My 9 month old is a relentless hair puller!

[LilacMama]

She's been this way for months but it's getting worse. She pulls everyone's hair but the main problem has been her pulling her (same-age) cousin's hair CONSTANTLY at every play date. It's just a giant hair-pulling prevention get together time. It's absurd. We just redirect and redirect and I'm about to lose it. If I turn my back for two seconds she pulls like crazy and he cries and cries.

Are 9 month olds too little to understand "no"? Help, I don't know what I'm doing! She doesn't appear to be angry or jealous when she's doing this. She just looks like she has a major compulsion to pull hair.

Thanks for any advice,

[pauletoy]

All 9 month olds pull hair, as a matter of fact my one year old still sometimes pulls hair and anything else he can get his hands on.

Redirection is about the only way to deal with this. IMO 9 months old is way to young for any type of discipline.

[Violet2]

They understand no but they can't stop themselves.

Try 'gentle' and model it for her. When she pulls, remove her and say 'gentle' while stroking her hair gently.

DD had this down by about 10 months and would moderate her hair pulling if I reminded her to be gentle.

It will take some time. So prevention is the best option until gentle kicks in.


V

[dziwozony]

yes, i agree that 9mo is far too young for discipline! my 9mo is a hair puller as well. when he yanks on mine i do talk to him...i tell him "ouch, that hurts, please don't pull my hair"...i talk to my kids about all sorts of things throughout the day, so this is just normal. certainly talk to your babe about it, tell them what's happening as you redirect them...but don't expect them to stop because you said so. it's just not developmentally appropriate.

there's probably not any kind of underlaying jealousy or anger! it's just exploratory.

i understand that you must be frustrated!

[LilacMama]

Thanks everyone. It's sad because her little cousin never tries to hurt her so I just end up feeling like my kid is the bully. Sigh.

I think I'm going to have to stop the play dates for a while. For my mental health, if nothing else. She probably tried to pull his hair 40 times in one hour today (and succeeded twice).

Today I actually had my very long hair donated to Locks of Love -- I'm practically bald now over this issue. Bald with no play dates. LOL.

[lifeguard]

Ds is/was the same way - although the victim is usually me.

I disagree with the pp who said 9 mos they understand. Maybe some babies do but ds at 11 mos still does NOT understand no. He may get my tone of voice at times but the word - not a chance.

[vocalise]

Just thought I'd share a possible solution. Dd is ten months, and a relentless hair puller, especially when I have her in the backpack. So I tie a scarf over my hair. Maybe you could find a hat or something for the cuz?

[LilacMama]

Originally Posted by vocalise

Maybe you could find a hat or something for the cuz?

We tried that but he always pulls hats off right away. He doesn't understand that it's for his protection

[vocalise]

Aw, too bad!