moving the bed in their bedroom? I just wonder how it went. Toddler bed in our room would have to be temporary - very tight quarters!

[newbymom05]

We put a single next to our king, supposed to be temporary, still there 1.5 years later, but kind of good because we don't worry about the 1.5 y/o rolling off plus he can climb in and out easily. 4.5 y/o is in his bed in his own room and doesn't come in--he calls for us. Horrible, but in our family, I mind, DH doesn't.

Anyway, my brother had great luck using a chart w/ his 3 y/o to get him to sleep in his own bed--two weeks of stickers for staying all night equaled some fabulous prize.

[rzberrymom]

We have a single bed for my 4 1/2 year old right next to our queen. She has her own space, we have our bed back, but we're still right there if she need us. This arrangement seems to get us the most amount of sleep--DH and I sleep better with her now that she's in her own bed, but we don't get woken up by her needing us to come to another room or by her climbing into our bed.

[dawncayden]

My almost 4 year old starts out the night in his own room. We have dh, myself and 6 month old in queen.
We have a single bed on floor next to our bed. We have told ds that is his special bed and if he needs to sleep in our room it has to be there.

We made his special bed into a big deal, it has truck sheets and one of his fav stuffed animals with it.

It was quite an easy transition.

[LaLaLaLa]

We had a talk with our DD when she was 4.5 or so. We told her that we love her and on the weekends it's SO great when she wants to come and cuddle with us in bed. But on days when we have to wake up to do things in the morning, and she's tossing and turning and radiating thousands of degrees of heat all night, especially when DS gets into bed, too, then we all get up grumpy. A grumpy Mommy who hasn't had enough sleep doesn't usually want to do fun things during the day. She wants to drink coffee and swallow Ibuprofins and not go to the park. My DD is pretty invested in having a cheerful and happy Mom in the morning and all day long, and generally stays in bed. For awhile her sleeping bag was on the floor of our bedroom and she would come up and use that, but then the novelty wore off.

Now if we could just convince DS, who is 3.5, to stay in his bed, things would be great.

[MusicianDad]

I'd be inclined to tell him that if he is well with in his rights to change beds when the four year old joins the big bed.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

I'd be inclined to tell him that if he is well with in his rights to change beds when the four year old joins the big bed.

I give dh a hard time when he complains about our cosleeper because he doesn't come to bed until the wee hours himself. It's like we sleep in shifts so why have another bed. Would have frozen last night if I didn't have ds come to bed with me! I like to throw that quote from the bible around, too. "How can he who sleeps alone keep warm at night?"

We do have a twin in our room as well as our king (yeah, big room). Sometimes I crawl into it if I've gotten out of bed and everyone is sprawling when I get back. Then ds eventually notices and crawls into the twin with me.

[catballou24]

we put a toddler bed by our's and our 4YO dd sleeps there most nights until about 5AM then crawls up and snuggles up to dh... she's small and compact, so it really doesn't affect that last hour of our sleep. we are getting her and her sister a bunkbed (thank you grandma and grandpa!) for the holidays and she's very excited about sleeping in it. we are going to make a big deal about decorating the bottom bunk anway she wants it.. our older dd is 6 now and still comes and crawls in bed on the weekends but during the week stays in her own bed just fine. sometimes it's just the timing of it all with their ages and comfort levels.

good luck!!!

[velochic]

My dd, who will be 8 in Feb. has never slept outside of our bed, so I have absolutely no advice. I personally think it's normal to not want to sleep alone, especially as a youngster. Warmth, comfort, companionship... why would a child *want* to sleep alone? I'm sure some do, but I'd guess the norm is to not want to sleep alone.

[noobmom]

Originally Posted by velochic

My dd, who will be 8 in Feb. has never slept outside of our bed, so I have absolutely no advice. I personally think it's normal to not want to sleep alone, especially as a youngster. Warmth, comfort, companionship... why would a child *want* to sleep alone? I'm sure some do, but I'd guess the norm is to not want to sleep alone.

I agree! Most adults don't want to sleep alone, why would children? I'm not kicking DS out until he's ready. But that doesn't help the you.