Overcoming spiritual burnout?

[NicaG]

Lately I am feeling completely burned out spiritually. I am Christian (Episcopalian) and fairly involved at our church. But I sit in the pews and think, what am I doing here? I'm just going through the motions. And that's ok for a while and normal, but then the feeling never goes away. I try to pray at home, but I feel like I'm talking to the air. I read the bible, but it's just a dry exercise. My ds asks me questions about God, and I feel like I have no convictions, like I can't really speak from my heart about God. It makes me sad. What now?

[Bluegoat]

Do you know what has brought this on?

Every Christian has times like these, and they are important in our spiritual development. They are what Screwtape calls the "troughs" and are really more related to our emotions and energy level than any real spiritual or intellectual principle. But when we are in them we become spiritually and intellectually vulnerable, and also vulnerable to various forms of sin.

On the bright side, by getting through these times when we don't feel rewarded for our spiritual efforts, we grow in many ways.

The most important thing in such times is to keep up your prayer life and life in the sacraments, even if those are the last things you want to do. Don't worry if your prayer seems forced or unnatural; there is nothing more pleasing to God than an effort put forth to pray despite not really wanting to. Eventually, it will get better.

You might want to think about praying one or more of the daily offices - compline is a very beautiful one, is fairly short, and you do it after the kids are in bed. It can give some great structure if you aren't feeling inspired. (I am not sure what compline looks like in the newer American book, this is the version I like.) Or see if any local churches offer a mid-week Eucharist you can get to without kids - they are often much more quiet and peaceful.

And take care of yourself - make sure to eat well, sleep enough, and keep your energy up. If there is something specific that is sapping your enthusiasm and energy, see if it is something that can fit into your life now or if it is something you need to leave behind, at least for a while.

[CharlieToaster]

And now for something completely different.....

I'd say the greater part of you is trying to tell you something.

I was guided by our priest to the Screwtape letters at a time like you are in now. I wouldn't advise going there. I was in my late teens, early 20's and it really messed me up. It was a scary place to be when I got lost in the book so unless you can read it objectively, I don't recommend it.

Oh, and I was and Episcopalian too!!!

I'd say you are in an amazing time in your spiritual life to reevaluate everything and find a new pathway or pathways to God. Actually, I'd advise sitting back and letting God reach you in a new way! That's really exciting!!! If you don't feel like going to church or your not getting anything out of it don't go! It's not going to kill you to miss a week or two. Lightening will not strike you down. I guarantee it!!!

There has been so much going on in the Episcopal Church as a whole in the past several years it would be hard not to be affected by it in some way. (I'm sorry, spelling eludes me today) It would be hard to not think "Gee does God love gay people or approve of a female bishop or this or that or the other thing?" Even if your parish came through or is coming through so many changes unscathed it's still hard not to feel the dynamics in the greater church. When I was a kid it was all about a change in a prayer book, now it's making judgement calls on how vast God's love really is. When you attach your spirituality to a larger group it's easy to get lost in the whole when in actuality its the whole that should help you grow in your personal convictions and beliefs instead of stating them for you.

I believe that God is love and love feels good. There is also unconditional love that's a little more tough and helps us to grow but at the end of the day, the relationship between you and God should be one that feels good. You should always be able to go lay your head in God's lap and he should be stroking your hair while you rest your weary head. Even at times like this when you find yourself questioning God will not leave or foresake you. It's not always a light at the end of the tunnel but it's a halnd that holds you while you find your own way.

When I'm really stressed and need an escape I go hang out with Jesus in my head. It really works for me. I think of him as a brother or a friend that I can just talk to or don't have to talk to. I can just "be" with him. You don't have to pray, you can talk. Talk about everything with God, then, let him talk back. It works.

Good luck! Have a fun and exciting time getting to know God in a whole new way!!!!!

[eastkygal]

I am just coming out of a funk like this. I am a non-denominational Christian. I agree with most of what the pp said. It shouldn't be that going to church is always an awesome experience, but if it isn't at least uplifting for you or helping you worship God, I would do some self searching. Is it the right church for you? Are you going in the right frame of mind? If not, it might be time for a break.

Also, with praying. Know that even when you can't pray the inner voice inside of you prays. God knows exactly what you need, and your needs will be met. I would try to pray, but don't be discouraged if you can't. Ask others to pray for you.

I also agree about the other pathways. I have recently (June 2009) found Kundalini Yoga. Yoga in general has really helped me through this time. It has helped me reconnect with God and my life's purpose more than any other thing before. Kundalini Yoga for me is a time to praise God, and listen to that part of God that resides within me. Meditating would also be another great thing, if you can't pray. Just being in the moment.

Sometimes we are called to be still. To just listen and stop trying to be something our churches seem to want us to be. To listen and discover who you are for yourself.

Psalm 46:10 - Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

This verse is really speaking to me right now. I'm getting an overwhelming sense to stop fighting in my life. Stop striving and simply be in the present meeting the needs of myself and family as they arise. Other translations of this verse say "Be still" instead of "cease striving".

Know that God is God and seek Him everywhere, find Him within yourself.... don't confine yourself to a church. That is only a building. The actual "church" are the believers.

[Tradd]

There are very often dry times. The early Desert Fathers even speak of this. Great saints have had them, such as St. John of the Cross.

Perhaps going "back to the basics" in reading might help - something like CS Lewis' "Mere Christianity."

[NicaG]

Thanks for the kind words. It is amazing how perceptive these responses are....I think I am feeling a lot of burnout with the Episcopal Church, feeling like the Church has lost its way and has turned into a theological muddle. And my parish is great for kids, but I am not finding a lot of spiritual sustenance for adults. There is a lot of jockeying for petty power, and not much in terms of adult education or bible study. And our priests are very kind, but they are not so good at writing sermons. Which is fine about 90% of the time, but every once in a while I'd like a sermon that really speaks to my soul, and I haven't had that in years.

Anyway....I have scaled back my involvement somewhat, mostly because my dd naps exactly at the time of the main Sunday Eucharist, so it's difficult to bring her or leave her in the nursery, because she's so fussy. My dh is teaching Sunday school, so for now I'm leaving him mostly in charge of our family's involvement at the church.

I have been thinking about taking a yoga/meditation class--thanks for the suggestion of Kundalini yoga, eastkygal. There is a yoga studio nearby that offers Iyengar and Kundalini yoga, so maybe I will try a class.

And Bluegoat, thank you for mentioning the Daily Office, compline in particular. I think that would be a useful discipline while I'm having a hard time feeling motivated to pray. I used to pray compline every night....somehow over the years it dropped away.

And yes, I think I am not taking very good care of myself, and maybe it is difficult to hear God's voice when I am chronically tired, not eating right, not getting enough exercise.

Anyway, thanks again for the kind words.

[CharlieToaster]

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